Defiance
by asdawnbreaks
Summary: Gale is offered a scholarship with the Peacekeeper Recruiting Academy in District 2, he takes the offer, knowing it will feed his family and he will eventually return to 12. But when Katniss and Peeta are reaped from 12, and Gale is reaped from 2, the 74th annual Hunger Games takes an interesting turn with the biggest love triangle Panem has ever seen!
1. Jealous

**A/N: So i got the idea for this story in an inbox message from eckles who wanted me to run with it, so i have! It's going to be a longer story, and it's taking priority over my other stories for now! I hope you enjoy, give me some reviews to let me know what you think! :)**

* * *

A mockingjay sings in the distance, and I have to make a concentrated effort not to get Katniss to sing. We've been tracking a deer all day, and one wrong move would send it scampering into the woods, never to be seen again. Katniss has been obsessive about this particular animal—but I can't blame her, considering we need the meat. The deer makes one misplaced step into our view, and within two seconds, he has two arrows in his neck. I take a step towards our kill and slit its throat cleanly to ensure the kill, "Nice shot, Catnip," I call.

Katniss walks toward me with a huge grin, something that is unfamiliar unless we just brought down a huge animal, "Not bad shooting for you either."

I flex my muscles toward her and wink, "_These_ are the real guns you should be worried about."

She shakes her head and begins cleaning her arrows and preparing to carry the deer (along with the two rabbits and three squirrels) to the Hob so we can trade them. Only two weeks left before the Hunger Games, and we know that we won't be able to go into the woods every day, so we have to stock up. The week before the actual start of the games belongs to the Reapings and the opening ceremonies and the tributes' training. The poor citizens of the districts have to watch all these stupid things, so there is an extra amount of Peacekeepers.

Which makes hunting difficult.

We walk the familiar path to put up our weapons before sneaking into town with the deer. Katniss and I are both in a good way with the local Peacekeepers, who often turn the other way as long as we bring them game, but we don't want to appear like we're showing them up by bringing in huge game and not bothering to conceal it. Illegally hunting to feed our families is one thing—subconsciously bragging about it by bringing in a huge deer is another.

The woods are full of life today, and we hear the mockingjays sing again as we take a different route than normal to the Hob. Instead of being visible from the road, this one is deeper into the woods, so we won't be seen until we are at the backdoor of the old warehouse. The sunshine spills through the trees, so I start to whistle along with the birds song, and Katniss's smile gets wider and wider the more we walk.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I ask her.

She laughs at me, "I'll need my penny up front, Hawthorne."

"I've taught you well then," I reply.

I know better than to try to pry whatever she was thinking from her, besides, she can't keep a secret from me. So I just keep walking at my brisk pace and whistling until Katniss finally decides to tell me what she was smiling about.

"I'm just excited that we're going to have so much meat. It's more than we've ever had during the games before," she admits.

I laugh, because I knew she'd end up telling me eventually. "What did you think, we'd starve? You know better than to think that."

Katniss just rolls her eyes at me and comes through the tree line, checking to make sure no one can see us, before heading into the Hob. The talking quiets as soon as we walk in, and the silence takes over for a few seconds before the whispers start. Katniss ignores them as usual and looks for the butcher, but I can't help but listen to some of them.

Since we started hunting together when I was 14, the whispers have always been there. At first it was the talk of two kids _actually_ going out to hunt together. Since then it's been bets on the two of us—if we'd get together, when we'd get together, etc. I don't really mind, because although I'd actually like to have Katniss for my own, but she doesn't think that way, so it's more annoying than anything.

We give the deer to the butcher, who assures us that she will skin, gut, and cut the creature for us. "You know I have to take 20% of the meat, Gale," she says.

Katniss looks at me and I nod. I pride myself on never paying more or less than something is worth, I don't like to be cheated and I don't like to cheat other people. Most of the people in the Hob know this, so they often give me a fair price up front. I feel like 20% is fair, considering all the work the butcher has to do.

We leave the butcher's table and walk to Greasy Sae's to eat some soup and trade some of the squirrels. The quieted whispers seem to be growing louder to me, but I just chalk it up to my imagination and sit on a stool next to Katniss. Darius is on her other side, and instead of teasing her (a rabbit for a kiss) he just sits, looking very solemn. Katniss notices too, and she looks back at me, her look saying _What's up with him?_

I shake my head, _I don't know, ask him_.

Katniss nods and turns to Darius, "What's wrong with you, Peacekeeper?"

He looks at the two of us and sighs, "Bad news I have to talk to you kids about. I need a favor for the next week." Katniss and I look at each other and I nod, so she motions for him to keep going. "I need you both to stay out of the woods next week if you can. The Peacekeeper's Recruitment Agency is coming in next week, and if they see something like that, it'll be my ass _and_ Cray's."

"We'll do our best, but why is the PRA coming so early? Don't they usually come after the Victory Tour?" I ask him.

Darius nods, "Usually. But recruitment numbers are down, and they think that doing it after the Victory Tour only places the pride in one district rather than all of them."

"That makes sense," Katniss comments.

"They're also expanding the ages," Darius continues. "Hoping to get younger men and women, but you two will find out all about it today at school—don't let me ruin your surprise." He grins, and before long, he's back to teasing Katniss about trading a rabbit for a kiss. He keeps twisting the end of her braid up to tickle her face, and although this isn't the first time this has happened, I start to get more and more annoyed with his giggling.

"She's not going to give you a kiss," I snap.

Katniss and Darius both turned to me surprised, and Darius leans closer to me, "Didn't realize she was _claimed_, Hawthorne."

My hands ball up into fists, and I can feel the blood rising through me, "She's _not_," I spit, "I just know she wouldn't want your kisses if they were water and she was dying of thirst."

I put a coin down on the bar for both Katniss and I and get up, heading back to the butcher's to get my meat. I know Katniss will follow, so I don't even bother looking behind me. She puts a hand on my shoulder motioning for me to stop, "Gale, what the hell was that?"

I shake my head and elect to not answer her, because honestly I'm not even sure what that was. Darius always messes with Katniss, and it's never mattered to me before, but for some reason it does now. Jealousy? Maybe, but for now I don't want to think about it, so I don't.

We get our meat and start to head back home, my anger fading with each step. Before long I catch her smiling at me, so I smirk back. "You know, Gale," she begins with a light and teasing tone. "If you're _jealous_ of Darius kissing me… All you have to do is say so."

I roll my eyes at her, "I wasn't jealous, I was just sick of hearing you tell him no."

She smiles sweetly again, "Whatever you say, Gale."

"Wouldn't you be jealous if a female Peacekeeper was trying to kiss me?" I counter.

Katniss just shakes her head, "I have to put up with that every day, Gale."

Every day? "What do you mean, Catnip?"

"The girls at school," she rolls her eyes. "'_Oh that Gale Hawthorne!'_ Their swooning almost makes me sick on a daily basis."

I let the comment drop and just keep walking. We come to the place in the road where we have to split off to go to our houses and I notice the thick silence between us. I'm not really sure what else to say, "I guess I'll see you after school?"

She smiles, "You'll have lunch with me today, because of that Peacekeeper presentation."

Oh right. Fuck. "Right, I'll see you at lunch then." And we go our separate ways to get ready for school.

…

When I get home, Mom already has breakfast on the table and greets me with a warm smile. Rory is less than happy about being up so early and groans at me before plopping down in a chair, unsuccessfully fighting sleep. Vick has his nose in a book and barely acknowledges me, while Posy attempts to throw her oatmeal at me with a spoon. I kiss them all on the head and since the meat has already been packed, I go back to the bathroom and try to clean myself a little before school.

My appearance at school hasn't ever been something that I really bothered with, in fact it's something I've always tried to avoid. I never really wanted girls everywhere when I walked through school, but it never mattered how disheveled my appearance, girls still came calling. But it seems as if lately that I'm trying to look nicer and nicer wherever Katniss is concerned. Mom caught me trying to smooth down my cowlick before going hunting one afternoon, and at the time it didn't really mean much to me, but after this morning's incident with Dairus, I'm starting to get a little confused.

Of course, I've always loved Katniss, but mostly in the sisterly way. Sure, I've noticed she's gotten really pretty in the last year or so, but she's only fifteen—she hasn't started thinking about boys yet. In fact, it's beginning to become clear to me that she might not start thinking about boys at all. But they've always stared at her, that Mellark kid especially. Normally I just move a little closer to her and he stops, but it's always bugged me that he looks at her in the first place.

I finished getting dressed and head to the kitchen, not needing to eat since I already had something at Greasy Sae's. The boys pick up their backpacks, and at 7:45 we start walking to meet Prim and Katniss on our way to school.

Since Prim goes to the same school as Rory and Vick, Katniss and I usually take the honors of walking them all to school and picking them all up, today being no different. As we walk, Prim starts talking to Rory about something a girl said in her class, so Katniss and I hang back to talk to each other.

"So I tried to dress a little nicer today in hopes that the girls would swoon even harder," I joke. She just rolls her eyes so I know that she's still pissed over this morning, but eventually she ends up cracking a smile.

"Just dying to see me throw up, aren't you?"

We hug and kiss the kids goodbye and send them to school before heading in the opposite direction to our secondary school. It's a little drearier than where Prim, Rory, and Vick go, but nobody really cares there anyway. As long as your attendance is good and you don't kill anybody while you're there, none of the teachers really mind if you don't pay attention. Because for girls in our district, their future is really as a wife and mother, and all the boys are destined for the mines, so what's the point in an education for Seam kids?

If the whispers in the Hob are bad when Katniss and I walk in together, the whispers in school are way, way worse. It seems like all the boys are jealous of me for being so close to her, and all the girls are jealous of her because they think we're sleeping together.

As if I could be so lucky.

But Katniss ignores them just as easily as she ignored the people in the Hob this morning, and we make our way to her homeroom class, same as always. She leans up against the door and faces me, smiling for the first time since we walked through the door. "That Peacekeeper thing is this morning, you know," she states.

"Why do you keep reminding me?" I tease, "Trying to get rid of me so early?"

She just laughs and hugs me before walking into her class, so I smirk at her and begin walking the hallways to my own homeroom. I sit down at my assigned desk, which has always been too small for me. I notice an unfamiliar Peacekeeper standing at the door, and judging by the stripes on his arm, he's very important.

And he keeps staring at me.

The teacher asks all of us to sit down quietly so we can watch the special broadcast introduction before heading down to the auditorium for the assembly. The television turns on, the symbol of Panem shows, and before I know it, I'm preparing for a well-deserved nap.


	2. Choices

**A greater power than we can contradict**  
**Hath thwarted our intents.**  
**—William Shakespeare, _Romeo & Juliet_.**

* * *

I sleep through most of the movie they show and manage to wake up at the end with just enough time left to make it seem like I was paying attention. I look around the room and notice that most of my fellow classmates have also drifted off into dreamland.

The lights come on and I notice that the Peacekeeper is still staring at me as he explains to us to file down to the Auditorium. He says it doesn't matter where we sit, so as soon as I hit the hallway, I start looking for Katniss. It proves to be a waste of time, though, because she and Madge Undersee are waiting outside the door to my classroom.

"Well, to what do I owe the pleasure of such wonderful looking ladies?"

Madge giggles, "Maverick is in your class, Gale."

Oh, right. Madge's boyfriend. He's a nice enough guy, but he's from the merchant district, and he's one of the few merchant boys who treats me as an equal even though I'm from the Seam. I'm glad he's dating Madge; the two of them are suited for each other.

The three of us wait for him and then file down to the auditorium as instructed. We find four seats and file in, Maverick, Madge, Katniss and I in a row together. The lights dim and a spotlight comes on as District 12's head Peacekeeper Cray walks out on the stage.

He spots Katniss and me in the crowd and nods at us, so we nod back without even thinking. He then sets the microphone and begins talking.

"Children of District 12, you know that I am the Head Peacekeeper of our district, and although we have kept the streets of our fair district safe, we now have a favor that we ask of you—the citizens. The Peacekeepers Recruiting Agency has decided to change the recruitment requirements and has also decided to start campaigning to you a little earlier, while showing you some of our benefits and the ways you can all help your district."

"Here to explain these procedures and benefits is the head Peacekeeper of Panem: Donnelly Markson."

Markson was a big man, and he actually reminded me a lot of my dad: broad shoulders, dark hair, no nonsense demeanor. But he stepped to the microphone and a powerpoint flashed in the background to help influence his points.

"Firstly, I want you all to know what an honor it is to uphold the laws that govern Panem. But, you've heard this speech many times, so let me start explaining what the different requirements are as far as the PRA go."

He clicked the slide, "The first difference we've made this year is the appropriate ages that one can go into the Peacekeepers Academy. This year, we have decided to start letting 16 year olds join, rather than waiting until you are 18 years of age."

At the mention of being sixteen or older, Katniss elbowed me, "Means you can join up this year, Gale."

I snorted at her, "Protecting the Capitol? That would be a problem considering I've sworn to hate them for all eternity." Katniss started giggling so loudly that I finally had to put a hand over her mouth to make her stop.

Markson went on, "In addition to that, you would be flown to District 2 to participate in the Academy with other teenagers. As far as money and payment, you would be a recipient of the Peacekeeper Scholarship, which totals around $5,000 a year that would be sent directly to your families."

"Five thousand dollars a year?!" Katniss breathes. "Gale, do you know what our mothers would do with five_ thousand _dollars a _year_?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," I reply. "Too bad you aren't eligible, Catnip."

"In addition to the scholarship," Markson went on, "each Peacekeeper in training would get what we call a 'Capitol Allowance' which he or she would be free to spend during weekly trips to the Capitol or to send back to his or her family. This allowance will be given on a person-by-person basis of how well they do on each task they are given."

I glanced over at Katniss, her eyes were growing wide at the mention of all that money, up for grabs. However, she wasn't eligible—I was.

"Now, the Peacekeepers have analyzed which boys and girls ages 16 and up are the most able bodied and desired for our campaign. However, we have invited the 14 and 15 year old classes down today so they can begin preparing themselves if the life of a Peacekeeper is something they are interested in."

"Now for the most important part," Markson smiled as he clicked his slide. "Once a Peacekeeper completes his training, he will be eligible to apply to come back to his or her district of choice to do his or her duty as a Peacekeeper there."

Marson smiled at the audience, "Ladies and gentlemen, I feel as if I don't have to explain the honor this would bring your families to have a Peacekeeper in the family." Katniss cut me a look, _yeah right._

So I whispered, "Oh yeah, a real 'honor,'" using air quotes.

She started to giggle again, loud enough for Madge and Maverick to turn our way and give us quizzical looks.

"Any questions?"

The auditorium started buzzing with people talking in excitement. Katniss simply grabbed my hand with enough force that I began to wonder if she was going to break it. A smaller kid in the front who I didn't know raised his hand for a question, Markson pointed to him and motioned for him to speak.

"What about reaping eligibility?"

Ah, the question of the hour, I thought to myself. If going to this academy took our names out of the reapings, every Seam kid in the district would be signed up within the hour.

Markson smiled and clicked to a slide in his PowerPoint. "While you will still be eligible for reapings until you pass your 18th year, your name and number of slips will go into the bowl with all of the other district 2 children."

"What horseshit!" I yelled, before I realized what I was saying. But to my happiness, several other kids in the auditorium had the same reactions. Why should the kids in 2 get a break just because they were Capitol lapdogs?

Markson didn't really know how to handle the anger of the people around him, so he turned it back over to Cray, who simply dismissed us to our lunch.

Katniss still held my hand as we walked to the cafeteria with Madge and Maverick. I didn't mind, and I certainly wasn't going to let go. But she stopped just short of her normal table and looked up at me, "Let's go somewhere we can be alone." I nodded, and let her lead me to the school's courtyard where no one would hear our conversation. I sat down on the bench and she began pacing around me.

"Gale… This is a big deal," she said. "That's a lot of money. I'm considering joining up myself next year."

I nodded, I knew she would have something to say about this. In fact, Markson had even started to convince me too. "I know, Catnip. This is a lot of money, and I have an even better chance of not being reaped, because I'll be in with all the district 2 fucks who like to volunteer."

She smiled even bigger, "It would be nice to not have to worry about you being reaped."

"And then when I get out of the Academy, I request to come back here. I turn the other way when you want to go hunt, and in 15 years I retire with a big, fat paycheck. And the best part is I don't have to work in the mines, ever. No more worrying about collapses, no tired and weary body that breaks down at 40, I'll finally be free."

She frowned a little, "But what about me, Gale?"

I pulled her in by her hand to sit next to me, I didn't have to say anything, my eyes said it for me, _What about you?_

"Where am I in that? Do I just get to watch you reap the benefits?"

A laugh escaped my lips, but I couldn't help it, she really was just too funny. "Well I marry you, of course, Catnip. That way we can split everything right down the middle, just like always."

The answer seems to appease her, so she goes on, "Is this something you're really serious about, Gale?"

I nod, "It's too much money to pass up, and I'm at the top of my gym class—they're probably going to approach me about it anyway… Can you keep them fed while I'm gone?" She nods, like I knew she would. But the most antagonizing question still lingers in my mind. Since I've noticed that I do actually have feelings for Katniss, they've become impossible for me to ignore, taking up every spare inch of my brain.

"Can you wait for me, Katniss?"

She smiles, "It's basically what I do every day in the woods anyway, Hawthorne."

I shake my head, and it almost hurts that she doesn't catch my meaning, so I take her hands in mine, "No, Catnip. I mean, like really wait for me…" I can still tell she doesn't understand, so I start to stumble on my words, "Like, you-you know…as in.. w-w-without another ma-man…"

Katniss is surprised, and her mouth just turns to the shape of a small 'O' and I know I messed up. "Or, or not."

But she puts a finger to my lips and takes my hand, "Yes, Gale. I'll wait for you, no matter what you decide to do."

…

Just as I predicted, the Peacekeepers come into our gym class within the week, wanting to talk to us about joining up. The first commitment was to the Academy, and after Academy was over we could make another decision on if we wanted to commit 15 years or just go back to being a regular civilian. The head Peacekeeper made an effort to talk to me directly, "Son, you are the exact type of material we are looking for in the PRA. We'd be honored to have you."

Having already had the discussion with my mother, the only thing left to do was agree and sign the paper. She had been sad at the thought of her eldest son leaving, but all the money was something that none of us could afford to pass up. The promise of getting to come home once a year, along with a slim chance of being in the Hunger Games, and being free from the mines was just too good of a deal to pass up.

And the director told me that I had to do was make it through the Hunger Games without being picked, and the tributes left, I'd be shipped off to district two. It disappointed me to realize that I would be gone so quickly, but I knew no one was as disappointed as Katniss was. She tried to hide it from me, and I knew she was excited at the thought of so much money, but she was really depressed and I couldn't blame her. At least she would be here with her family, only missing her best friend and, whatever it was that we were. I was going to be thousands of miles away, with just my thoughts and some serious physical training to occupy me.

On the morning of the Reaping, Katniss and I snuck away to the woods once again, as has been our tradition for the last few years. We normally go out to the valley miles and miles away from where anyone could hear us. We scream our frustrations at the Capitol and feast before the big drawing, and generally comfort each other before facing our families.

Either way after the Reaping today I would be gone. I could only pray that Katniss wasn't reaped, because I wasn't very sure what we would do if she were. So instead of dwelling on the unpleasant, I just smiled and joked with her until she smiled back. When she looked at her watch and announced it was almost time to go, she started to cry.

"Hey, hey, hey," I crossed to her and held her in my arms, just comforting her while she cried, "What's wrong, Catnip?"

"I can't let you leave, Gale. I don't know what I'm going to do without you until you come back."

I took her chin in my fingers and lifted her face toward me, "You'll miss me, I'm sure. But I'm going to miss you too. You're going to wait for me, and I'm going to wait for you."

She sniffled, and I wiped a tear from her eyes, "How do you know it's going to be worth it?"

I smiled, because that was the most obvious question of all. "You're worth it, Catnip." And I reached down ever so softly, to plant a light kiss on her lips. I kissed her cheeks, only stopping when I was just a breath away from her ear and whispered, "You will always be worth it to me."


	3. Lonely

**Hell is empty / all the devils are here.  
—Shakespeare**

* * *

It seemed like over the course of a few days, everything in my life had become hard. The news that Gale would be leaving immediately after the Reaping hit me like a ton of bricks, but he was the only person I would let myself cry in front of, putting on my happiest face for Prim.

I didn't sleep very much at all that night, and when I _did_ sleep, it was restless with dreams of Gale being reaped, or Gale turning into a Capitolite, or never seeing Gale again.

The morning of the Reaping continued as it always had, with us having our feast and screaming into the valley what we hated most about the Capitol. I cried when I realized that it was probably our last one, _ever_. He walked me back to town, his hand never leaving mine, and I realized how much I liked the feel of his warm, coarse hands over mine.

"Wear something pretty to the square, Katniss."

He smirked, and I knew he was being sarcastic, "Don't I always?"

Gale bent down to kiss my forehead and smiled, "Yes you do. But go, you'll have to hurry or you'll be late."

And while Prim and I rushed to get ready in time, nothing was very pressing. She still had another year safe until she was eligible for the Reaping, so I wasn't very worried for anyone except Gale. Even I knew that I would be okay if I were picked, but I didn't know if I could do anything knowing Gale had a possibility of dying by the Capitol's hand.

But I pushed all my worries aside and held Prim's hand as we made our way to the square. We met Gale and the Hawthornes at the end of the street with big smiles and hugs, and Gale grabbed my hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He smiled down at me and led us down to the square, his smile fading with every step. He knew what Reaping day meant just as much as I did.

As we reached the square, I hugged my mother and sister and kissed all of Gale's family before holding his hand down to the 15 year old girls section. He hugged me close, same as he did every year, but instead of pulling away and wishing each other luck, he kissed me in front of everyone. I could hear the gasps of the jealous girls around me, but it was barely long enough for me to register the pressure of his lips on mine.

He let me go to stand next to Madge and he continued to the roped off 17 year old boys section. The bell sounded, and I grabbed Madge's hand as Effie Trinket came to the stage to introduce herself and begin drawing for the tributes. Her hand flitted around, but the only thing I could register was that the name she called was not mine. And as she drew the unlucky tribute from the bowl of boys names, she didn't call Gale either.

We were both safe for another year, and the relief off my shoulders was enough to make me collapse into Gale's arms when he finally found me and smothered me in kisses. I could see the girls around us staring, but I remember that I couldn't find it in me to care.

And he had been gone almost a year.

It had been two months since we walked from the square to his house to get his bags, and then to the train station to see him off. He'd kissed me long enough that I needed to catch my breath afterward, and breathed into my ear just how much he would miss me and that he would write me as soon and as often as he could.

And just like that, he was gone.

In the last eleven months, I felt like I had adjusted pretty well considering what a huge hole of my life was gone. I hunted alone, I sat in the woods alone, I sat at school alone, I ignored the whispers of the girls around me about Gale, and did basically everything by myself. I got a letter from Gale at least once every two days, and it was enough to get me through until I got the next one.

But with the Reaping coming up, I was even more reminded of his absence. His letters promised that he missed me, but I knew I wouldn't be sure until I got him in my arms again.

On the morning of the Reaping, I woke up early and checked the mail. There was a letter from Gale, and it was heavy, as if it had something inside it, but it had "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL YOU ARE IN OUR PLACE" written on it. I assumed "our place" meant the valley, since it was reaping day and all, so I smiled and headed out to the woods with my feast.

When I finally made it out to the valley, I sat on the grass and opened the letter with Gale's scribbles all over it so I could read it.

_Catnip,  
Today is the big day, our first reaping apart. I know you're probably nervous, and I know you're scared too—but don't be. They aren't going to pick me, Catnip, and even if they do, someone in the crowd is going to volunteer anyway._

_As for you, you know you're going to be fine, so I'm not even sure why you're so worried with it (and I know you're worried about it, so don't try to lie). Just think, only one more year until I'm done with this Academy and I can finally come home to you. _

_Inside is a locket, with my favorite (and probably the only) picture of us. I want you to wear it today and hold it close. If you're picked, I want you to wear it proud, and remember that no matter where I am, you're always going to be on my mind. _

_Yours always,  
Gale._

I smiled down at the letter, Gale always knew what to say, even if I hadn't seen him in a year and he was thousands of miles away. I pulled out the locket so I could stare at the picture. It was one of us from the Hob, and I remembered the day clearly. Darius had just gotten a new camera and was hellbent on taking pictures of all of us. The picture was nice; we were both looking at each other smiling. I had no idea how he could've gotten ahold of the picture, or how he afforded to send the locket to me.

But I did as he asked and put it around my neck, checking my watch and confirming that I had to leave soon so I could be ready for the Reaping.

…

It angers me to no end that I had to miss today with her.

In fact, this whole stupid decision really pisses me off in general.

Why, oh why, did I think it was a good idea to cross the country just so I could have the money to send home? Why didn't I just keep doing what I was doing? Some nights I try to convince myself that it'll all be worth it in another year's time, but most of the time I just want to throw or punch something so I can release some of my anger.

But a full year is almost too long without her. I know that the PRA gives us a week or two off after the Hunger Games, mainly so they can bring in the new recruits, and it gives me an energy boost to know that I can see her again really soon.

Our quarters given to us are small and a little on the gray side, but it doesn't really bother me. We wake up every morning before the sun rises and quickly get in a workout, then it's showers, breakfast, four hours of classes, lunch, an hour of shooting, an hour of combat, and an hour of the History of Panem. Two hours of downtime, dinner, and another class on the Laws of Panem. It's a boring life, but I start excelling in what I'm doing, and I know that it earns me more money that way.

I've made a few friends in the last year that I've been here, and they've all been from outlying districts. They're nice, but our conversations barely stray over the superficial, and I know neither of them want to get personal with me. I've only made one real enemy, but he's from district 2, his name is Cato or some shit. He's a little fuck and I hate him.

But I think what I hate the most about this whole damn place is how happy everybody is to be the Capitol's lapdogs. No one really knows what it's like in the poorer districts, and none of them really give damn either. Their stomachs are full, their beds are warm, and that's really all they care about.

Like when all the bullshit for the reapings started. We had a debate in one of our classes over it, and all the lapdog kids kept talking about what an honor it was to be in the Hunger Games. I was the only one who opposed them, and I'm sure I made more than a few enemies when I explained what life was like in the poor districts like mine.

But today's the reaping, and as I "feast" on my meager breakfast, I wonder if Katniss's locket has gotten to her yet. I took such great pains in making sure the letter was going to be there on time, so it's going to really piss me off if I happen to see her in the crowd tonight and she's not wearing it.

If vaguely passes my mind that she might get chosen, but I shove the thought away. I'm making more than enough money with the Peacekeeper's scholarship and my Capitol Allowance that I can support her family too, but I'm not sure I could go through the mental and emotional stress of having to watch her fight for her life. It also occurs to me that I might get reaped too, but the idea of killing people and returning home to 12 are kind of welcoming at the moment, so I push away that thought too.

We are excused from the day's classes, so all the Peacekeepers in training start to head for the Justice Building. District 2 is so much different than 12 even in just the square. From my History of Panem class, I know that all the districts were designed with the same plans, so they would all look the same and be equal, but from being in two different districts, I can tell that 2's entire district is nicer than 12's.

As we file into our spots in the square, I notice that the Capitol escort for this district isn't as eccentric as Effie Trinket. She still has the Capitol accent when she speaks, but instead of bright eyelashes and lips and hair, hers is more moderate in color. She wears a green pencil skirt and matching jacket, with a big white flower on it. It's definitely a Capitol fashion, but it actually looks nice on her. She introduces herself as Rysalee Mentow, but I don't really pay attention. She doesn't have the signature line like Effie Trinket does, and I don't have Katniss across the square to make fun of her with.

Rysalee starts to show the standard video from the Capitol that is played at every reaping across the country. I already have the damn thing memorized, so I zone out and begin planning what I'm going to say about this place in my next letter to Katniss. All the sudden I hear, "And the male tribute for district 2 this year is, Gale Hawthorne!"

Gale Hawthorne? Wait, that's my name.

Fuck.

The boys around me start to disperse, as if I have the plague and they'll catch it just by looking at me. I look up to the screens and notice that every camera is focused on me. And I have to make an impression.

I start to make my way to the stage, head high, showing no fear, just as I would want Katniss or Rory to do if they were picked. Just as I reach the stage I start to wonder why no one volunteered, isn't that what this district is famous for? But then I catch Cato's eye, and he smirks at me. The little bastard isn't letting any of his friends volunteer just because I'm from a poorer district. He thinks I'm going to make an idiot of myself because my district is poor.

I smirk, the joke is clearly on him.

Rysalee draws my district partner, a dangerous looking girl named Clove. We shake hands and she smiles at me, clearly trying to intimidate me. I smile back, and I wink, just where I know she can see it. She narrows her eyes and the corners of her mouth turn down as she jerks away from my handshake.

_Good,_ I think. _Maybe I've already gotten under her skin._

Rysalee escorts us to the Justice Building, where friends and family can come to say their last goodbyes. Since my family is back in 12 and probably doesn't even know I've been reaped yet, the only person to visit me is my Captain. He sits down quietly in the chair and clearly doesn't know what to say.

"Can you just call my family tonight? Before they televise the reapings?" I ask him.

He nods, "Anybody else you want me to call?"

The Captain and I haven't been very close, but all of the kids who aren't from district 2 are called in for a weekly evaluation with him. It's basically just a bitch session where I complain about how much I miss Katniss and he listens patiently. So when he asks, I know he means her.

"Yeah, Cap," I say. "Call my girl. Tell her I love her, please."

The Captain nods and then stands so he can escort me to the train that I'll be riding to the Capitol on. I ask him to make arrangements that my entire Capitol allowance be sent home until I come back, he agrees and gets back to his explanation about the trains. He explains it's just a two hour ride, so I'll be in the Training Center before they air the reapings tonight. "You're lucky," he says, "The trains from 10, 11, and 12 usually don't get there until almost late at night."

I guess I should consider myself kind of lucky, but I honestly don't. When I get on the train Clove is sitting on the couch with what I assume to be our mentors. The three of them make a mean looking picture, and I automatically decide that I don't really care for any of them. The blonde haired woman introduces herself as Enobaria, and the dark haired, broad shouldered man shakes my hand and says his name is Brutus. I try to hide my disgust at the stupid names people give their children, and tell them that my name is Gale.

Enobaria smiles, showing every tooth in her mouth, "Your fellow tribute here was telling us that you aren't originally from district 2?" she purrs a little when she talks, and I can't tell if it's on purpose or if it's just naturally like that. But I sit down on the couch and try to get acquainted with my mentors.

"No ma'am. I'm originally from district 12."

"12?" Brutus questions, "Such an odd place to be from. Where you in the PRA?" I nod, and I can see Clove's eyes get wider and I can tell she's impressed, but Brutus continues, "That's good. If I hadn't won the Games that's where I would have gone."

Enobaria takes the spotlight from him again as she tries to casually grab my arm, "We will be arriving in the Capitol shortly. You'll be shown to your rooms and have the opportunity to shower and do whatever you like. They'll be showing the reapings from other districts at 7 pm sharp, and we will expect you to eat with us at that time so we can discuss who to watch out for and things like that." Clove sees this as an opportunity of escape and stands up to head to her room. "Goodbye, dears!" Enobaria calls to us.

I take the opportunity to leave and almost go sprinting headlong into my bedroom. Enobaria creeps me out, and it bothers me that she is going to be responsible for all of my sponsorship money and as well as guiding me into what I'm supposed to do. But I still don't like her or Brutus.

I go to reach for my doorknob when Clove grabs my hand. "Where do you think you're going, handsome?"

All I can do is roll my eyes and try to hide my disgusted look, "What do you want?"

Clove starts to pout, "Just some alone time, I guess. I mean, you _did _wink at me in the square and all…"

"Sorry. I was trying to intimidate you. It obviously had the opposite effect. I didn't grow up in a place where being a tribute is a good thing, and I also didn't get to say goodbye to my family today. So if it's okay with you, I'd like to be alone." And I go into my room and shut the door on my face.

My mentor and my district partner throwing themselves at me, both within an hour of each other.

Seriously, what the hell is going on with these girls in district 2?

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A/N: Anon Reviews:

Jeanell: Thank you so much for reading this one and my other stories! it really makes me happy to have someone say that! But i really hope i don't disappoint you :)

Guest: THANK YOU! Your enthusiasm really makes me happy, lol. but i can't take credit for the concept, someone sent it to me and just asked me to write it :P


	4. Unexpected

**Expectation is the root of all heartache.  
—William Shakespeare**

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I stayed in my room until someone came to tell me we'd reached the Capitol, so I groan and throw on some nicer clothes to greet the people in. Brutus comes into my room and inspects me, smiling, "You're going to drive the Capitol girls crazy, you know."

I just shake my head, "I certainly hope not."

"No, no, no," Brutus says. "That's a good thing. Get these girls to fall in love with you, then they'll be begging Daddy to send you money for sponsorships."

He's right, and I know he's right. "How do I get them to fall in love with me?"

Brutus smiles, "Wave at them, and smile at each and every one as if you're smiling at your girl from back home. You'll see them all as soon as you get off the train. Big smile, lots of waves, hell, blow some kisses while you're at it."

When the train finally comes to a stop and Clove and I are expected to walk through the crowds of expectant Capitolites, I catch myself starting to frown. Who are these people that they would get so excited to watching people fight to the _death_? But as the doors of the train open, I put on my best mask and pretend that I'm smiling to Katniss.

I wave, I blow kisses, and I try to imagine each girl as if they were my Catnip. So instead of a big hearty smile, I end up smirking at most of them, which makes them scream louder.

Clove, not liking the attention I'm getting, starts to do whatever is necessary for her to get some screams too, but the men of the crowd don't make as much noise as the women, so when we finally get to the Training Center, Clove has a frown on her pig-like face.

Rysalee, Enobaria, and Brutus show us each around out suite on the second floor and drop us to our rooms. Since it was only 4:00, I decided to go straight to my room and shower and get ready for dinner that night. It was nice to let the burning hot water cascade down my back and wash away the stress I was feeling. It hadn't really hit me yet that I was going to be fighting to the death in a few days, but I knew that as long as I avoided the thought—the better. I did wonder who I would be fighting against, but the thought wasn't really all that pressing. I fiddled with all the fancy buttons on my shower, spending at least an hour messing with them till I found a setting I liked. I remembered the buttons that resulted in the hot water to make it easier for the next shower I took.

I stepped out of the shower and pressed a button that instantly dried me, and another that sent a shock through my hair, drying and untangling what little of it there was. District 2 was pretty fancy, but we didn't have anything that was _this_ fancy. At 6:45, I knew I couldn't really put it off any longer, so I finished getting dressed and headed to the main room, where Rysalee, Enobaria, Brutus, and Clove were watching the televised airings of the Hunger Games from years past. Since the reapings were about to play in 15 minutes, I wondered where Katniss was, what she was doing and what she was feeling.

Did she miss me? Surely she did.

Was she worried about me? Surely she was.

I sat at the dinner table and Enobaria immediately came to my side, wondering where I've been all these hours. A man and a woman present us with our food, and I start to wonder why they're working for the Capitol, here of all places, but I decide to keep my mouth shut and begin eating the steak in front of me. Partially because I haven't eaten all day and it looks fantastic, and partially because I don't really want to speak to Enobaria at all.

Before long, Caesar Flickerman comes on the television and begins introducing the 74th annual Hunger Games, and talks about what an exciting year it's going to be. "We have a volunteer tribute from an outlying district, what a wonderful thing! And a district who normally has volunteers everywhere gone silent! Stay tuned, folks!"

Yeah, as if anyone had a choice in the matter.

Brutus, Enobaria, Rysalee, and Clove begin talking about something that doesn't really interest me, but as soon as Caesar comes back on, they are all ears in anticipation of who they'll be fighting to the death this year.

"You know," I catch Enobaria saying, "We get to see these Reapings 30 minutes before the people on the train!" I don't really care, but to my surprise (and glee) no one comments on it and concentrates on the television.

District one doesn't surprise me enough to intimidate me, although Clove says she would like to make an alliance with the boy, I just ignore her and keep eating.

The district two showings surprise me, because I look much more confident than I felt, and I hope Katniss realizes as she watches from home that I was being fearless, just for her. I briefly catch myself wishing she was with me, but I squash the feeling, because she's much safer at home.

I try not to pay attention to most of the showings, only looking up when someone comments that a tribute looks "dangerous" or like a "weakling." When it comes to district 12, I have to fight hard to make it look as if I am uninterested, but really I'm dying on the inside.

_Which of my friends am I going to have to kill to make it home?_

The thought starts to haunt me, and I'm glad Katniss will be at home feeding my family. Although I arranged to send my entire allowance and scholarship home, I'm constantly worried that it won't get here in time or like it's supposed to, and my family will starve.

Back on the screen, Effie Trinket, clad in bright pink this year, crosses the stage and puts her hand into the bowl. I can feel a knot tie itself in the bottom of my stomach, and I start imagining if I could possibly kill someone like Madge Undersee. But instead of every single name I can think of, Effie says, "Primrose Everdeen," as if it's just another name. And to her, it probably is. But to me, it's as if the entire world has come crashing down with just one slip of paper.

"No… No, oh my God, _no Katniss!_" I can hear myself screaming, but it doesn't seem to matter, because the Katniss on the screen screams louder than I do that she volunteers as tribute, pulling her sister back to her mother so she can head to the stage, clutching the locket I bought her. I can feel the stares of Clove and my mentors, but I don't care. I can't say anything except, "She volunteered. She volunteered," over and over and over.

It barely registers with me that Peeta Mellark is being sent in with her, that idiot that's in love with her.

Katniss, my Katniss. She is headed into the Games. With me.

And because of the delay in the tape, she probably doesn't even know that it's me she's going to have to kill in order to come home. Brutus interrupts my thoughts, stops my world from falling apart, "Do you know her, son?"

I can't even look at him, "She's my best friend. I was going to marry her when I retired from the Peacekeepers."

A heavy silence falls on the group. Has something like this ever happened before? A guy being sent in with his best friend, even though she's in another district? No, surely not. Surely this kind of thing is unprecedented. Could they change the rules? No best friends go in with you?

Of course not, because it adds to the fucking drama of the entire thing. It gets them viewers and sponsors, and that's all they fucking care about.

"Do you love her?" Clove asks.

All I can do is nod. What a silly question, would I really be going to pieces like this if I didn't? Brutus just starts to laugh, and quickly stops whenever I glare at him, "What's so damned funny?"

He just smiles, "Enobaria, we can sell that."

I can hear her laugh at him, "Star crossed lovers, brought apart by terrible circumstances, brought back together by the Hunger Games… You're right, Brutus. We can."

I get up from the table, unable to listen to any more of what they're saying. I can feel Clove staring daggers into my back, but I just don't care anymore. I do know one thing, because I've already made up my mind. Katniss Everdeen will be the Victor this year, if I have to kill every tribute myself and then slice my own throat to make it happen, _she will come home_.

…

I decide early on that trains aren't really something I like. The thought of a whole carriage moving at almost 200 mph isn't something that sits well with me.

Like the thought of going into the Hunger Games. I briefly wonder what Gale's going to say when he finds out what I've done, but he'll come home after the games are over anyway. He can feed them and make sure they're okay in case something happens to me.

Gale's going to kill me when he watches the reapings. But I can't really think about that now, because there are 23 other tributes who would love to beat him to the opportunity to kill me with their bare hands.

Haymitch hasn't said much, but he and Peeta have already gotten into some type of scuffle over Haymitch's willingness to help us, not that I really care. All he can do is tell us what we should say in our interviews, he's not exactly going to be next to me in the arena, telling me when to kill a tribute.

I basically sit in my room of the train until I know it's time to come out and watch the Reapings. Effie tells us that, since we're on the train, we're 30 minutes behind, but assures us that we're going to get the same impact as everyone else.

Like I really care.

District one has a guy who looks kind of big, and I suppose that I should watch out for, but I can't really find it in me to see him as a threat. The girl from district 2 looks downright _mean_ and I figure she probably has some big and favorite weapon that she's going to use.

They announce the drawing for the boys, and I catch myself wondering if Gale is really as safe as he thought he thought he was. The woman pulls out a slip and announces, "Gale Hawthorne" very loudly to the square. Three sets of eyes turn back to look at me, but I can't even find it in me to scream. I just sit there, mesmerized by the woman on stage who just called Gale's name. Gale Hawthorne? That is his name right? I am thinking of the same person, aren't I? I must be, because that's _my_ Gale striding to the stage with his head held high. But even after all this time, I know him better than anyone, and I know that he's faking. He's slowly crumbling.

I wonder if he was thinking of me.

Peeta tries to scoot closer to me and grab my hand, but I just shake him off more violently than I intended and turn to Haymitch, pleading with him, "Can we save him? Please."

"Save him? Are you kidding me, sweetheart? He's not even my tribute!"

My eyes fill with tears, "I can't kill him Haymitch."

Peeta tries to speak up, "But I—"

"And I'll never fucking forgive anyone that does."

"Looks like you have a real problem, sweetheart," Haymitch laughs.

I start to glare at him and turn to Effie, "When can I see him?"

"Another tribute?" Effie asks in surprise, "Oh Katniss that's completely out of the question."

I narrow my eyes at her and lean in closer, "I'm perfectly serious. When, can, I, see, Gale."

She avoids my eyes and I can see her try to think of a way that it could work, "Where is he from? 2? Rysalee is one of my friends, I'll see if I can arrange a meeting for when we arrive to the Capitol tonight. But you mustn't tell _anyone_, Katniss. It's against the rules."

But I don't even pay attention. Soon I'll see Gale, he'll know what to do.

"Is this really a good idea, Katniss?" Peeta asks me under his breath after Haymitch and Effie have turned back to the Reapings.

I glare at him, "Why do you care?"

"It's been a year, you don't know what kind of person he's turned into. He could be just like any other guy from District 2."

He starts to annoy me, so my tone gets more and more clipped, "Shut up, Peeta. You didn't even know Gale to begin with."

"Oh yeah?" He half yells, standing up to face me. "I know all about him with every merchant girl in the district, did you? I know he slept around so much that he almost got Macy Hennington pregnant, and that he earned himself a great nickname. Did you know that, Katniss? Do you know him as well as you think?"

"I know he loves me!" I scream back.

"_How_?" Peeta screams, "How could you possibly know what he's been doing for the last year, just because he tells you he loves you in letters?"

I narrow my eyes at him, swelling with anger, "Because I trust him, Peeta. I trust him and I love him too. I'm going to do everything I can to bring him home, and you can't stop me. Effie, let me know when I can see Gale, please."

And I turned on my heels, heading to my room and slamming the door before collapsing on the bed, suddenly filled with the dread of what Gale could've possibly been doing for the last year.


	5. I Missed You

A/N: I know i'm posting all of these chapters kind of quickly, but once i get one written i just can't stand to keep you guys in suspense any longer! So here you go :)

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**Friendship is Love, without his wings.  
~Lord Byron**

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I was a little more than surprised whenever Rysalee knocked on my door and said I had a visitor. Looking at the alarm clock beside my bed and realizing it was close to midnight only added to the confusion. She must have sensed my hesitation, because she just politely said, "It's not a meeting you're going to want to miss."

So I got up and put on the robe and slippers beside my bed and followed her into the hallway. She led me to the elevator and pressed the button with a number 12 on it. I knew that each district's tributes had an entire floor to themselves, but I didn't really know if they were assigned chronologically or not.

Just before we reached the 12th floor, Rysalee turned to me. "If you tell anyone that I let you do this, we're both dead, do you understand me? I'm only doing this as a favor to Effie, because we've been friends for such a long time."

Effie? What the hell? But I just nod and let her lead me through the doors and down another hallway that looked similar to mine on the second floor. Rysalee knocks on a door and I hear someone call, "I'm coming." To my surprise, a breathless and red faced Katniss opens the door, looking as if she's been crying for the past few hours.

She surrenders herself to my open arms, and it's like the last year seems to have disappeared. Nothing matters but holding her in my arms and nothing compares to the feeling of having her close to me. When I look up, I realize Rysalee has gone and shut the door behind her, but Katniss just leads me to the bed. She sits, and suddenly I am struck by how badly I want to kiss her and tell her how much I've missed her every day since I left.

But I remind myself that this isn't the time, so I just settle for holding her hand and smiling at her, "Hey, Catnip."

She smiles back as if I've just given her the best present in the world, "Hello Gale."

"We're in quite the predicament, my friend," I say as I lay back on the bed.

Katniss smiles down at me before laying on my chest. I put my arms around her and let her listen to the sound of my heartbeat for a few minutes before she asks, "What are we going to do about it?"

I shrug, "You're going home, Catnip."

She sits up on her elbows so she can see my face, "No, Gale. You are."

"Katniss I'm not arguing about this with you. Can't we just enjoy each other's company until I have to go back downstairs?" She frowns, and I can tell she's about to say something smart assed, so I silence her comeback with a kiss. She just giggles and lays her head on my chest, content for a few minutes. But she is Katniss Everdeen, the girl who can't stay quiet for more than a few minutes at a time in my presence. She sits back up so she's facing me again.

"Did you see any girls while you were in district 2?" She asks, and I can tell by her face that she's perfectly serious.

"Excuse me?" I say, a little shocked and hurt that she would accuse me of such a thing. "No, Katniss. Don't be stupid. I wouldn't do anything with anyone else if I knew you were waiting for me."

She accepts my answer and looks away, thinking of how to phrase her next one, "What about girls in our district?"

I groan, this wasn't a conversation I ever wanted to have with her, especially not here in the Capitol. But I guess it's all going to come to light sometime, so I might as well get it over with. "Before I realized I wanted you, I slept around. A lot. Is that what you wanted to hear?" I probe her.

She just shakes her head, "Did you sleep with Macy Hennington?"

"Where the hell is this coming from, Katniss?"

"Just answer the question, Gale."

I sigh, "Yes. We thought she was pregnant for a few weeks, but she wasn't. I used as many girls as I could until I realized I wanted you, and then I stopped. I haven't kissed anyone since that day at the train station when I kissed you goodbye. Is that enough? Did I pass the interrogation?"

Katniss smiles at me, her look says _yes_, and she reaches down to kiss me before lying on my chest again. And we stay that way until Effie comes back and tells me that it's time for me to go. I get up from the bed and kiss Katniss goodnight, assuring her that I would see her tomorrow during the opening ceremonies.

As I walk down the hallway with Effie, we see an already drunk Haymitch, leaning on the bar and laughing at something that probably only made sense to him. "Where're you goin', loverboy?" he slurs.

"Back to bed," I snap. "Maybe you should make yourself useful instead of trying to see how fast you can drain a bottle."

He smiles a big toothy grin at me, "Boy, make sure you come back up here before the final interviews, I have a plan for you," he says before crashing down on the bar.

_That's fine, because I have a plan for me too_, I think.

Effie mumbles ahead of me, something about "improper" and we "should know better." She escorts me to the elevator and presses the button for me, "Gale, I'm serious. No one can know that you saw her tonight."

I nod and try to enter the elevator again, but Effie stops me. "If you want to see her again, meet on the roof of the Training Center. No one knows about it." I smile and nod, thankful for the tip.

"Can you tell her to meet me up there after the opening ceremonies tomorrow?" Effie smiles and nods, and (finally) lets the door close so I can go back to my own floor.

As I go to reach for the door that opens the second floor suite, I hear voices. I pause, hoping that it isn't some type of Peacekeeper who knows I was with Katniss. I put an ear to the door, almost thankful to hear Enobaria's hushed whispers as opposed to someone more powerful.

"What, you want to go ahead and pick the boy over Clove?" she whispered.

"I'm just saying," Brutus replied. "I've already got their backstory from Abernathy. It'll be too easy to do this and get them both sponsors."

"He's not even a career," Enobaria seethed.

Brutus sighed, "What's more important, district loyalties or getting an innocent kid home?"

"Fine. I'll do what I can to help Clove, you can help Gale," she spits.

I wait until I hear her feet stomp down the hallway before I open the door. Brutus sits on the couch, watching recaps of the Reapings and taking notes. He motions for me to sit down, and I can only assume he wants to talk strategy.

"Where were you?" He asks.

I shrug, "What does it matter?"

He laughs, "I'm not going to tell on you, I know you were seeing her. And I can't say I blame you. She's very pretty, Gale."

I like hearing Katniss be complimented, so I smile back in response. Brutus continues, "Abernathy called us earlier, said you two had history. Want to elaborate?"

"What does it matter?" I ask again.

Brutus takes off his glasses and sets his notebook on the couch beside him, "Son, I'm trying to help you here. I know you want to bring her home, and I'm trying to think of a strategy to do that. So I need you to tell me everything that goes on between the two of you. Start from the beginning, how did you meet?"

"Our fathers were both killed in the same mining accident. That's how we became friends." But really it's not. We met in the woods, but we aren't supposed to be hunting anyway, so I figure a little white lie won't really hurt anything. Brutus nods and picks up his notebook so he can take notes, so I continue, "She was my best friend for four years. The two of us did everything we could to feed our families together and we always split everything we got right down the middle."

"I like that," Brutus comments.

I shrug, "It was based on mutual need, but it grew into something beautiful. We're like two halves of the same person. I can read her face at any time and tell you exactly what she's thinking and she can do the same for me. Anyway, about six months before she turned fifteen, one of the guys we knew was flirting with her, and I just realized that I minded, and it annoyed me. Eventually I realized that I actually had feelings for her."

"Just before the reaping of my 17th year, the PRA came and made me an offer I couldn't refuse. So I've been gone a year, doing my best to feed both our families while she's been at home. Tonight was the first time we've seen each other since I left."

Brutus smiles, "Go on to sleep, Gale. I'll give you your instructions for the Parade tomorrow during breakfast."

I walk down the hall and put myself to sleep. I rest easy, knowing that Katniss is safe and I will be the one to protect her. But of course, my easy sleep doesn't last long. Soon the nightmares start.

I see Katniss running through the woods, but it's not an arena, these woods belong to district 12. She's running as fast as she can, her bow slung over her back with her quivers. I don't know what's chasing us, but I know it's not something that I want to waste my time looking back to see. All I can tell her is to keep running, to run faster, to outrun this beast. She's scared, and she keeps trying to look back to make sure I'm behind her.

As we run, she trips, her foot caught in a root of a tree. "Go, Gale! _Leave me_! You'll be the Victor!"

I try to pull her up, but soon the root engulfs me too, and all the while Katniss is begging for me to kill her, to leave her, to save myself.

But the beast is upon us, and it's not a normal beast. It's Peeta, but not a normal Peeta. His body is distorted to the point where his muscles almost engulf him, and he has grown to where he's almost 10 feet taller than me, he just screams at us, and reaches down to pick me up.

And then I wake up.

I roll over and look at the clock next to my bed, realizing it's 8 in the damn morning. Shit. I slept a lot later than normal.

So I pick up a towel from the cabinet and head for the shower, remembering the right buttons to get a steady stream of hot water and some soap. I let the water hit my face, trying to shake off the terrible dream but failing miserably. I remind myself that I'll get to see her tonight, and Effie is supposed to tell her to meet me up on the roof, and that calms me down a little bit.

I towel off and use the electric-shock-thingy to dry my hair before dressing in jeans and a button up in my closet. I walk out to the dining room and see that only Enobaria and Brutus wait for me. "Clove already gone?" I ask.

They shake their heads and point to her room, as if to say that she's still asleep. Which is perfectly fine with me, 'cause I know that she's trying to start something that isn't there, and I have no intentions of being with her, period.

After I fill my plate with eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuits and gravy, I sit next to Brutus, trying to put as much distance between Enobaria and myself as possible. Brutus, having already been done with his breakfast, is going over his notes, while Enobaria contents herself with some type of grapefruit.

"Today is the tribute parade," Brutus begins.

"You're going to want to do everything your stylists tell you to," Enobaria finishes. "You're plenty attractive, and that will become clearer in the interviews, but you're just going to have to smile and wave, okay dear?"

I nod, but I have to force myself to keep my breakfast down—I hate that woman when she calls me 'dear.'

Clove soon comes to breakfast with less than a smile on her face. Brutus repeats the same speech to her and mentions to Enobaria that the two of them are going to have to leave soon.

"Why her and not me?" I ask.

"Because girls take longer to doll up than boys do, dear," Enobaria answers. She makes my skin crawl, but she takes Clove and they head to the elevator so they can go downstairs. Brutus looks at me, "I doubt we're going to get another moment alone, so we need to talk about this now."

"What's that?" I ask, with my mouth still full of food.

"The rest of the career pack is going to offer you an alliance, either tonight at the parade or during training tomorrow."

I ball my fists up on the table, "I'm not joining them."

Brutus smiles, "I know. And I don't want you to, I just want you to _act_ like you are." I raise my brow at him, a little confused, so he goes on, "I want you to be all buddied up with the Careers all through training, because I've seen the tributes this year, and they're all going to rely on _you_ as a leader. Then when the games start, you can take off with the girl from 12. You'll leave them scattered, confused, and leaderless."

Holy shit. Brutus is a damn genius.

"That's brilliant," I admit. A little reluctantly, but the man deserves it. That's possibly the best strategy I've ever heard

Brutus laughs, "I spent all night thinking of it. But now it's your turn to go get dolled up. Just do what you did yesterday when you came off the train, okay?" I nod, and without another word he leads me down the elevator and into the arms of my stylist.

* * *

guest: aw, i'm really sorry you feel that way about Gale, but i think it's necessary to show that he gave up all the other girls just because he wanted Katniss. I didn't want him to come off as a complete manwhore, but i did want to convey that he was a little promiscuous.


	6. Impression

_Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. ~Confucius_

* * *

Is this some form of torture they've started using in the Capitol? I've been down here for hours and all they've managed to do is wash me, pluck every hair off my body, and make me smell good.

I like my stylist, whatever her name is, but she's definitely from the Capitol. Bright eyelashes, lips, eyebrows, and horrible gold tattoos all over her face. But I do as Brutus told me to and I dress in the golden armor she places out for me. It makes me look like a gladiator, which is something I've only seen in some of my dad's old books. She fits the giant helmet on me and tells me just how perfect it looks. I look into the mirror next to the door and realize that it actually does a great job outlining the shape of my muscles, most of them from the hard work of 12, but recently I've developed a lot more tone from working out in the PRA weight room.

The golden armor down my chest seems more painted on because it's so tight, but it highlights by abdomen, my pectoral muscles, and everthing in between. It kills me to say it, but I look kind of hot. Maybe it'll get me sponsors.

I get the okay from the stylist and head to the door to find Rysalee and Clove so I can see where I'm supposed to be for the parade. But just as I reach for the handle, the male tribute from 1 (I think his name was Marvel?) stops me. "You're district 2's tribute, right?" I nod, trying to look over his shoulder for Katniss so I can see her before the parade.

"I'm Marvel, from one. We want you to join our pack."

I roll my eyes, "Isn't the career pack a given anyway?"

Marvel smiles, "Yes, but I have to ask, regardless. I'm in, my district partner," he gestures to the blonde girl next to him who reaches out to touch my bare bicep, "Glimmer is in, both from three and both from four are in. We're asking your district partner next."

I nod, trying to shake Glimmer off, and I remember something from the reapings yesterday, "What about the boy from 11? We should ask him too."

Marvel opens his mouth to say something, but I remember Brutus's advice about taking control and cut him off, "Do you think that's a _bad_ idea, Marvel?"

He shakes his head, "No, Glimmer will ask him after we ask Clove." I nod, dismissing them.

Looking out over the tributes getting into their carriages, I smile. This is going to be too easy. But finding Katniss isn't. Rysalee finds me and motions for me to hurry up, so I make my way through the crowd and into my chariot. Clove is all smiles for me in her matching outfit, and I try my hardest to appear interested. She leans in close to me, "Did Marvel and Glimmer talk to you?"

"Yes," I reply.

"Did you accept?"

I look at her like she's crazy, "Are you stupid? Of course I accepted."

She relaxes a little, "Okay, good. Because I told them I didn't want in unless you were."

The chariot starts moving forward, so I take the opportunity to not answer Clove. Instead, I put on my biggest smile and wave as the crowd goes crazy seeing us. I blow kisses and wave and smile as if I'm looking directly at Posy at home. It works, because I notice that Clove and I are featured on the huge TV's above the crowds, so I wave with even more finesse.

But the crowd turns silent for a few moments before cheering in an ear-splitting, thundering roar. Clove looks at me with confusion, and we look back up at the TV's to see Katniss and Peeta, _on fire_?

"What the hell is going on?" Clove whispers.

But I barely hear her, because I'm caught up in just how beautiful my Katniss looks.

We stop in front of the President and he makes his speech, but the whole time he's talking I'm just looking down the line of tributes, hoping to catch another glance of her. She's intoxicating, and I'm so happy that I could probably kiss her stylist. I look at the stadium around us, and _everyone_ is staring at Katniss and Peeta, even the other tributes. As we start to pull away, their carriage goes first, and I see Peeta grab Katniss's hand and hold it above their heads. She gives a horrified look at first and I can see her eyes searching for me, but then when her eyes lock on mine, she tries to hide with a forced smile. Her eyes asking me _what do I do?_

I shrug back at her, _what can you do?_

But the crowd loves their hand holding, getting even louder than they were earlier, just eating it up.

Fuck.

By the time we get back to the training center, Clove is staring daggers at everyone around her and screaming at anyone who dares try to talk to her. An unlucky thirteen year old girl from district 5 happens to get in her way at the wrong time but Clove just responded by looking the girl in the eye and saying she would be the first one that she killed once they got in the arena.

"Calm the hell down, Clove," I say, with the beginning of the Career pack around me. I look at the five of them, all pissed because Katniss stole the show from them. I smirk, "So she stole the spotlight, who gives a shit? All that sponsorship money isn't going to help any of them once we get in the arena. Just calm down and shut the hell up."

The five kids calm down, and I turn around to find Peeta behind me, "Spoken like a true career, Hawthorne. Did district 2 really change you that much?"

I look over my shoulder to see Marvel studying my every mood, "Just trying to get the fuck home, Mellark." I go to walk past him and bump his shoulder, "You better watch yourself once we get to the arena." The other five Careers follow me, and I hope that I was enough of an asshole to convince them that I'm truly with them. Brutus's plan _will_ work as long as I sell it to everyone until the Games start.

…

The rooftop is silent, which is exactly what I need after the night I've had tonight. It was nice to have people chanting my name, and I think Peeta and I played it up enough, but it was _after _the parade that really pissed me off.

When Gale started shushing all the careers like he was their leader, I nudged Haymitch's elbow so he could see what was going on. But instead of watching like the two of us, Peeta decided he had better go say something just to get Gale riled up. Gale already doesn't like him—he never has—but why would you want to provoke someone like Gale?

But once Gale started speaking to them, I knew it was an act. I know him better than anyone on in Panem—Gale was up to something. I didn't know what good it would do to become the head of the Career alliance, but Gale had a reason, so I trusted him and stayed back to watch the action.

But then fucking Peeta had to say something. It ended up working in Gale's favor, because it gave him a chance to prove himself as a Career asshole, but he still wasn't fooling me. He walked past me with the Careers behind him and winked at me, to let me know that it was all a show just in case I was lost. The other careers were glaring, but Gale was smirking and having fun with his new position.

Oh, well. I knew he'd explain whenever he got to the roof, so as soon as we got back to our suite, I went straight to my room to take off my costume, put on some comfortable clothes, and headed to the rooftop.

The door starts to open, and I catch myself holding my breath, just hoping that it's him. When it does fully open, he walks out in the moonlight, his smile dazzling and bright, "Hey Catnip."

I giggle at him, "Hi, Gale. Mind telling me what the hell you think you're doing getting in with the careers?"

"Brutus thought they'd look to me as a leader, so I'm going to pretend to be in with them until the Games start, then I'm going to slip off with you and leave them scattered."

"Brutus thought of that?" What the hell? I thought he was one of the lapdogs who won his games on pure brute force. But Gale just nods and takes my hand.

"Has Haymitch given you any advice for the training tomorrow?"

I nod my head, "He said he would give me more in the morning, but just basically to hide my skills until the private session. But I'm guessing you're not going to be particularly nice to me?"

"Not really. I _am_ going to feed them a bunch of bullshit about your talents, though," he answers, and I'm not really surprised.

"What are you going to do about your own talents?"

He sits for a moment, thinking about what exactly he's going to do, "Not sure. Probably just lift some weights, shoot a bow for a little bit."

"A bow?" I exclaim. "Gale, you can't show them how good you are with a bow."

"Why not, Catnip?"

"You aren't supposed to show your skills, Gale. It'll just mean the careers will you're your strengths."

He shrugs; as if it's not a game of life-or-death we're playing. To Gale, this doesn't mean anything more than a walk through the woods does. "You're ridiculous," I say.

He just smiles because he knows that it's true, "Peeta still pissed at me?"

I nod, "Yeah, all he could talk about was what an asshole you are and how I should forget you."

"Figures. You know," Gale says, "I really hate that guy."

I giggle, "I'm starting not to like him." An uncomfortable silence sits between us, so I ask the most basic question, "Do you think we can do it, Gale?"

He smiles, and I can see the purple tint under his eyes. He has suddenly gone from the happy-go-lucky eighteen year old to a worn down forty year old before my eyes, "There's no _we,_ Katniss. _You _are coming home. And that's final."

"You know I won't be able to kill you, Gale," I spit. "Have you gotten that far in your plan yet?"

He smiles and kisses my cheek, "It'll all work out, Catnip. I promise." Gale looks at his watch and announces that it's gotten late. "As much as I don't want to leave you, it's time to get your rest, Catnip. You have people to impress tomorrow," he says with a smirk.

I put my arms around his waist and pull him close to me, standing on my tip toes to gently kiss him, "Goodnight, Gale."

He kisses back and follows me to the elevator, smacking me playfully in the butt, earning a glare. "Goodnight, Catnip.

…

Effie comes bursting into my room, waking me up and announcing that it's going to be a "big, big, big day" so I should get up and come down to breakfast. I put on clean clothes and head to the big table where Peeta and Haymitch wait for me, plates already full with a good breakfast. I load up on something I don't have a name for and sit down next to them.

Per usual, Peeta has already started talking about Gale.

"We just can't trust him, Haymitch. We can't count on him as an ally."

"Yes we can," I interrupt.

Haymitch laughs and puts his flask to his mouth, taking a sip of what I'm assuming to be liquor. "How do you know that, sweetheart?"

I glare at the both of them, "It's staged. He's only pretending to be in their pack. He's going to jump ship as soon as the games start."

Peeta's mouth turns to a frown, while Haymitch is smiling like a kid on Christmas, "That's brilliant. The careers already follow him around as if he's the leader. That'll leave them without any guidance. It's perfect."

The two of them start to talk strategy, so I just busy myself with my breakfast and try hard not to pay attention. It works really well until Effie comes in screaming that we're going to be late if we don't hurry.

We rush down the elevator and to the lobby, but we're the second set of tributes to arrive, right behind district 11. The older boy looks mean and intimidating, but the girl reminds me of…Prim. Although her hair is darker and she looks more scared, she reminds me exactly of Prim.

And I realize I want to protect her. Just like Prim.

The elevator opens behind us, and I can feel Peeta turn around to see who it is, so I turn with him to see Gale leading the career pack into the lobby. Since none of the Careers can see him, he winks at me before leading them downstairs to the training room. I nod to Peeta, and we follow them.

The room in front of us is massive. There are stations for every kind of weapon practice that I can think of, as well as rope tying stations, edible plant stations, camouflage, fire starting, hand-to-hand combat, every single thing I could think of that might be helpful in the games. Peeta nudged me toward the rope tying, "Haymitch said to learn something we didn't already know, right?"

I nod and follow him. Rope tying was something Gale had taught me a little of with snares, so I just started making the basic ones and learned a few others. Every time I looked up, Gale was with the careers, doing some different type of weapon that I knew wasn't his weapon of choice.

He threw around some weight and threw a couple spears, every so often shooting me looks. When Clove stepped up to the knife throwing station, Gale looked at me, _watch this._

She never missed a mark. When Gale turned back to look at me I shrugged, _no big deal_. He just laughed and went back to his conversation with the tribute from district 1. When I turned back to Peeta to tell him about Clove's knife-throwing skill, he just cocked an eyebrow, "What the hell was that?"

"What do you mean?"

Peeta groaned, "That thing with Gale? That thing where you two can talk using only facial expressions? It's annoying as hell." He got up and walked to the edible plant station with a huff, catching Gale's eye. Gale slightly turned his face enough where I could see him while getting up to follow Peeta, _what's with him?_

_Just jealous._


	7. Uneasy

A/N: hope you're all having a safe and fun new year! i'll be travelling tomorrow, so expect more chapters :)

* * *

**This suspense is terrible, i hope it lasts. ~Oscar Wilde **

* * *

The next two days of training are really boring. The careers show off in every single weapon imaginable, ignoring the edible plants, snares, fire starting, or any other skill that _might_ come in handy while we're in the arena. But it's not like I'm encouraging them to try anything that'll actually help them. I already know what's good to eat, how to catch animals, and how to start fires, so the careers can kiss my ass.

I keep an eye on Katniss and Peeta, making sure that they visit the stations they need to without showing too many of their skills. Being able to communicate without words comes in handy, and often we have conversations across the room without anyone else realizing—except Peeta. His jealousy keeps growing, and it's honestly hilarious to me.

Towards the end of the second day of training, I decide that it's finally time for me to shoot a bow. I pick up one that is close to the size of my bow in 12 and a few arrows before stepping up to the archery range. I haven't let on to any of the alliance that I can shoot at all, so they all think I'm trying to learn and just go back to their business, only Glimmer decides to follow me, and she's been glued to one side of me all week. Clove's been glued to the other side and it's all I can stand not to tell them it's a joke and sit by Katniss. All in good time, I tell myself.

Glimmer selects a smaller bow and begins trying to shoot, but it's obvious that she doesn't know what she's doing. I take a deep breath and aim the arrow for the middle of the target and realize that the string is strung tighter than my bow at home. I draw back and release the arrow, just missing to the left, probably the result of the tighter string. I make a mental note to tell Katniss and look up to see that she's already watching me shoot. I wink at her and adjust my aim, hitting the bulls eye of the target.

I see Katniss grin out of the corner of my eye and go back to her camouflage, but Glimmer comes over next to me, touching my arms and begging for me to teach her. Internally, I groan, but she's supposed to be in my pack, so I deflect her. "No, Glimmer. I'm not a very good teacher, go ask one of the instructors."

She doesn't take my hint, and gets in between me and the stand for the bows, pressing her pelvis into me, "Maybe you could teach me something _else_?"

What the hell is with the girls here?

I shake my head and try to escape her grasp, but not before seeing Katniss and Peeta dying of laughter out of the corner of my eye. Figures. Glimmer just returns to Clove on a bench, pouting. Why would someone want to start a relationship with some guy they've barely met, who they're going to end up having to kill just to get home anyway? Makes no damn sense to me.

I decide to put away the weapons for a while, all I really wanted to see was if the bows shot any differently so I could tell Katniss for her private session tomorrow. All the rest of the careers are just trying to show off more, but I just decide to sit and observe. Thresh is the big guy from 11 who I told Marvel to recruit. He's told me that the guy refused (not that I really saw him joining the alliance anyway), and the only other guy they would consider asking is Peeta, but I went ahead and shut that one down. The last thing I need is Peeta Mellark telling everyone that I've been in love with Katniss for a year and a half.

"Hawthorne," Marvel says, "Private sessions are tomorrow, got any idea what you're going to do?"

I shake my head, "I haven't really thought about it yet, what about you?"

Marvel laughs, "Don't you know? We're in the Career pack. They'll give us a score anywhere from 8-10 just based on that fact. I could go in there and just sit for 10 minutes and come out with an 8."

"So the games are rigged?"

He shakes his head, "No, just the scores. I mean, they play to whoever has the most sponsorship money, but our pack is likely okay in that aspect too."

I just nod and let the comment go. It's nothing that I didn't think about anyway, but it just pisses me off to hear someone confirm it. Fucking lapdogs.

The woman comes out to tell us that the training sessions are over and that it's time to return to our floors until the private sessions are over. Brutus and Enobaria meet Clove and I in the lobby with big smiles. I catch Haymitch's eye from across the lobby, and he winks at me, which leads me to think that I'm doing a pretty good job faking this Career thing.

Our mentors lead Clove and I up to the elevator, and we catch the same one as district 1 and 12. Katniss has to stifle a giggle as Glimmer and Clove do their best to get close to me. Glimmer apparently notices that Katniss is giggling at her, because when the elevator stops at her floor, she reaches up to my cheek. At first I think she's going to whisper something to me, but she kisses me. Glimmer kisses my cheek, my neck, and my ear before finally facing me to kiss me square on the lips. She looks back at Katniss before whispering in my ear, "I'll see _you_ later," and winks at me before exiting the elevator.

Clove just begins to laugh at the attention I'm getting, and before long Enobaria and Haymitch start laughing too. "What the fuck was that?"

"Seems like everybody wants in your pants, Gale," Katniss says. I roll my eyes at her and thank my stars when the elevator stops at our floor and I can escape.

Katniss and I have been meeting every night on the rooftop, so my mentors think nothing of it when I change clothes and start to head back for the elevator. Only Rysalee has a problem.

"Just where do you think you're going, mister?"

I roll my eyes, "Same place I've been going."

"Oh no sir," she states. "Someone got word of tributes being up there, so they've got Peacekeepers up there round the clock. And that is just something you do not need right before private sessions, Gale."

"She's right," Brutus agrees. "You need to stay here tonight."

"Effie has told them too," Rysalee went on. "Katniss won't be there tonight."

Clove huffs from her seat on the couch, "Can we please stop talking about her? All anybody can freaking talk about is the 'Girl on Fire' and I could really care less. I'm going to kill her as soon as I can, so who cares."

The comment is provoking me, and I know it. Instead of shouting back, I just retreat to my room for the night. Maybe the private session tomorrow will put me in a better mood. I go back to the shower and focus on the hot water running down my body. All I can think about is Katniss, and I know I have to find some way to tell her about the bows for tomorrow.

My dreams feature her again tonight, but this time I can't find her. I can hear her calling my name and calling for me, but it doesn't matter where I turn, I can't find her. I call for her and call, but the forest and the fog are all too much for me, and I can't find her. I wake up screaming her name only to realize that I'm still in the bed of the training center.

I take a shower to wash off the terrible memory of the dream, dress in the clothes I'm supposed to and head to the dining room for breakfast. Clove looks like her usual morning self, and I see Enobaria and Brutus in deep conversation. When I sit down at the table they stop and turn to Clove and I.

"Okay, dears," purrs Enobaria. "Today is the private sessions. You'll be in with the Gamemakers for 10 minutes each."

"This is the time to show them everything you have," Brutus says. "If you've been hiding a skill, show it to them in the biggest way possible."

Clove and I both nod and return to our breakfast. Rysalee enters the room to escort us to where we will wait for our private sessions with the other tributes. We're lucky, because Clove will be the third one to go and I'll be fourth, so we won't have to wait as long as Katniss or Peeta.

Before we leave, I find a piece of paper and a pen. Since I didn't get to tell Katniss about the bows last night, I figure I should get to do it now. I write the message and ball the piece of paper in my fist so no one will notice.

When the elevator comes to our floor, Peeta, Katniss, and Effie are the only occupants. I smile at my good luck and casually hold my hand out, just enough for her to tell that I want to give her something. I back into her and slip the note into her hand. We stay silent until our escorts lead us into the room to wait for us to be called in.

Clove sits next to me on one side, and one of the guys from four on my other side. I know he's in my alliance, but I don't even bother learning his name. Too soon, my name is called and I walk through the room to where the Gamemakers sit, ready to watch me make some kind of impression on them.

I walk to the rope tying station and begin to set up a snare. It's not very complicated for me, but it _looks_ complicated. When I finish, I roll a dummy onto it and it gets strung up by its plastic ankles. I then walk to the set up with the bows and pick up the same one I had yesterday. I shoot five arrows straight through the heart of one dummy, and then send another three into the heart of the one caught in my snare, while it's still swinging.

Seneca Crane, the head Gamemaker announces, "You may go now, Mr. Hawthorne."

And just like that, I'm free to go.

…

I sit on the couch in our suite waiting for the coverage to come on with Brutus. Enobaria and Clove have elected to watch from Clove's room and discuss strategies. Frankly I don't really give a shit. Clove's been attached to me all afternoon, and I almost can't wait for the Games to start just so I can be rid of her.

Marvel, Glimmer, and Clove all score average for Careers, and I can't say that I'm very impressed. Clove scored the highest of the three with a 9, but it's only because of her knife throwing skills. My picture comes up next, and Caesar smiles, "Gale Hawthorne, from district 2… 10!"

Brutus slaps me on the back and smiles, "Now the Career pack will be following you for sure, Gale." Perfect.

We keep watching, but no one else gets a higher score than me until district 11. The girl, who reminds me of Prim, scores an 8, which sets me to wondering what on Earth she did to earn it. Peeta scores an 8 too, but that doesn't surprise me the way the girl (Rue?) did. Katniss's picture comes up, and Caesar announces an… _eleven_?

Since Rysalee isn't breathing down my back anymore, I sneak onto the roof to wait for Katniss like I had told her I would be in my note. I want to know what she did to get her 11. Shooting a bow couldn't have gotten her a score like that.

She makes her way up to the rooftop, and her eyes find me sitting in a corner before she rushes to me and stays in my arms. I kiss her forehead, "What the hell did you do to make you so loving?" I tease.

She laughs, "I shot an arrow at the Gamemakers."

_What_. She notices my tense body posture and laughs, "They weren't paying attention, and they had just brought in a huge pig. So I shot the arrow through the apple in the pig's mouth. Haymitch thinks they were impressed enough to give me an 11."

I just shake my head. What on Earth am I going to do with this girl.


	8. Change of Plans

"Gale, help me!" she calls, but it doesn't matter where I look, because I can't find her anywhere.

"Katniss! Keep talking to me, tell me where you are!"

"Help me, Gale! Save me!" she cries, and i can tell by the sound of her voice that someone is inflicting pain on her.

I finally break through the trees into a small clearing only to see Katniss on her back. Clove straddles her with a knife at her neck, while Glimmer has an arrow aimed at me. "What the fuck is going on?" I scream.

Katniss whimpers, but Clove just presses the knife deeper into her throat, "If we couldn't have you, neither could she."

...

I wake up screaming and in a puddle of my own sweat. I roll over and see that it's only 5 am, which explains why it's still dark outside. I decide to shower and try to wash away the dream—it's getting to be a habit lately and it's annoying as fuck.

But today is the big interview, my last chance to prove myself as a career before I skip the hell out on them tomorrow. I'm almost giddy at the thought of being rid of Clove and Glimmer. I shower quickly and head out to the dining room only to see that Enobaria and Brutus have already finished eating. They both smile as I load up my plate and sit down across from them.

"'Sup, boss?" I slur with a mouthful of food. Enobaria has said more than once that bad manners annoy her, so I've been trying my hardest to be as disgusting as possible.

Brutus just smiles at me, "You know the plan for tonight, hoss?"

I shake my head.

"You smile, you wave, but you act like a Career," he narrows his eyebrows so I catch his double meaning. Enobaria thinks he means just act like the legacy of a career—bold, proud, etc—but I know he's really telling me to act like an asshole so I can fool everyone.

Clove comes down to breakfast and loads up her plate before sliding in the chair next to me. She smiles sweetly before grabbing my hand on the table, "I can't wait to see how handsome you look tonight."

What the fuck.

I just smile and brush her off, catching Brutus's eye and excusing myself. He, Rysalee, and Enobaria were going to work one-on-one with Clove and I anyway, so I see it as a perfect means of escape.

Rysalee is sitting on the couch in the living area, and I politely ask her if she's ready to get started. "Well of course, Gale!" she says excitedly and leads me back to my room.

"Now, has Brutus told you your strategy?"

I nod, "He wants me to act very proud."

"That will work well for you, Gale," she agrees. "But you have to remember to play the crowd. You're very handsome—use that to your advantage."

I nod, "I don't know how to do that though."

Rysalee just laughs at me, "Blow some kisses, say someone in the Capitol has caught your eye, just give them hope. The sliver of hope that makes it think it's them will pay for your sponsors. They'll tell their fathers that you are in love with them and they can't let you die."

I nod again, Rysalee actually has this shit figured out. We spend the next two hours teaching me how to walk with just enough pride to make the girls swoon. Rysalee practices with some questions Caesar will probably ask about my family and she smiles when she realizes how bad I am at this.

"Don't you have anyone at home that you talk to?"

I nod, "I used to."

Rysalee smiles, "Well pretend that Caesar is that person and answer him how you would your friend."

After I start to picture giving my answers to Katniss, Rysalee says I'm flawless an releases me so she can work with Clove.

Brutus doesn't really instruct me, but he does make me watch interview tapes of careers who have won the games, commenting every few minutes.

"See how cocky he is?"

"I need you to hold yourself like he does, Gale."

I nod with every piece of advice, hoping I can pull it off. Whenever it's time to go, Rysalee comes to get me and escorts Clove and I to our prep teams.

After the shower and very little makeup, my head stylist dresses me in black dress pants, a black button up shirt, and a silver sports jacket. When I step back and look in the mirror, I think I look kinda hot. Every little bit helps.

As soon as I get cleared by the stylist, I walk out the door to a very intimidating Clove. She's wearing an orange short dress, and I'm so thankful we aren't dressed alike. All the tributes line up outside the stadium where they give interviews, so I turn back to my stylist, "Do we get to watch the interviews?" she nods, and motions for me to join the line.

We file in to thundering applause. I still haven't seen anybody from 12, and it makes me nervous to think she might not be here. Because my luck sucks so bad, I'm seated in between Glimmer AND Clove.

Fuck. I finally catch Katniss walking into the stadium, and her eyes are searching for me.

But I'm struck by how beautiful she is. The dress is beautiful, but whenever she moves, it looks as if it's a...a flame.

I feel like I could kiss her stylist again.

She finds me and takes in who I'm sitting by as she finds her seat. She cocks an eyebrow. _How'd that happen?_

_Takes talent_, I shrug back.

As soon as she and Peeta take their seats, Caesar comes out and begins introducing Marvel, and I try my hardest to appear interested without actually giving a fuck.

Glimmer comes to the stage next, and her too-short pale pink dress just barely covers every area of interest she has. She winks right at me and I have to make a concentrated effort not to roll my eyes at her. She answered Caesar's questions, but pauses when he asks her about a boy.

"Well, there's one I've met in the Capitol. He might just the the one, Caesar." Glimmer looks right at me and smiles so sweetly. I know it's just an act, and I know she won't name me. No, she'll save that for the Games. Because Glimmer still thinks I'm going to stay by her side and command them. She also thinks if it comes down to a choice, I'll choose her over Clove.

Her buzzer rings and Caesar calls me to the stage next. I walk just like Rysalee instructed, and I wave just like I was told—so all the girls swoon. I catch Katniss's eye, _pathetic_, she says.

I make my smile bigger and blow kisses to the upper deck of the stadium before looking at her again, _that's better._ She smiles as I take my seat.

"Gale Hawthone. You're not originally from district 2, am I correct?"

I smile brightly and answer, "No sir. I'm originally from 12. I got an opportunity with the Peacekeepers Recruitment Academy, it was too much money to pass up, so I joined and then I got reaped."

Caesar frowns, "That's too bad. Did you leave a girl behind?"

I can feel the blood rush to my face and run my hand through my hair—the girls in the crowd go crazy—earning the exact effect I wanted.

"There's one, but it's a secret," I tease, locking eyes with Katniss.

She smiles,_ I need more_.

"I've grown so close to her in the last few days, and I already don't know what I would do without her." I pause, and Katniss smiles even wider, _go for the kill._

"I guess I'm going to die for her, Caesar."

It's hard to hear the buzzer over the screaming girls, but I take my leave and wave as I go back to my seat. I catch Brutus's eye and earn a thumbs up, so I blow more kisses to the crowd.

The rest of the interviews pass without much else until Katniss strides to the stage. She finds me and smiles, and I know she expects me to guide her through it like she did with me.

"Katniss Everdeen, now we know you have a bit of a backstory with one of the tributes. Tell us about it?"

She smiles and looks at me, "Gale was my best friend. Our fathers died in the same mining accident, and we became friends to come with it."

Caesar frowned, "So unfortunate that you're here together."

Katniss nods.

"Now, about the fire. What a brilliant idea! Where's your stylist?" he points to the crowd, "Cinna! Take a bow!"

The man does, and I smile because he's given her such an edge.

"The flames are beautiful, aren't they?" Katniss asks.

_More, Catnip._

"I brought them with me today, would you like to see?" The crowd goes crazy as she stands up to twirl, and it literally looks like she is engulfed in flame.

Just like me, no one can hear when the buzzer goes off, but she smiles and plays the crowd till she sits back in her seat and Peeta comes to the stage.

He smiles and has playful banter with Caesar, until the important question comes, "Got a girl at home, Peeta?"

He smiles sadly, and looks at me, then at Katniss.

Fuck, no. Not now. No no no.

Because I know what he's about to do. He's about to say the words that are going to make my job that much harder.

"She came here with me."

To Katniss's credit, she handles the whole thing alot better than I would've figured. Instead of getting up to kill him, she just blushes and balls her fists up in her lap.

I turn around to see Haymitch smiling and i just glare at him. How the fuck could he let Peeta do this? He single handedly just ruined everything I've been working on this week.

Fuck, fuck.

I don't really pay attention to anything Caesar says until Clove and Glimmer both try to get up. I make it to the elevator, and I can hear Katniss's heated tone behind me. I sent my district partner and mentor up, saying I'll catch the next one. I just in time to see Katniss push Peeta up against the wall and put her forearm in his windpipe.

Since there's no one else in the lobby, I intervene.

"Catnip. As much as I'd like to kill him myself, I think you're going to have to wait 24 hours for that." I tentatively grab her wrist and she gradually relaxes.

So I turn to Peeta, "What the fuck was that?"

He just smiles, "Now she's desirable. They'll love the whole 'star crossed lovers' thing. Didn't you hear Caesar?"

"No," I spit. "I was too busy re-evaluating my whole strategy for tomorrow."

Haymitch comes between us, "Just do what you were going to do, Gale. I'll handle the sponsors and the press. It's going to work out."

It's enough for me to come over, so I catch the next elevator with Katniss. She's still pissed, and I can't say I blame her. When we come to my floor, I just turn to her, "The roof? 9?" she nods, so I walk down the suite to my room.

At nine I head for the elevator, glaring at my escort when she tries to open her mouth to stop me. She doesn't say anything so I go up to the roof to wait.

To my surprise, Katniss is already there, and it looks as if she's been crying. I take her into my arms and kiss her forehead, "It's going to be fine, Katniss. I have a plan."

"You do?"

I just nod. I really don't, but she can't know that.

She looks up and kisses me, her kisses lengthening and deepening with every passing second. Her hands tangle in my hair, and I know what she's thinking.

As much as it kills me, I pull away from her. "What's wrong?" she asks.

"Don't you start saying your goodbyes to me, Katniss. Not now. I will get you home. When we're the last two, say goodbye then."

She nods, "How will I find you tomorrow?"

"After your stunt in the private session, theyll have a bow, and we'll need it. So as soon as the buzzer sounds, get as far away from the bloodbath as possible."

"Do you understand?" she nods, "Just take off in a direction, I'll make sure I know where you head. As soon as I get the bow, I'll follow you. Don't stop running until sundown. I'll find you."

She nods and I can see a plan forming in her mind, "I'll sing to you."

I shake my head, "This isn't district 12. We don't know what type of arena we'll be in. If I don't find you, keep walking until you find water and camp out till I find you, okay?"

She nods and I tell her it's time for sleep. I walk her to the door and kiss her deeply, because truly I dont know when I'll get another opportunity.


	9. Stay Alive

A/n: still on my iPhone. Just an important note. If i have anything in asterisks (*), it is supposed to be italics, as in when Gale and Katniss commuicate. So thanks :)

* * *

After another restless sleep, I wake to find Clove stuffing her face. I'm not very hungry, but I eat enough to fill my stomach, making sure I drink almost twice my weight in water, because I'm not sure when I'll find more once we get to the arena.

Enobaria enters the room to take Clove down to the hovercraft that will transport us to the arena. Brutus comes to escort me with a sad smile, so I gulp down a few more swallows of water and follow him out of the training center. We reach the door of the hangar and he takes me by surprise by hugging me. It's not very long, and I can tell its not something he does often, but I smile and try to joke with him. "Any last words?" I ask him.

He just smiles, "This won't be the last time we talk, Gale Hawthorne. Just do what we talked about. Stay alive."

I nod and shake his hand, "Thanks for your help, Brutus. I never thought I'd actually think of a Career as a friend." He turns away from me so I start walking towards the hovercraft.

On board are seated 22 scared and trembling tributes... And Katniss. She is the air of confidence, like about to go into an arena with 23 other kids she has to kill is an everyday thing. If anything this is all amusing to her. The seats are a little too small for me, but I'm strapped in and a nurse sticks me with some kind of needle before I can protest.

"What is that?" Katniss asks.

The nurse just smiles, "A tracking device so we can keep up with you in the arena." and then she sticks Katniss. She's not very happy, but there isn't a lot she can do about it so she shrugs, again as if she could careless.

I catch her eye, *Something up?*

She shrugs in her seat and smiles to let me know she's just playing the game.

I wonder if Haymitch has told her to act like it amuses her to scare the other tributes—but Peeta is shaking with fear, so that doesn't fit. But maybe the only way to beat the games is to show the Capitol we don't give a shit—that we won't conform.

So the question is do we act like we're too good for the games?

Of course. I figure out the money question just 20 minutes before I'm supposed to have it all figured out.

We are in the air about fifteen minutes before landing. Our stylists wait outside for us and escort each of us to our loading rooms. Before we go, I catch Katniss's eye, *be careful.* She winks and turns away from me to head off with Cinna.

I walk the dark and dreary hallways with my stylist, whose name I still don't know. It won't matter, cause I'm never going to see her or Brutus again. She fits me with my clothes and helps me into my jacket before showing me where to stand.

"Be sure not to step off the plate, find water. And good luck, Gale."

I nod to her as the glass casing comes down on me and my plate rises to ground level. I'm only in the dark for about 3 seconds before being lifted into a clearing. All 24 tributes are in a circle around the cornucopia, and I easily spot the bow about 20 yards to the left of the cornucopia.

I look around, having about 20 seconds left. It's fucking perfect. The woods look exactly like district 12, and all I can do is smile at our good luck.

30 seconds...

Clove catches my eye and nods toward the bow. I muster an evil smile in response.

20 seconds...

I look around to find Katniss in between the bow and the woods and she nods towards the bow too. I shake my head, No. Go to the woods.

She nods, knowing I'll get it for her.

10 seconds...

I close my eyes and pray that I'm doing the right thing.

When the bell sounds, Katniss takes off 20 feet to her right, grabbing a damn backpack. Clove has already located a knife set, and true to her word, throws one at Katniss. The backpack deflects it, and I breath a sigh of relief. I pick up a long knife and cut down two tributes in between the bow and I.

I pick up the bow and a backpack next to it, and while all the careers are fighting the bloodbath like Marvel told them to, I start to slip off in the direction Katniss went, but of course my luck just can't be that good today.

Marvel tosses me a spear and points to the kid from 8 on his back in front of me. Inside, I groan, but I know that this kid will have to die to get Catnip home anyway, so I stick the spear directly into his heart, and hope for his sake that it's a quick death.

Within 20 minutes, 10 children are dead on the battlefield around me—because a battlefield is the only way to really describe it. In addition to the kid from 8, I only kill one more, and I'm not positive what district he's from.

I take my peace in commanding everyone else while pulling together enough supplies that could keep Katniss and I going for a while. I slip the backpack on and put the quiver around my back, and smile when the other careers do the same.

Marvel looks to me, "We have to split so they can take the bodies. What do we do now?"

The question is directed at me, but I take my time in answering because I'm still trying to decide what to do.

Splitting up completely will leave the careers scattered and easier for random tributes to pick them off. The less amount of people I have to kill—the better.

I sit up from where I was crouched on a rock and address the group, "Okay, every year the alliance does a career hunt at night. The other tributes will be expecting that. We're going to split up and go now."

Clove screams in response, "What?! We can't abandon the traditions. Are you crazy!?"

I point my spear at her, "Got a problem, Clove?"

She narrows her eyes and shakes her head, so I begin pairing people off. "Marvel, you and Clove head toward the lake. Glimmer, you're with me."

Glimmer looks like a kid who's just been locked overnight in a candy store, and I slyly smile back at her. She thinks I chose her because I like her, but I only chose her because she's the stupidest and easiest to desert.

I chart them into directions far away from Katniss, but Glimmer and I enter the forest exactly where I saw Katniss enter earlier. I cross my fingers that we're going the same direction and begin trying to track her.

Tracking was one of my stronger attributes that I learned from my dad's notes. Animals and humans aren't really that different to me, so I find Katniss's shoe prints quite easily. I can tell she's been running, and I'm glad that she was following my instructions for once.

Glimmer apparently can't handle my silence in the woods and starts talking.

"Sooo, who do you hope we find?" she asks coyly.

I decide not to lie, "The Girl on Fire."

Glimmer nods, "Clove wants her bad. I do too."

I keep my eyes on Katniss's trail in an effort to keep from rolling my eyes, and silently thank myself for sending Clove in the opposite direction of Katniss. "Why do you want to find her? And why does Clove?"

Glimmer giggles and steps in front of me, putting her hands on my chest to stop me, "You honestly don't know?"

I just shake my head and move her hands so I can keep walking.

I take two steps before I hear her say, "It's because of you, Gale. Clove is jealous of her. And I am too."

I just smile, "Glimmer. Let's worry about it when everybody is dead or not, okay?"

The answer appeases her and she follows my lead.

After about two miles of waking, I can tell Katniss's steps are getting more frantic—she's starting to look for water and can't find any.

I explain to Glimmer that water is the priority now, and I show her the water signs in the ground. I don't want to share important information with her, but two sets of eyes are better than one, and I'm getting anxious to find Katniss.

The sun starts to set, and Glimmer starts vocalizing her worries about getting close to the alliance more and more often. I keep deflecting her, but finally I just sit on a stump and go silent.

I've lost Katniss. She has only a knife, no water, and careers tracking her who want to kill her. Awesome.

But then... I hear the birds. The mockingjays are...singing. I've heard that tune before.

"Gale lets go back—" Glimmer starts to say.

"Hush," I half yell back.

The tune is familiar, and I smile when I realized I've heard them before. I look at Glimmer and put a finger on my neck for her to be silent as I sing the chorus to the song.

*Are you, are you, coming to the tree?*

The birds repeat it, and I can hear Katniss singing, just on the other side of the clearing from where Glimmer and I sit. I lean over to her, "Do not fire first or I'll kill you, understand? She's mine." she nods, and we start walking towards where i hear Katniss's voice.

She sings the chorus as I push aside a branch and come into the clearing. "All those years together and I've only heard you sing once. You've been in the games for a couple hours and all of Panem hears? How's that fair?"

Her head picks up so quickly that I wonder how it doesn't break, but I don't wonder for long because Katniss has tackled me with a hug. She looks back to smile at me and notices Glimmer.

"What is she doing here?" Katniss whispers, and I can hear her draw her knife.

"I'd ask you the same thing, but it looks like I'm the one out of this loop," Glimmer seethes.

I turn to face her, "What the hell are you playing at, Gale?" she smiles coyly again, "I thought we really had something."

Katniss takes the bow and arrow from me and stares down Glimmer. "Gale's mine, you bitch. You've kissed him and flirted with him all week, and now I can finally tell you."

Glimmer's smile fades, "what..."

I step in front of Katniss, "Ive been in love with her for over a year and a half, and she's going home."

Glimmer snarls, "I'll kill you, you skinny bitch."

Katniss throws me out of the way, showing me that she wants Glimmer for herself. Glimmer throws her spear, but Katniss unloads two arrows in her chest before Glimmer hits the ground.

Katniss walks over to her to retrieve her arrows and walks back to me as the cannon booms.

"What the hell, Catnip?"

She smiles and kisses me, "I've planned that for a few days. No one tries to mess with my man."


	10. Declaration

"Have all the female tributes been throwing themselves at you like that?" Katniss asks me.

I shake my head and pick up the backpack and spear Glimmer was carrying, "Just her and Clove." She nods her head, but I can tell she's a little more than pissed off about the two girls being more-than-friendly towards me.

"Are you a little jealous, Catnip?" I tease, poking my elbow into her rib cage—right where i know she's ticklish.

She grins and blushes just enough for me to see, "No I'm not."

I smile back, "That's what i thought."

She turns around to face me. "What are you talking about?" she snaps.

"Considering I just lied to an alliance of Careers for a whole week just so i could keep them disoriented and hot off your trail, _and _since I tracked the entire damn arena with one of them to find you, I would say you're a little higher on the list of priorities right now."

"Oh, right," she admits sheepishly.

I nod, "Those girls don't mean anything to me, Katniss. Surely you know that." I reach out to grab her hand, "You've been the only girl I've ever cared about for the last year and a half."

She looks around so she appears as if she can't handle the information, but i know she's just searching for a camera. She stops and looks into my eyes, "Let's talk about this later," and reaches up on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek.

Not exactly the way I pictured professing my love for her, but Katniss hates emotions and feelings, so i follow her lead instead of trying to push her.

We walk away from the girl so the hovercraft can pick her up and deliver her body back to her parents. "You know, Catnip. The Career pack has probably figured out that I'm not coming back," I offer.

She nods, "Do you think they'll start hunting tributes tonight anyway?"

"That was why we all split up earlier, I suggested starting the annual hunt a little early."

She looks over her shoulder before drawing an arrow, "We need to find somewhere to sleep. They're going to be looking for you, and when they find you they aren't going to take any mercy, Gale."

She doesn't have to tell me that, i already know. I'm not completely useless, but i do know that they're all going to be pissed off that i've played them all week—Clove most of all. Of course, only _I_ can manage to piss off one of the most dangerous tributes.

"Have you found any water yet?" Katniss asks me, with a slight strain in her voice. It's not something the audience at home is going to catch, but I do.

"No ma'am. Glimmer and I had almost given up on you and started to try tracking water instead."

She shakes her head. "It's so damn frustrating to actually be here instead of seeing it on a projected screen at home."

"I know exactly what you mean," I chuckle. Katniss gives me the nod, so I ready the spear Glimmer had in one hand and the knife Clove threw at Katniss in the other. Just like always, Katniss leads on my right and I protect her left flank. We walk for close to a mile, not speaking, before finding a tree with big enough branches to strap us both in enough to sleep. It's not the most comfortable spot, but it's much safer than sleeping on the ground tonight.

On a wide branch, we empty the backpacks between us and discover two sections of rope that are long enough to make good snares, a cold and wind resistant sleeping bag, two flasks (one with water, one without), dried fruit, matches, two more knives, and a flare gun. "A fucking flare gun?" I laugh as Katniss pulls it out of the bag. "What do they want, one of us to accidentally shoot it off and give ourselves away?"

She just shakes her head and looks down at the sleeping bag. "Who's keeping the first watch?" she asks. I just raise an eyebrow at her as if she just made a terrible joke. "Guess it's you then," she says, slightly offended. She snuggles up next to me on the branch, puts her legs in the sleeping bag, and I put one arm around her, holding her close to my chest, my other hand holding the knife in case we are attacked.

"Do you think anything bad will happen tonight?" Katniss asks me, her voice thick with sleep.

I chuckle at her, "No I don't. Usually the Gamemakers don't get involved the first night, Catnip. _And_ with us killing Glimmer, i think the audience has had enough for one night."

She laughs and before long I can feel her body wear out with sleep. With the sun gone down and the quiet settling in around us, i start to hear the sounds of the forest. Mockingjays call to one another, frogs, birds, and animals whose sounds I'm not sure of start calling to each other. I look down at Katniss's sleeping face and brush the hair out of her eyes. She looks peaceful when she sleeps.

And so heartbreakingly beautiful.

I know I'm running out of time—before long the Gamemakers will intervene and cause some type of tragedy before I can tell Katniss how I really feel about her. And for some reason, I feel like I have to vocalize my feelings before I die. The sense of urgency is almost overwhelming now that I realize my death could actually be upon me. I start to shake her awake so I can tell her, but just as I move, the forest goes quiet and the anthem of Panem plays as the fallen tributes begin to light up the sky.

...

The damn blonde from one is the first person to pull up in the sky for the tributes to see. The ones who didn't hear the girl's mentor flipping her shit earlier all gasp, because there are only two people that could've done it, Katniss or Gale. Brutus throws me a sad glance across the mentor room, because he knows how vicious the mentors can be. Of course, Victors are all family and we all have our special bond that no one else will, but we want _our_ tributes to win, and we aren't all for helping someone else's.

Which is why I've gotten a dirty look from every mentor in this room.

Enobaria was just as pissed as Clove whenever they both realized that Gale had abandoned his post of leadership. At first, Clove and Marvel were convinced he had died—and seeing Glimmer's face on the fallen tributes confirmed their belief. But then Gale's didn't show up, and Katniss's didn't either. So Clove put two and two together and realized that Gale had been playing them the whole time.

Her screaming was enough to make me want a drink. Enobaria's screaming was enough to make me go into the refreshment room and get one.

I promised Peeta i would stay sober for Katniss's sake, because i know he's trying just as hard as Gale is to get her home. But damn, it's hard to be sober around this band of assholes. Every five seconds someone is bitchin' about the unfairness of the games, or worried that some other tribute is getting more than theirs is—the Careers are the worst of all. It's exhausting, really.

The mentoring room is set up in a wide circle, with 12 stations that have a number above them for each district. Within each station is a set of five screens. The larger one shows the entirety of the arena, with a blue blinking dot for whatever station's tributes, and red dots for everyone else. The two below it are the feed of whatever camera is centered on each tribute at the time, and each have buttons that will let the mentors listen in on whatever conversation the tribute is having. The two monitors below that have each tribute's vital signs, as well as a record of any injury and the chance of survival if left untreated.

The room is small enough you could hear a conversation across the room, but large enough for all the stations and the huge television screen that shows what the audience at home is seeing in the center, with one section of the screen devoted to the tributes: tributes still living have their names in green, the deceased are in red.

Brutus comes over to talk whenever Enobaria is getting some rest, because for some reason we both feel as if we should work together, and she bitches at him for not keeping her in the loop when she's awake. Gale Hawthorne shouldn't even be his tribute, because honestly he should've been reaped out of 12 in the first place. The damn Peacekeepers association or whatever the fuck they are rig the rules to best suit their own needs anyway.

After Katniss falls asleep with Gale holding her, Brutus walks over to my station and sits down in the empty seat. "When do you think he's going to tell her?" he questions.

I don't even have to ask to know what he's talking about. "Gale tried to open up then—but Katniss is smart—she isn't going to let him until the climax of the games," I reply.

Brutus groans, "Is that really the best idea? If the Capitolites take to them as a couple, they'll want to do everything they can to keep them alive. Even the Gamemakers can't ignore that."

"I disagree. They'll do everything to keep them apart—it'll make for good entertainment," I snort. "Besides, Cinna's been on the outside, he says everybody is happy that Gale came looking for Katniss."

"Haymitch," Brutus says, and he has a pleading tone in his voice, "We can't let them die."

I know he's right, but i don't see a solution out of it. They're already in the arena, and there can't be two Victors, absolutely not. "What am I supposed to do, Brutus? Go to parties and promote young love?"

He shakes his head, "No. That's my job."

"A career is going to campaign for two district 12 kids?" the idea amuses me, honestly.

He nods, "I'm more well-known and more liked in the Capitol than you are, Haymitch. Just sign the paper so i can campaign for Katniss some sponsor money too. I'll do that while you stay here and monitor the kids."

"What if something happens to Gale? Enobaria is still technically his mentor too, yah know."

Brutus just chuckles, "That bitch hates him. But it doesn't really matter if Gale dies anyway right? Katniss is the one we're all trying to get home, correct?"

"Kinda harsh when you say it like that," I admit. "But you're right. It's what Hawthorne would want." I take the pen from his hand and sign the document. I'm not sure why you'd need a legal way to try to get sponsors for other tributes—since it happens so rarely here—but apparently you do. I'm glad Brutus wants to do the ass-kissing anyway because i was dreading it.

He takes the paper to someone more official than me and gets his coat so he can start going to the sponsorship parties. Making sure Katniss and Gale are okay again, i turn to my monitor with Peeta on it.

Like Katniss, he also took my advice and headed straight for the woods, but unlike Katniss, Peeta has found water—and a friend. I didn't expect the little girl to make it out of the bloodbath, but there is little Rue (at least, i think that's her name) sitting on a rock with him and sharing the contents of her backpack. Just a few pieces of dried meat and a knife, and i'm honestly not sure that Peeta really even knows how to use it. He's going to have to think of something quickly though because the meat in the backpack isn't going to last long.

I put on the headphones and click the button below his monitor that will let me listen in to anything the camera picks up. "Was all that real?" Rue asks him while eating what's left of the meat.

"Was what real?"

"The interviews? Being in love with her?"

I check behind me to make sure the audience at home isn't hearing this conversation and breathe a sigh of relief when I realize it isn't. It's spotted a girl in the woods who's making a fire at night... Idiot.

Peeta just smiles at the small girl, "What do you think?"

Rue shrugs, "I think you are."

"Well, you guessed it, I am."

I check back on the monitor to see that it's now centered on Rue and Peeta so the nation can hear him declare his love again—pathetic. They eat for a few more seconds before Peeta turns back to her, "What do you think about Katniss?"

Rue just shrugs again, "I saw her looking at her friend alot, the guy from two? How close were they?"

"_Extremely_ close," Peeta sighs. "They were best friends, Rue. I've been in love with her for most of my life, and I knew when Gale Hawthorne walked into hers that i never had a chance."

Rue finishes with her food and fully faces Peeta, engrossed in the conversation. "What makes you say that?" she asks with hesitation.

"Because Rue," Peeta explains, "Gale is like, the best of the district, at everything he does. And i've seen the two of them together, they just have this... connection. And it doesn't have anything to do with their dads dying or how much time they spend together—it's special. And i could never come close to that with her."

Rue's eyes widen a little bit, and i can hear the sighs from the women mentors of the room.

"What are you going to do then?"

Peeta shrugs, "I don't know, Rue." When he finishes, Rue nods, and Peeta suggests that she sleep first, so i turn off the monitor and lean back in my seat with a smile.

Peeta Mellark just made Brutus's job that much easier to get sponsors for Katniss.


	11. In the Name of Love

**A/N: **Okay, so as you know my computer is fried. I found another laptop, but it has a problem connecting to my wifi at home. But don't worry, I have to be at the library every day, so i'll post a few chapters whenever i am connected. Don't worry, i'm not giving up on this story! lol Also, I hate writing from Katniss's POV, so from here on out it's going to be mostly Haymitch or Gale. Enjoy the chapters today!

* * *

When I wake up, all i really register is how tired i am. Which is odd, considering it's not long before dawn—which means I let my guard down and fucking slept all night. Damn it.

I still have the knife in my hand from where I fell asleep, and I thank God that I finally had a stroke of good luck, but it was about damn time anyway. Katniss starts to stir, so i try to wipe the sleep off my face with my free hand, 'cause she's going to be pissed that I didn't switch off with her anyway, and admitting that i fell down on the job would only piss her off more.

She opens her eyes and looks up at me, clearly confused on where she is. I kiss her forehead and whisper, "Good morning, sleepy." She smiles and tries to snuggle in closer to me to secure the warmth she had from sleep... And then she freezes before looking up at me with a scowl on her face.

"Why did you let me sleep so long?" she snaps. "You have to get sleep too, Gale. You can't just go through this whole thing trying to protect me."

I cut her off, "Easy Catnip. I fell asleep too, okay? I meant to trade off with you and I passed out. I didn't sleep well night before last and it just happened. I'm sorry."

I'm not sure if it was something in my tone or in my face, but instead of getting more pissed off, Katniss just accepts my answer and plants a kiss on my cheek before wrestling out of the sleeping bag and packing it up.

We finish the rest of the dried fruit for breakfast and most of the water, only saving a swallow apiece for the rest of the day. "We have to find water soon," she says.

I nod, "I don't know where I would look to find it though. The Cornucopia had a lake next to it, but by now the Careers have to be all over that."

"I wonder how they felt about your deserting them," Katniss chuckles.

I laugh, "I can only imagined how long Clove screamed. It's a wonder we didn't hear her last night, honestly."

After checking to make sure the coast is clear, Katniss and I hop down from the tree, weapons ready. We decide to head in the direction of the Cornucopia so we can see if the Career alliance has broken or if they've found a leader. We also go that way to see if we could track where the water from the lake is coming from.

We walk quietly, and after a moment Katniss turns around to face me, _Let's hunt_. I smile in agreement, knowing she means for actual food, and follow her into the thicker part of the woods, quieting my every move.

I let her get about five feet ahead of me and five more feet to my right. It bothers me to put even this much space between us, but I convince myself that it's no different than hunting in 12, and that calms me down.

I hear a branch snap about forty feet to my left, and I pause to look at Katniss. Her whole frame has tensed, meaning she heard the noise too. She finds my eyes, _What was that?_

I shrug, and nod my head in the direction of the sound, _follow it?_ she nods and carefully walks to me so she can take the lead again. We walk for a few steps before hearing another twig snap, and Katniss looks back at me again. She smirks, her eyes begin to dance—I know that look. Katniss has found whatever we're looking for, and she likes what she sees.

We can see a faint clearing in front of us, and a black shirt sitting on a rock. Since we don't know who it is, I tug Katniss's shoulder to make sure she hangs back because if someone is baiting us, I'd rather go first and die so she has a chance to escape. I nod to her to make sure she has her bow ready and pull back the curtain of leaves.

The black shirt belongs to the little girl from 11, the one who reminded me of Prim. I lower my weapon and Katniss automatically does the same. Rue still hasn't noticed us and she's just sipping on water and eating what looks like dried meat. I want to just slip away—because I know I can't find it in me to kill this little girl. My compassion for killing may be all but gone because of the Capitol, but I can't take this little girl's life.

But Katniss just can't help herself. "Rue," she calls as quietly as she can, "Rue, we aren't going to hurt you."

The little girl's head snaps up and when she sees us with weapons in our hands she tenses up, preparing to run. "No, no, no," Katniss soothes, throwing down her bow. "We won't hurt you."

Rue looks to me, and i put down my knife and spear. She instantly calms down and her whole body relaxes. "Have you been out here by yourself all night?" I ask her.

She shakes her head, "Peeta was with me till this morning, isn't he from your district?"

Katniss nods, "What happened to him?" I can hear the fear in her voice, and for some reason i know she is worried for the baker's son.

Rue shrugs, "I don't know. He was here last night and told me to sleep first, but when i woke up, he was gone."

"That's not like Peeta at all," Katniss says to me. I know Peeta Mellark running off _should_ be something that I'm worried about, but right now all i can think about is how big my tongue seems to be in my mouth.

"Where did you find that water?" I blurt.

Rue points behind her, "There's a stream on the other side of this tree line." Katniss and I look at each other at the same time before grabbing our weapons and Rue's hand to lead us to the water.

Survival first—Peeta later.

I motion for Rue to walk between Katniss and I, and we walk forward with our weapons raised. We aren't ambushed or anything, and in about fifteen minutes of walking I can hear the water running of the stream. I put my finger to my mouth to show Rue to be extra quiet. I motion for Katniss to take the lead and make sure there isn't anyone in the stream, tightening my grip on the spear. She nods and takes a few steps forward before looking back at me, _two_.

I silently cuss myself, because I know we're going to have to kill both these tributes in front of a twelve year old. I know they would've all had to die anyway, but I really didn't prepare myself to kill this many people this quickly. I take a deep breath, man up, and motion for Katniss to start the ambush.

Katniss nocks her arrow, taking a deep breath before firing it into the neck of the girl tribute from nine, and i put my spear through the chest of her district partner, thankful that i practiced with the spear for a while in the training center. the two cannons go off, and i find myself thankful that the two tributes didn't really know what hit them. At least it was a quick death.

I retrieve and clean the spear while Katniss does the same for her arrows, and tells Rue to start filling all of our canteens, flasks, and bottles with as much water as we can hold and to purify it, quickly.

"Gale, we should hunt before we leave," Katniss whispers to me. "We don't have any food left and i doubt Rue does either."

I nod and turn to Rue, "Do you have any more food?"

She shakes her head, "I found some plants that we always ate in 11, but there isn't anything left."

I take a knee so I'm closer to her eye level, "Do you think you could find those plants again if you went looking for them?" She nods in response so I hand her one of the knives, "Katniss and I will go hunting for meat. Find as many edible plants as you can and come back here. Try to be quiet and hide if you have to. Kill anyone that gets too close." I hand her some of the water bottles.

"How will i find you?"

Of course, she's only 12. Remembering how she got to the stream isn't going to be a strong point, but I'm at a loss.

"The birds," Katniss whispers with amazement, as if she didn't think of that before.

Rue's eyes widen, "Of course. We have a note that we sing when it's quitting time in 11. the birds will carry it through the trees." She sings the four notes for us and makes us practice whistling it before leaving through the trees.

I turn to Katniss, "Let's hunt, Catnip."

...

I know that splitting up is never a good thing when you're in the Games, but my monitors are telling me that all three of them hungry. I know well enough from talk in the district that going hungry isn't something that's unfamiliar to Gale and Katniss, but i don't know how the food situation is in 11, so Rue could go either way.

I look at the map of the arena. The stream they were sitting at is the only water in a five mile radius, so i swell with pride that they finally found it. But while Gale and Katniss head west of the river, the Careers are just a mile or two west of them, and heading south. It's a little too close for comfort, but since the Career conversation is on the main screen for the homes of Panem, i click on my headphones too see what they've thought about Gale.

"...pisses me off that he was only doing it for that girl," Clove spits.

Marvel rolls his eyes as if it's not the first time he's heard this conversation, "What the hell do you care, Clove? Gale wasn't interested in you anyway. If anything, you should be pissed off he lied to us."

Clove goes back to sharpening her knives on a rock, "Oh no, Marvel. I'm not even worried about getting my revenge on him lying to me."

"Oh really?"

Clove nods. "I'm going to give him hell for that when i finally see him. While you hold him, I'm going to cut up that skinny bitch from 12. I've been dreaming about killing her since he was so excited she got that damn 11."

"Wonder what she did to earn it," Marvel chuckles.

The girl from four shakes her head, "Does it matter? Whatever she did, she had to be really good at it. Did Gale tell us any of her strengths?"

Clove closes her eyes as if she's lost in thought, "Said she was good with knives, and lousy with a bow." She smiles and i realize that i don't like the look of that smile, "Marvel, wasn't that the only thing he took? A bow?"

Marvel smiles too, "It was. I wouldn't hand him any knives or a sword or anything. All he had access to was the bow."

I take the headphones off as the two Careers start planning the ways they're going to chop up Gale and Katniss. The two of them taking out the pair from nine today only leaves 12 tributes left, and as the Career pack comes up on both tributes from 7 and one from 5, i feel like the number is about to decrease.

But I can see Peeta is...heading right for the Careers. Fuck. I slip the headphones back on to see what the fuck he's up to. He can hear the Career pack through the trees and bursts out, hands raised. Clove is confused at first, and i can see she's having a hard time deciding if she should throw her knife or not.

"Please, I want in your alliance. I know you're looking for Katniss and Gale—I want to help."

I rub my temples and sip the coffee in front of me—it's not as good as alcohol, but it'll do. I knew Peeta was jealous of Gale from the first moment he learned that Gale had been reaped, it's not like it was much of a secret in the district anyway. But joining the Career pack to take down Katniss and Gale? Peeta's not really that type of guy. I deduce that it's got to be just a thing to take down Gale so he can have Katniss to himself, but I'm not really sure.

I look at the clock and notice that Brutus has been gone for a while, and i have yet to get sleep today. I choke back some more of the terrible coffee and refill my cup—I'll sleep when he's back. I eat some more sugar and head back to the mentoring room.

Katniss and Gale are still hunting, so i put on the headphones and click the button that'll let me listen in. It proves to be pointless though, because Gale and Katniss hunt without making a single damn sound. I check behind me and see that Gale and Katniss are on the big monitor and everyone is watching them. I chuckle to myself, I'd heard from people in the district that these two were lethal hunters, but lethal is almost too tame of a word for the way they look now.

Katniss leads with her bow drawn, and Gale has the spear ready just a few steps behind her to her left. Every movement is in sync, and both of them anticipate the next move the other is going to make. It has nothing to do with their feelings, but it is a product of spending years hunting together. I check and see the Careers are about half of a mile from them, but I can't say i'm really worried for Katniss and Gale. The careers are too damn loud.

Katniss motions to her left with just a nod of her head, and before I can blink, Gale has nodded and thrown a knife at the animal. It's a very plump squirrel, and Gale has shot it right in the head. The two of them grin with a very dark look in their eye, and Katniss waits for Gale to retrieve the animal and attach it to his belt before they go on. Within ten minutes, Katniss has shot two birds with the bow and Gale has claimed another squirrel. Content with their load, the two start to head back to the stream.

"How are we going to cook it, Gale?" Katniss asks. "We can't risk a fire at midday—the Careers will see it."

Gale nods, "I know. We just have to hope Rue collected enough for lunch and we'll cook these at dusk." Katniss nods and they head back through the clearing.

Rue sits next to the stream, cleaning the plants. She offers some to Katniss and Gale, who make sure the girl has eaten before they take a bite. Old habits of feeding your siblings don't die, i guess.

I take off the headphones just as Brutus sits down next to me, looking more tired than I do. "What's the word?"

"Thousands of sponsors. _Thousands_, Haymitch. It seems like every person in the Capitol wants Katniss to escape with whoever she loves."

With one click on the keyboard in front of me, I see Katniss's sponsorship totals skyrocket. Peeta's still remain at a minimum, but since he's with the Career pack now, I can't tell whether his will rise or fall.

"What about Gale?"

Brutus smiles from ear to ear, "Everyone loves him. Fooling the Careers—and the nation—for love is something they've been waiting 75 years to see."

"Really?"

Brutus nods, "It's a zoo out in the streets. People are already started voicing their opinions for the two, it's crazy. And after Peeta's confession to Rue last night, most of the people have started picking sides, either Peeta or Gale."

I just shake my head, these damn Capitolites are ridiculous.

"What about sponsors? I have a feeling these games are going to be gory, we have to be able to send them medicines."

Brutus's grin almost breaks his face, "Gale has at least double what Katniss has."

"Ahh, guess even betrayal in the name of love is something of value."


	12. Thanks

The anthem of Panem lights up the sky once again and the fallen tributes are shown. Both from five and one from seven are gone, no surprises as to who killed them. Only nine tributes left. Only seven more people have to die before i can sacrifice myself so Katniss can win.

Easy as cake, right?

We put Rue in the sleeping bag and sit with our backs against trees, on the ground tonight because we didn't think Rue could sleep all night in a tree. Since I fell asleep so easily last night, Katniss offers to take the first watch after we eat. I lay my head in her lap and try to snooze off and find that falling asleep in an arena full of people who want to kill you isn't as easy as it was last night.

Katniss realizes it too, so she starts to run her fingers through my too-long hair, lightly giggling as she does. "What, Catnip? I need a haircut, okay?"

"I always liked your hair when it was longer," she replies.

I decide to give up on sleep and just sit up next to her, kissing her cheek. The forest has gone quiet again, with most of its creatures falling asleep, except me.

"Do you remember that time I had to cut your hair?" she softly asks.

I laugh at the memory, "Of course I do."

"We were swimming and your hair was so long it was all in your face," she recounts, giggling. "And you made me cut it with my knife."

I nod, "Yeah, and you cut it too short. So i had to go around with a hat for a month so girls would still think I was cute."

Katniss just shakes her head, "Girls always thought you were cute, Gale."

I let the silence fall uneasily with the memory between us. I stare off into the dark forest, wishing we were back in district 12.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I answer. "Katniss, I have something I need to tell you." She turns to face me.. Her eyes are a beautiful grey mixed with a ring of blue, much more amazing than my plain grey eyes. I'm honestly at a loss for words, but it's not the first time this girl has rendered me speechless. It's only been three days since we've been in this damn arena, and i can already feel like my time is growing short—but here i am with an opportunity to finally tell her my true feelings and I'm speechless.

Katniss sees through me as she always does, and puts a finger to my lips. "You don't have to speak, Gale," she soothes. "I already know what's in your heart."

"But you don't—" I start to say, but I stop. She's putting me off for a reason, and I'm not really sure what it is, but i trust that Katniss has her reason and I let it go. I kiss her lips and put my head back in her lap and succumb to the powers of sleep.

I dream of a green meadow, lit up by the bright yellow sun. I can feel the sun warming my back as i lay stomach down on a blanket. I hear the shrieking of a young child and open my eyes to see a boy running towards me with dark brown hair and pale grey eyes. I sit up to catch the toddler and swing him around in my arms.

"Gale!" I hear someone call. When i look over my shoulder, the toddler in my arms starts to reach out his arms to the woman.

"Mama, mama!" he calls, and the woman laughs.

She walks up quickly, sporting a very pregnant stomach and takes the child from me before reaching up to kiss my cheek. "I missed you, Gale," she says, brushing the hair out of her eyes.

When the woman looks back to my eyes, I realize it's Katniss. But her eyes turn fearful at something that's behind me, and she starts scrambling for the child in her arms, "Gale! Gale! We have to go, we have to go now!"

Something is pushing me, and i try to open my eyes. It's Katniss, but not the older Katniss of my dreams, she comes into focus, screaming for me to hurry and get up.

And then I realize where I am.

And that the forest behind her is on fire.

I jump up and look around, Rue and Katniss have gathered their weapons and backpacks and both grab my jacket so I will run with them. I start to run faster and faster, pushing every ounce of speed out of my legs. A tree falls in our path, and my brain works faster, trying to find an escape route. I see an opening in the clearing to my left and push Katniss in that direction, tugging Rue behind me.

"Duck!" Katniss screams. I hit the deck with my hands still on Rue's jacket, pulling her down with me. A ball of fire passes over the three of us, and while I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief, I know we aren't done yet.

I grab both girls and pull them to their feet, running in the same direction the fire ball came from. I see another one being shot towards us, "_Down!_" and drag them both down with me, before dragging them back up to run.

I know the stream is somewhere, it's got to be here somewhere. _Where is the damn stream_?

Katniss has always been faster than I am, so I have no surprises when she passes me at a full sprint through the trees. Rue and I burst through the trees after her and crash into the stream. I close my eyes and just wade in the stream for a few seconds, thankful to have made it out with both girls.

"Either of you hurt?" I ask, eyes still closed.

I hear Katniss pat herself down. "I'm okay," she responds, and I breathe another sigh of relief.

"I—I don't think I am," Rue whimpers.

My eyes pop open and I pick up the girl to carry her out of the water opposite the fire. Sure enough, she has a burn the size of my hand on her forearm, and it looks terrible. I turn to Katniss, "Any idea how to treat a burn?" she shakes her head, and I don't have a damn clue either.

Rue whimpers a little more, and I know she's got to be in some serious pain. I know next to nothing about burns—Katniss's mom was always the healer. "Well, we can't stay out in the open like this, let's find a place on the ground to camp out for the night."

...

Chaff approaches my station calmly and slowly, and I can tell that he's got tears in his eyes. I didn't know he had taken to the little girl so well, but I don't say anything as he sits down in the chair next to me.

"Come to beg mercy?" I ask.

Chaff shakes his head, "Came to ask your advice, old friend."

"Let me hear it."

Chaff sighs, "Thresh is going to be one of the guys who could actually win this thing, and I've tried to prepare myself for Rue's death. The sponsors aren't coming in for the aide of a 12 year old like I thought they would. I don't have enough money to help her, and i know that she knows that, but I can't just let her die. What do i do?"

I cross my arms, "Not much you _can_ do, Chaff." The heavy silence falls between us. I'm also at a crossroads—I know Katniss will never forgive me if I don't do my best to help this little girl. And I know from experience that it will stay with her forever.

Brutus comes back with our coffee, checking the screen to catch himself up on the action. The big monitor was replaying the fireballs to the audience at home and Rue's injury, Brutus watches carefully before silently sitting back down.

"My God," He says when he sees the wound."Almost exactly like one of the guys in our alliance during my games."

I remember that year, the kid nearly died from infection because his mentor had already picked the other tribute over him. Bastard.

"Well, gentlemen, looks like there's only one other option," I say. I check the monitor again and see that Katniss has more than enough money, so I make the selection and send the parachute. Within two minutes, i look to the screen in the middle of the room and see the parachute slowly descending towards where the trio has made camp for the night.

Gale hears the parachute outside in the bushes before Katniss does. Rue has passed out and Katniss is cooking the meat in a small fire in the diminishing sunlight, so Gale takes the bow from her and motions that he's going to check out whatever the commotion is.

The camera focuses in on him looking through the trees. When he spots the parachute he smirks, and I'd venture to guess that it's the closest to a smile that he's came since he's been in the arena. He fetches the parachute out of the tree tops and comes back to the ground before opening it.

When he sees the contents, he smiles and looks up to the camera, and softly whipsers, "Thank you, Haymitch" before kissing the three middle fingers of his left hand and holding them skyward. He takes the container with the burn creme and runs back to the camp, and I can tell he's having to make a concentrated effort not to whoop and holler.

When Katniss sees the medicine, she can't really help herself though and starts to cry. Almost brings a tear to my eye.

"How'd he know it was you?" Chaff asks me.

"I showed him your Games," Brutus speaks up. He looks white as a sheet, but he keeps talking. "I showed him parts of your interviews before and after. You... there was a boy. Wasn't there?"

I nod, not really wanting to talk anymore about it. That memory is one that I've tried to drink away, but I can't.

The other men seem to understand, and they slip away from me to their own stations. But it seems as if I've put it off long enough—I have to start making the case for Gale and Katniss's love.

I dismiss myself from the guys, and since Johanna Mason doesn't have any tributes left, I leave her in charge of Peeta and Katniss. I head upstairs to get dressed and have a few drinks on the way to prepare myself for something that I've been dreading.

The parties are fun, the drinks are cold and smooth, but something feels off, and always has.

It's probably because I don't fit in here—i don't fit in with these Capitol people. While they like to drink to the tributes each year and throw away money to buy a kid some medicine or a box of matches, i don't.

Everyone knows that I am the one who sent the medicine to Rue because of Gale's declaration. Half of them don't really understand it and choose to avoid me while the other half is buying me drinks. I'm not really sure I understand it myself and I'm really not sure why, but I keep refusing their drinks.

But I put on a smile and I try to assure myself that this is the best way to help her win—to help her get back to her sister and mother—but what is she really winning? Is it a lifetime of trying to drink away the memories with her best friend? Will she cry for weeks because she never really knew how he felt, or will she turn to the bottle as I have? It's not something one should really think about at a party, but here I sit, with a drink in my hand and a smile on my face, contemplating whether I'm really making the best decision for Katniss.

The Capitolites enjoy the drama in the air—the talk of _love_. It kills them to know that Katniss will have to make a sacrifice for Gale, or he will have to make one for her. "A modern day Romeo & Juliet!" the President declares to the people of the Capitol, and as much as I don't want to, I have to go along with the charade

"To star-crossed lovers!" I shout to the people of the party as I raise my glass. "Doomed to be together—but always pushed apart! This tragedy will not have a happy ending for one of them, but Gale is trying to sacrifice himself for the girl he loves! The Girl on Fire, that's who I'm talking about!"

But really, who's making the sacrifice? Who will pay for what Gale is doing in the long run? This is the thought that haunts me as I present my case to these people.

After the party scene is mostly dead, I head to my room in the Training Center for a quick shower and some clean clothes, not even bothering to shave. When I arrive, Brutus quickly catches me up: "Not much today, Abernathy. They killed one girl from five—the Careers, that is—and the whole time Peeta was shouting for them to give mercy."

"Mercy? Doesn't really sound like a Career to me," I remark.

Brutus shakes his head, "No it does not. Wonder what he's cooking."

Chaff comes to join our conversation, bringing Johanna and Finnick Odair from 4 with him. I like the two of them enough because they seem to have a distaste for the Capitol that's almost equal to mine. I click another screen on the monitor to see Peeta, withdrawn, silent, and whittling away at a stick with his knife. What _is_ he thinking? "Revenge, maybe?" I offer to group.

"No," Finnick responds. "He's going to try to lead them away from Katniss. He's already affirmed the fact that Katniss is terrible with a bow."

I can't help but laugh, "Finnick is right—Peeta is covering for her. She's the best damn shot in the district, possibly the nation. Gale's good, but Katniss is _better_."

The four of them nod in unison. Only Johanna speaks up, "What the hell is Peeta planning by staying in with the Careers then?"

I shake my head, "Wish i could tell you."


	13. Statement

A/N: Told you guys i wouldn't give up on you! Sorry, my connecting problems suck really bad so i'm having to post like 2-3 chapters at a time, lol. but really, review, PM, etc, any suggestions you have about anything you'd like to see in any of the characters. I love taking requests! Helps the writer's block a little bit!

* * *

When we wake, Rue's burn is almost back to fully healed, and I can honestly say I'm not mad about it. Katniss was worried sick the entire time Rue was passed out from the pain—almost as if it really was _Prim_, not some random tribute we happened to ally with in the arena. But eventually I came to worry too.

The medicine was from Haymitch, that much I am certain of. I watched his Games, and I've seen how much liquor the man can consume—he was trying to keep Katniss away from the memories and the guilt. I just hoped he saw my salute as a thank you, in fact, I hope everyone did.

Katniss stirs just as the sun is coming up, and I hold her close to me for fear of her missing such a beautiful moment. My father always encouraged finding something different and beautiful everyday, so that we don't miss out on the joys in life. So far, every single day in this arena has had something beautiful to do with Katniss, and I like the variety of finding something else beautiful. I kiss her as the sun peeks through the trees and shines light on her face. She smiles and kisses me quickly before pulling away, making some excuse about leaving early.

It's about the fourth time she's pulled away from me, and honestly i'm almost to the point where it's pissing me off. Doesn't she realize that our relationship could earn her sponsors?

Doesn't she realize that my feelings are real?

Maybe that's what it is—Katniss thinks I'm putting her on for the Games and for the cameras. She thinks I'm using my profession of my feelings as a final way of sending her home... But that's not it at all.

But maybe still, there's a voice at the back of my head, one that I have been ignoring for a very long time, possibly since I realized Peeta loved her too.

_Maybe she loves Peeta._

No, she can't. She's always been with _me_, been _my_ best friend, always been there for _me_. She can't love him. She can't choose him over me. He's a _baker's son_ for goodness sakes. Is that why she's been so distant with me? Because she knows that showing feelings for me will get her home, regardless of how she really feels?

I sit on a fallen log and let the internal war wage itself. Eventually, Katniss realizes I haven't moved for breakfast, or to pack up the stuff, or to even leave, and comes to sit beside me, slipping her hand inside mine. I stare at the two—my hands are so much larger than hers, more square, darker in color. But yet, i know Katniss and I are cut from the same cloth, woven from the same material. We've both had to fight all of our lives for everything we have, and Peeta has been handed everything. It isn't fair that he should be handed the girl that I've had to work so hard to make fall in love with me.

"What is wrong with you today?"

I shake my head and pull my hand from her, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

She turns away from me, muttering something about being unbelievable. I assume it's directed at me, but I realize that I don't really care. She calls to Rue to take the knife and scout a half mile or so ahead, and not to engage anybody unless she's forced, before sitting back down with me.

"Tell me what's bothering you, Gale."

I shrug, "It's the same old thing as ever, Catnip. When we're hunting, I can read you like an open book: I know every move you're going to make before you make it. But here..." My voice gets thick, and she puts her arms around me to comfort me before kissing my cheek.

I jump up, out of her arms. "Of course you'd do that," I spit at her. Her face shows no emotion, but her eyes show that she's hurt. I wish I didn't know her so well, but i do, so I keep talking. "You only want to be near me or kiss me or show me any kind of favor when I'm hurt. It's like you only want to be with me when I'm vulnerable. And I need to know why."

"What do you mean, Gale?" Katniss whispers.

I put a hand on my hip and rub the bridge of my nose with the other. "Do you love him?" I ask her. I don't have to name him for her to know who I'm talking about.

She shakes her head.

"Then why are you being so short with me? You never used to be this way. It's only been about the last three days—since we joined up with Rue—but you have never pulled away from me. Why now?"

Katniss reaches out to touch my chest, but I can't resist her, so I pull her in close, resting my cheek on top of her head, breathing in the smell of her hair. "I'm so scared, Gale," she whispers.

She waits a moment before pulling back and looking at me. The look in her eyes is so...vulnerable, as if I've just clotheslined her with no warning. "I'm afraid that I'm really going to fall in love with you, and then you'll be gone... J-Just another victim of the Games," her words slip into tears, and soon they are muffled into my chest as i kiss her forehead.

I pull her back by her shoulders and look her in her eyes, "I love you, Katniss Everdeen. Girl on Fire or not, i always have. And i will _never_ let anything hurt you." She smiles softly and returns the kiss. Just like before, on the roof, this one goes deeper, her hands tangling in my hair, my hands running their way down her curves... building and building.

"_Help me!... _Katniss! ... Gale! Please, oh my God,_ help me_!"

I turn to Katniss as she turns to me, we whisper in unison, "_Rue_."

We run the easy half mile in the direction of the screaming, weapons drawn and supplies easily forgotten. And there she hangs, caught in a net and suspended in the tree. I quickly survey the area to make sure it's not one of my snares and am thankful when I realize that it isn't.

"Cut her down, _now_," Katniss pants, bow and arrow drawn against any impending attack. I take out the knife and begin cutting, and cutting, every inch of rope I can find until Rue comes tumbling out of the net, breathless as I hold her.

I feel Katniss's arm around me, thankful that Rue is safe, if only for now. I stand up, hand Rue her knife and try to at the girl, "You scared us, so badly," I say, because I'm honestly at a loss for anything other than the obvious. Katniss looks to be more nervous by the second, "Let's get out of here, okay?" She nods and takes my hand as we head out of the clearing and back to our camp.

I hear a chuckle behind me, and in the second I turn to throw my knife—it's too late.

With a knife in his throat, Katniss unloads two arrows into Marvel's chest, all but ignoring what is most important.

Rue lays on the ground, panting, with a full spear caught in her chest, hand still in mine.

Katniss sinks to her knees with Rue, and I know that Prim is the only thing crossing her mind. Rue just lies there, panting, breathless, unable to stop what we know will kill her. I don't want to deal with this, I don't want this memory. I walk over to where Marvel is laying, throat slit and arrows in his chest.

I can feel the hot tears coming, but I just let them fall. Marvel lets out a gurgling chuckle, "Did... did you honestly think you could...get them b-both home?"

I kick him in his side, over and over until the cannon sounds, and even after that. I can feel Katniss staring at me, but the anger is just too much for me. "Gale... Stop..." Katniss whispers.

"How do I deal with this?!" I scream at her. She just stares at me in the same way she used to when i would scream and rant in the valley. "How do I _live_ with this?! How will _you_? How does _anyone live with this_?!" I strain, gesturing to Rue. "She wasn't just a tribute, she wasn't just some person we were supposed to kill. She was someone's _baby_," I choke. The tears just keep coming, and I walk to where Rue lays before sinking to my knees.

I fold her hands on her chest and close her eyes, "She really was like Prim is to you or like Rory, Posy, and Vick are to me. Katniss, where does it _stop_?"

I know what I'm saying is considered traitorous, but I can't say I give a damn either. All these years of rants against the Capitol—of hating everything they stand for—and now i'm actually in a position to do something about it. Katniss, realizing that I'm done ranting, surrenders herself to my arms, trying hard not to cry.

She puts her lips to my ear and kisses my cheek. "We can change it the Game," she whispers where no one can hear. She leaves me, still on my knees, and gets up and walks to the edge of the meadow to the flowers that are there. She picks an armful and walks back to where Rue lays, placing them around her.

"She looks like she's sleeping," I observe. Katniss nods in agreement, as if that's the point, _help me_.

When we're done, Rue looks like a beautiful, sleeping angel. We walk off from her sleeping figure and Marvel's battered body and I grab Katniss's hand to turn her around.

Just like I did to Haymitch, I don't even care if the audience sees—because I know the Capitol and the Gamemakers will. I kiss the three middle fingers of my left hand before raising it to the sky, to whatever cameras are watching, I look down at Katniss to see that she's doing the same.

She's right—we can change the game.

And we have to, for children like Rue.

...

"Did you hear that?" Clove whispers to us.

I casually shake my head. Of course I heard it, but i know who's voice it was too, and I'm trying my hardest to lead them away from her and him.

"He should have been back hours ago," Clove spits. I know she's pissed at me because I didn't want to go with Marvel to hunt, but I'd rather have my eye on Clove than him.

"And what about those two cannons?" Marlee, from four, asks.

I just shake my head, "Hopefully he killed the bastard from two and that girl from 12 so we don't have to."

Clove's neck turns to me so fast that for a second I'm afraid that she's broken her neck. "Why on Earth would you say that?" she sarcastically asks.

"Because," I chuckle, "The Girl on Fire is a whiz with knives too. Unlike you, she didn't show off in Training. She knows every move and every secret you have. That makes her dangerous."

I stand up to face her, "Besides that, she has it out for you. She probably killed Glimmer for looking at Hawthorne the wrong way. What makes you think she doesn't have the same agenda for you?"

"And furthermore," I say, "It's almost dark. We don't know what kind of supplies she and Hawthorne have."

She just shakes her head and sits back down to sharpen her knives.

The kid from 3, whatever his name is, rigged together all the bombs from under the starting plates to guard our food. I could kind of careless, because I don't plan on staying with this group much longer anyway.

The anthem plays and we all turn our heads to the sky to see who's all died today. I halfheartedly hope to see Gale's face first, but then squash the thought before looking at my shoes. I don't really want to see the face of some kid who had to die for the Capitol's entertainment.

Clove gasps, Marlee drops the food she was eating, and both boys from 3 and 4 grab their weapons. "What the hell?" I ask.

"Marvel," Clove gasps. "The bastards killed Marvel while he was _alone_!"

I turn my head to the sky and see the next face to appear: Rue.

"Marvel probably killed that girl, and Gale and Katniss killed him because of it," Clove shrieks.

"Okay, okay," I try to calm everyone down by taking a stick from the ground. "Who's left?... The five of us," I draw all of our names in the dirt. "Thresh, Gale, Katniss, and... Is that it?" I ask the group. Every one nods.

"Okay, so we only have to hunt down three more people and then our group is left. Why are we panicking, again?"

This seems to calm everyone down enough to sleep, so I volunteer to take the first watch. Everyone finds a sleeping bag and gathers around the fire, content with the information I've given them. I didn't realize the numbers were becoming what they were—it's almost time for me to run and find Gale and Katniss.

When everyone is asleep enough, i begin to pack a backpack with enough food and weapons to get me through a few days while I try to find the two of them. I look back over their sleeping figures, not watching where I'm going, and successfully knocking over cans of food that were in my way.

Clove peeks up from her sleeping bag... To see me... With a backpack... Running away from the group.

Perfect.

She yells for the rest of them to wake up, flinging knives my way. i catch one in the thigh, and I know it's deep enough to not pull it out until I'm safe. Adrenaline takes over, and I flee into the forest, hoping the cover of night is enough to hide from Clove.


	14. Reaction

I manage to keep myself together long enough to get our supplies from our camp and get Katniss somewhere safe for the night. But as soon as we get settled in the tree I start crying just as much as she had. How did we manage to get this attached to someone like Rue?

The anthem plays and the faces of Marvel and Rue fill the sky—today's only dead. "Peeta's still alive," Katniss observes. "Shocking that the Careers haven't caught up to him after he abandoned Rue."

"Wonder where the hell he is."

Katniss puts her head on my chest and starts to cry again. Whether it's from the drama of the day or from Peeta being alive, or even being happy that we're together, I don't know. All i know is that she's safe, she's here with me. After a while, she cries herself out and I can hear the deep breaths that prove to me she's asleep.

Katniss sleeps peacefully for the first time since we've been together in the arena, and I honestly couldn't be happier to let her sleep. My shoulder goes numb after a few minutes, but I don't want to move. A happy Katniss who's had a full night's sleep is alot easier to deal with than a grumpy sleep-deprived Katniss.

I catch myself almost drifting to sleep when I hear a sound in the leaves above me. I tense, jarring Katniss, and realize that it's just a parachute. The only thing I could possibly need right now is a tissue or a dry shirt since Katniss used mine as a tear collector, so I decide to leave it until daylight.

I wake Katniss to switch shifts a few hours before dark so she could sleep longer than I will. She gives me a stern look in the darkness. _Why not earlier?_

I just shake my head at her. She just can't understand that I'm going to die soon, for her. I try to back my head against the tree to sleep, but eventually the parachute bothers me enough to point it out to Katniss and climb up to get it.

It's not very big or very heavy unlike the last parachute with the medicine. I look at Katniss and smile, opening the box eagerly, like Posy whenever i bring her candies. It's an unfamiliar loaf of bread and doesn't look like anything from our district. _What do you think of this? _I look at Katniss.

"It's from 11," she realizes. "It's from Rue's district. It's a-a.. thank you, for what we did."

"So that means they saw it."

She nods and starts shifting around so I can get some sleep for a few hours. Since I was brutally woken from my last sleep, I start to look around uneasily, just waiting for something to go wrong.

"What on earth are you doing?" Katniss chuckles.

"Just trying to make sure we aren't ambushed or anything."

She narrows her eyes at me, "Isn't that the whole point of having someone keep watch? I got you out alive from the fireballs, didn't I?" I nod, realizing that I've already lost the fight.

"Besides," she adds, "Rue and Marvel were enough drama to keep everyone at home interested. We should be safe for tonight."

I snort, "Right, Catnip. 'Safe.'"

She quietly giggles, "That's the first time you've called me Catnip in a few days."

"Thought you hated the nickname anyway?" I yawn.

"Oh, i do. I just know how much you like it." She starts to hum an unfamiliar song, and soon it turns to singing. I think it's _The Hanging Tree_, but i'm not really sure. I start drift away to the sound of her voice, rolling over on the thick branch so I can view the sky from my back.

They actually have stars out for this arena, it's honestly a nice touch that makes me wish i could go back home to 12. I know it's out of the question because I have to die so Katniss can stay alive. But what if i didn't have to? What if there could be two Victors?

My eyes snap open. _Two_ Victors? That's never happened before. Could it be possible? I want to talk to Katniss about it and see what she thinks, but the damn cameras are everywhere—someone would over hear. I decide the conversation can wait until i have a chance to whisper to her, so i content myself with the stars and the sound of her singing.

A star shoots across the sky, and I remember what my dad always told me about shooting stars. "Whenever you see one, it means you can have one free wish. It will always come true." I can even remember saying the same words to Posy shortly after he died. I close my eyes tightly, wishing that I could go home with my best friend after this is over.

When we wake up the next morning, we decide to find something a little more permanent instead of staying in trees. We take all of our belongings and try to find somewhere we can hole up until the games are over. Easier said than done.

We follow the stream until it flows out into a tiny lake, much like the one we used to go swimming in at home. I start to grin and look at Katniss. "You know, Catnip. You could use a bath," I purr.

"Ohhh no, Gale," Katniss shrieks and giggles, "No! Gale! Gale!" She squeals as I throw her into the river, clothes and all. It must be deeper than i thought it was, because she comes up sputtering and red faced.

"Now hurry up and get clean so I can wash off!" I yell back at her, weapon ready just in case someone were to come by. She should be thanking me, honestly. It's nearly 90° today, I'm glad the Gamemakers have seen fit to try to kill us all by heatstroke.

She strips out of her outerwear and starts to wash off the grime and dirt we've collected for the past few days, scrubbing her clothes a little too. When she's clean enough, she steps out on one of the rocks in the sunlight, extending her hand so I'll help pull her up. She raises her eyebrows at me, and I know I've made the wrong decision. She giggles, pulling me into the water with her. "Payback sucks, doesn't it, Hawthorne!"

"Oh, you're going to pay for that one, Catnip!" I scream as I toss her up and back into the water. When she surfaces, I kiss her face. It's almost like back in 12, no worries, no stress.

She takes the bow from me and sits on a wide rock, almost like the one we wait for each other on in the woods. I wash myself as best as I can, stripping out of my clothes too. Katniss quiets down as I sit on the rock beside her, almost baking in the heat to dry our under clothes, spreading the outerwear on rocks beside us.

"Do you remember teaching me to swim?" I ask Katniss.

She smiles and rolls on her stomach, "Of course I do. You literally looked like a fish out of water," she giggles. We know we have to be careful with the details, since we're not allowed out of 12, but it's nice to dwell on the memory for a while.

"You weren't the best teacher either!" I chuckle. The silence falls easily between us, and I catch myself almost taking a nap in the heat.

Katniss has been better since Rue's death, she seems as if she's accepted it... if only slightly. The bread from 11 certainly helped her in her conviction, and I know that having company is helping too. I know she worries for Peeta—eagerly watching the skies every night—but I don't know if it's on a friend-only level or not. It bugs me a bit that I'm sincerely worried about it, combing over every conversation we've had since we were reaped, and realizing not once did she say she loved me with any conviction. I don't know if she's trying to save it or if she even means it at all.

Maybe it'll change once Peeta dies, maybe not. I look at her figure beside me, noticing that she's fallen asleep on the rock while i mulled my thoughts. I grab the bow and sit up, deciding to let her sleep until our clothes dry. She hasn't gotten much sleep over the last two days anyway.

When my clothes are dry, i put them back on and wake her up. She smiles sweetly and starts to put on her clothes too, "Do you want to hunt?"

I smirk, "Is the answer to that question ever no?"

She pulls the bow from me and hands me the knives. I've actually gotten pretty good at hunting with them, and I almost wish I were going home to 12 so I could try hunting our woods with them. Almost a dumb wish, but I can still hope.

* * *

"It's ridiculous out there," Johanna reports. "People are all excited about what happened with Hawthorne and your Girl on Fire."

"They've even made teeshirts that say 'Everthorne' on them," Finnick chuckles. "People really like Gale."

"Why do you think that is?" Brutus asks. "I mean, he _did_ desert his alliance first chance he got."

I shake my head, "It has nothing to do with that. People always liked Gale because he was the one Katniss loves. Even if she isn't really showing it lately. But now... They've seen an emotional side of him."

"Right, that's right," Finnick agrees. "Rue's death actually affected him. Proving he's not a true Career—he's only District 2's tribute in name only. But he acts like he's from 12."

"And Finnick, you just don't really get it because you were from a Career district," Johanna retorts. "Only Careers like other Careers. Nobody really cared for Gale because he was a Career, they only tolerated him. Now that he's shown he has a heart..."

Brutus smiles, "People actually like him."

"Okay, great. But what about the districts?" I probe.

Johanna shakes her head, "It's not good, Haymitch. What Everdeen did with the flowers two days ago... That was risky. She's actually making them take accountability. That's not good."

Of course it wasn't good, none of it was. But it was gutsy enough to earn the approval of district 11. Chaff told me the sponsorship money skyrocketed, he felt he had to send some type of thank you to Katniss.

Which was why we were all gathered at my station: Finnick, Johanna, Chaff, Brutus, and I, discussing who was left.

"Thresh will fend for himself. It'll be an even fight between him and Gale," Chaff remarks. "But he respects Katniss. He's said that from the beginning."

"Is respect enough to sacrifice yourself so someone else can go home?" Johanna spits.

The solemn words make us all fall silent.

"So Peeta has broken his alliance with the Careers, and Clove killed one of my tributes because she was so pissed off," Finnick says. "So now they're after him, Hawthorne, and Katniss. All with murder in cold blood on their minds."

I nod, "_If_ Peeta survives."

Peeta's survival was a decision that had really split the group—even though it was my decision to make and not theirs. He had managed to escape Clove and the other careers, but the knife was buried deep in his thigh. He had made a tourniquet out of his belt and pulled out the knife. But he'd lost so much blood, and he didn't have the sponsorship money like Katniss did. The infection medicine Peeta needed had suddenly skyrocketed—which was to be expected this late in the game.

He'd managed to cover himself within the trees, but the trail of blood was highly noticeable and I knew it would end up getting him killed.

Gale and Katniss had been on the move, trying to find a more permanent place to camp and so far gettin' nothing. Peeta was holed up a half mile from them along the river, and it looked like today they would finally find the river... and hopefully Peeta.


	15. Reunited

We decide to walk upriver a little way from our camp before we start really hunting. We've been lazy about being silent in the woods, but since we aren't in the shade of the trees, we decide to giggle to ourselves and make jokes to each other. The heat doesn't lessen, and I'm hoping the animals have decided to come out and be productive so we can kill them.

Even walking beside the rushing water, Katniss easily takes down two squirrels, "You haven't gotten anything yet, Hawthorne! Where's your competitive spirit?"

"I'll show you competitive spirit," I grumble, knowing I can't hunt as well as she can with a bow.

Just as i'm about to tease her for the messy braid to get even, something grabs my ankles.

My first instinct is to throw the knife, but Katniss reaches out to grab my hand, "Stop!" she screams, realizing what I'm about to do.

"Is that... _Peeta_?!" she screams again.

And in one second, she has crouched down, rubbed off the camo on Peeta's face, and is crying at the sight of him. "You-you're.. alive," she cries into his chest

He wraps his arms around her and soothes her, and I feel as if I've been deflated. She actually cares for him. If i didn't believe it before, this confirms it.

I walk off a few feet, pissed off that fucking Peeta Mellark has come back. Why couldn't he just stay gone, doing whatever he was doing? Why did he have to come back and ruin everything, just as Katniss was starting to really open up to me?

I look back to see Katniss helping him up, but he hobbles on one leg. I can't see for sure, but it looks like he has his belt tied around it, and alot of blood. Damn it. He's here, and he's injured.

"What the hell happened to you?" I spit, a little more acidly than I intended.

His face is too pale for comfort, and judging by the would i would say he's lost alot of blood, but he just fucking smiles and holds up the hunting knife, "Clove decided to put this in my thigh." And then he passes out almost toppling Katniss.

I groan and help her carry him back to our camp, plopping him up next to a tree.

"This is too open," I observe.

Katniss nods, "Weren't we looking for somewhere more secluded anyway?"

"I'll go look for something," I offer. "He'd probably rather see you whenever he wakes up anyway." But really I just need to get the fuck out of here. If Katniss knows, she doesn't say anything, she just lets me go be by myself.

I take the bow with me, shooting three squirrels that will serve as dinner in addition to the ones we've already killed. I don't know when the last time Peeta ate was, so i shoot two more just to be sure. I don't realize it until I hear the leaves crunching, but I'm stomping in anger.

First Peeta deflates me, then he takes me out of my game in the woods. What a good joke.

I silence my steps in the woods to where I almost become invisible. I study the details of the forest, looking for anything that doesn't belong, like an animal.

I don't find many more though, because thunderclouds start to gather overhead. It'll be hard to stay in a tree tonight, especially with Peeta's condition.

I keep walking, determined to find some canopy that doesn't belong. Instead, I see a curtain of ivy. Not something that anyone would catch, but I see it, and that's enough. I walk over to it and pull back the curtain with my bow drawn. It's a small cave, but big enough that Peeta could rest here comfortably, and Katniss and I could stay here too. I retreat from the cave and run to where Katniss and Peeta are to show them this cave.

...

Rain. Two damn days of rain. I don't really know what the Gamemakers are trying to do besides flood the arena, and i really don't care. Clove's rage is becoming to the point where I can't take it, I might just go to the arena and kill her myself.

I check the status of the remaining tributes. Counting those that Clove has killed out of rage, only Gale, Katniss, Peeta, Thresh, Clove, and the boy from 3 remain.

And judging by the screams, if the Gamemakers don't cut this rain soon, the boy from 3 will die by the end of the night.

Peeta has gotten worse, slipping in and out of consciousness because of his fever. But I don't have the money to send him medicine, even if i pull Katniss's money with his, it's not enough by half. I've been out to parties every night, selling the drama as best as I can, but no one is really biting.

Gale hasn't really spoken to her since she freaked out over Peeta coming back, and I can't say i blame him. I'd be pretty pissed off too, but his time is growing short, and I think he honestly knows that

Seneca Crane comes into the Mentoring Room to make an announcement. It's not uncommon, but it hasn't happened since the last Hunger Games, so we know this must be important.

"Okay, everyone, listen up. We've been getting some outrageous requests concerning sponsors and things of that nature. The Board of Gamemakers has made a decision, and we will announce it to the districts and the tributes tonight at 8 pm. There will be no overturning it, that's it," he simply states, turning on his heel and heading back to the Gamemaker room.

"What the hell was that about?" Johanna asks.

I turn to look at her, "I don't know. But I have a feeling it's not going to be good, whatever it is."

We turn back to the monitor showing Katniss. I look at the tablet for Peeta's vitals and notice that he's getting worse. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. With Peeta asleep and the rain pounding away outside their cave, Gale decides to scoot closer to Katniss for the first time in days.

"I'm sorry I flaked out on you," Gale says.

Katniss shakes her head, "No, no. I understand why. I can't even imagine how you feel."

Gale looks at his feet, "You know I'm doing everything I can to make sure you get home safely, right?"

"Yeah, I know," Katniss affirms. She looks at him and takes his face in her hands so she can see his eyes. "You don't think Peeta is?"

"Honestly?" Gale asks. Katniss nods. "No, I don't. I think he's only looking out for number one."

Katniss shakes her head, "Why?"

"Let's look at the facts," Gale says. "Who came looking for you as soon as the Games started? Who's protected you all this time? Who keeps telling you he's going to send you home? Who held you through your tears and let you sleep on his shoulder every night since we've been in this arena? Who, Katniss?

"I know, Gale. It's you."

"Who joined up with the careers until they almost killed him? Who's ignored you this entire time? Who only showed his face because he's near death and we're healthy?

"I know what you're saying," Katniss says. A tear rolls down her cheek, "But.."

"But what?" Gale seethes.

She can't look in his eyes, so she gets up and crosses to the other end of the cave. "I just don't know, Gale. Both of you have to die for me to go home, right?" Gale nods his head. "I can't..." she starts to cry even harder.

Gale gets up and walks over to her, putting his arm around her shoulder. "Can't what, Catnip?"

"I can't live without you, Gale," she cries into his chest. She pulls back at arms length to look in his eyes, "I can't do it. But you're forcing it on me. No one ever asked me what I wanted out of this."

The camera zooms in on Gale's face, and the mentoring room is silent. "What do you want?"

Katniss sniffles again, glancing into Gale's eyes before looking down at Peeta's sleeping figure. "I—I want Peeta to make it out alive... Not me."

The whole mentoring room stays silent, and I'm sure more than one mouth is open. Is this what she's been holding back from Gale all this time? Brutus looks at me, his mouth wide open. I'm sure my expression is similar.

"Wha—what? Why..." Gale's mouth still hangs open, and I'm honestly surprised he can even form words.

Katniss takes a deep breath and wipes her tears away. "Gale, you know that you're the other half of me. I—I love you. If you sacrifice yourself and I go home.. What am i going to do without you?"

He takes her chin in his hands and tilts her face towards his. "You'll survive, because that's what you do, Katniss. You'll go home to riches and you'll feed your sister and mother, and my family too. You'll find a way to live. Because you know that's what I want for you. _A life_."

The tears start to roll down his face, "I thought going to district 2 and becoming a Peacekeeper would protect you. I'd have enough money to provide for you and when I was done I could marry you. And when I was reaped, all i could think about was winning the games and coming home to you. When I won, i could've married you then." He takes her hand in his, "But then you were reaped too, and ever since that moment all I've thought about is getting you home."

"But Gale—"

"Hush," he soothes, "Let me finish... I've been in love with you for a long time. You have to live, Katniss, just accept that for me, please?"

"Why, Gale? What makes you think it's going to be any easier for me to live without you?"

Gale shakes his head, "I don't know that it'll be any easier. But I have to protect you."

"You've done a great job so far," Katniss replies. "But you have to let me make my own decision. And I don't know if I can go back to district 12 with only your ghost for company."

Gale groans, "I love you, Catnip."

She nods and surrenders to his arms again. I smile and look at Brutus, "Check out the sponsor money."

"It's rising... Is that enough for Peeta's medicine?"

I check the monitor again, "No. But she's on the right track, I have to let her know that."

With another click, i send the hot soup (enough for the three of them) in the cave. Katniss looks down at it and smiles, understanding my message. Gale smiles a sad smile, because I know he understands what's going on as well.

Confessions of love = more sponsor money.

More sponsor money = food and other goodies.

"We should probably feast, with this rain, i'm not sure when we're going to get another opportunity to hunt," Gale surrenders. Katniss nods and takes a little of it, trying to get Peeta to eat.

I turn from the monitor and check the clock. It's only four, and the announcement comes on later tonight, so i put the kid's in Johanna and Finnick's hands before pulling out a cot and getting some rest.

When I wake up, it's 7:45. Brutus brings me up to speed on what's happened (which is nothing) and I take my place in front of the monitor as we wait for the Gamemaker's announcement.

On one side of the monitor, Seneca Crane steps up to a platform and podium, the other side shows the different tributes in the arena.

"Attention Tributes: We are inviting you to a feast at the Cornucopia. Each of you have something you need, desperately, and we're feeling...generous. It will begin at dawn. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor."

Aw, shit.

"They haven't done a feast since..." Johanna begins. But she can't finish her sentence, because we're all thinking the same thing.

They haven't done a feast since _my_ Games. Nearly 25 years ago.

I look at the screen, Peeta's mouth is turned down in horror. He grabs Katniss's wrist and tries to look at her. Katniss has already set her jaw with determination and shakes loose of Peeta's wrist to begin prepping her bow.

Gale's reaction is similar to Peeta's, only he grabs her wrists and takes the bow from her.

My reaction mirrors Gale's, and I know he's thinking exactly what I'm thinking.

Katniss is going to kill herself trying to get some help for Peeta


	16. Sacrifice

a/n: last chapter for today! we're almost done D: now, for all the anon questions I've been getting, the chapter with the Author's Note isn't an actual chapter, the story continues with the next one, I just put that there so you guys didn't think i had abandoned you, lol.

* * *

"Out of the question," I snap. Katniss and I have been at this all night since they announced the feast.

Peeta, who has actually stayed awake since the announcement, echoes me, "You can't go."

"But he _needs_ it, I can't just sit back and let him _die_ Gale!"

"Oh yes, you can," I say. "It's easy. You avoid the feast, keep breathing. It's a nice plan; I like it." I cross my arms and give her my most intimidating look, daring her to argue with me.

"Gale's right," Peeta rasps. "I was going to have to die anyway. It's easier this way."

I throw my hands up—even if i'd had her almost convinced to stay in the cave, Peeta's rasping just sealed the deal in her determination. Katniss smiles because she knows she's won.

"Fine, Catnip. You win. But, I'm going with you. Hell, I might even go myself," I declare, grabbing the weapons.

"That's out of the question," Katniss snaps back.

I smirk at her, "Oh really? What's the alternative? I let you go alone? I go alone?"

She shakes her head, "Fine. We go together."

Peeta tries to sit up in the corner, "No. Katniss. You can't."

She looks at me, pleading, _What do i do?_ I shake my head.

"We'll be better as a team. Much better chance of us getting back if we hunt together," I say.

Peeta starts to get worked up, but he starts to cough so badly he ends up passing out again. Katniss presses her hand against his forehead, "He's burning up. We have to get the medicine soon."

She looks outside, "Can't be that long before dawn, right?"

I nod, still too pissed off to speak.

Katniss takes the sleeping bag and covers Peeta with it, hoping to break his fever, I guess. I sharpen the knives on a stone and gather all the arrows we have. Since we have a little time, I practice throwing the knives at different objects in the cave while doing a mental check of who's left.

"Us, Thresh, Clove, and the girl from 4, right?" I say aloud, not really directed at anyone.

"Yep," Katniss answers. She looks down at Peeta's sleeping bag, "What are we going to do with him?"

I shake my head, "Hope someone else kills him, I guess."

Katniss furrows her brow, "What do you mean by that?"

I throw the knife and it thuds against the soft wall of the cave across from me. Sticking perfectly. I throw another knife at the same spot, only missing by a half inch. I'm getting pretty damn good.

I look up and see her tapping her foot, waiting on my answer.

"Well," I groan, "Peeta's got to die to get you home, right? i know you're not going to want to do it, and I'm not really thrilled about killing someone we know from home. So i'm just hoping someone else does it and I don't have to worry about it."

Katniss is satisfied with my answer and doesn't say anything else.

As the sky begins to get lighter, I take the bow and hand it to her before grabbing the knives. "Time to leave," I announce. "Let's go hunting, Catnip."

Katniss smiles sweetly before taking the bow from me and walking to the mouth of the cave.

"What's that smile for?" I ask.

"That was very sweet of you, Gale."

"What? Trying to keep you alive? I'm glad you find it romantic, since it's going to get more intense the next few days."

She smiles again. "No," she hesitates then stands on her tip toes to kiss me full on the mouth, "for not letting me go alone. I love you too. Thanks for having my back."

I shrug, "It's almost dawn, Catnip." She grins back, _let's go_. With Peeta out cold, we exit the cave, surveying the area around. I point in the direction of the cornucopia, hoping that I've got my directions right. She begins to lead us through the woods, making ourselves silent and invisible in the cover of the darkness before dawn.

We come to the clearing in front of the cornucopia. In front of us sit four bags with numbers on them, either 2, 4, 11 or 12. I know that the district 2 bag isn't for me, because the only thing I really need right now is for Peeta to get better. And besides that, I'm from 12 anyway.

Katniss is the faster of us, so I try to form a plan to get one of us in on the bags. I know she's the best chance, but I just cant risk letting her go.

"Cover me?" Katniss whispers, handing me the bow. "I'm faster—it's the best shot."

I know she's right, so I nod against my better judgement and switch weapons before I watch her dash into the clearing. I set the bow anywhere I can see movement, but I don't see Clove in time.

She comes from the edge of the cornucopia as if she had been waiting for Katniss. She throws a knife, and I see Katniss duck just in time where it scrapes her forehead. She throws one of the knives, but Clove is on top of her quickly, and they each have a knife at the other's throat.

Fuck.

And I can't get a good shot. Fuck, fuck.

I see Thresh sprint from the other end of the field, towards the two girls. They roll, and I see Katniss on top, trying to choke the life out of Clove. I take off from my hiding place, firing arrows as i can. Katniss rolls with Clove again to where she's underneath her so I have a clear shot, but my attention is focused on keeping Thresh away from them. "Any...time...Gale!" Katniss struggles.

Clove gets the upper hand and smiles down at Katniss with her knife at her throat, "We killed your friend. Rue, wasn't that her name? Well, she wasn't much of a fight anyway, was she? Just wait," she laughs evilly, "I'm going to kill you. And then, i'm going to kiss your boyfriend. Before I kill him too."

I can hear Katniss struggle, but I approach Thresh, throwing down the bow and arrows towards Katniss, hoping she can reach them, before going at him in full brute force. I slug him across the face, but he's just as big as I am and just as strong.

He hits me twice more across the face, and I'm positive he's broken my nose. He knocks me to the ground, I pull his legs out from under him and climbing back on top of him, hitting as hard as I can. But for every good hit I make, Thresh is equally as strong and isn't as effected as I am. "_Enough!_" He screams, throwing me down and kicking me in the ribs, probably breaking them too, and I can feel the blood rushing from my face.

I try to regroup, I can't let him hurt her, but Thresh is already at Clove and Katniss. He picks Clove up by her jacket and slams her against the cornucopia.

"YOU KILLED RUE?"

Clove panics, "No.. No i didn't! Marvel did! It wasn't me!"

"I HEARD YOU. YOU KILLED RUE." And with one move, he slams her head against the cornucopia, easily killing her. He looks down at Katniss and looks back at me. I can only imagine the sight we are, both of us with blood rushing down our faces, and me with an arm around my ribs.

His face tenses, and I'm positive he's going to kill her in front of me. I lunge forward, but the pain in my ribs is too much and I almost collapse in front of him. Katniss looks at me and sprints until she's in front of me, bow and arrow drawn in a protective stance.

Thresh grimaces, "Just this time. If I win, I want to beat the best." And runs for the fields.

Katniss exhales before walking back to get the package with 12 on it, and 2 just to be sure. She takes inventory of me, guessing that several ribs are broken too.

"Fuck," I pant. "You'll have to kill Thresh now."

She nods as she slips my arm around her shoulders so I can walk, "I'm better with an arrow. That'll come in handy."

Clove is dead. I think the kid from four is dead.

Only me, Katniss, Peeta, and Thresh.

The Game is almost over.

...

It takes us nearly the full day to get back to the cave. We don't have to be near as careful since it's just us and Thresh out in the woods. Katniss is all smiles and giggles as we go since she got her wish and Peeta is going to be fine.

When we get back to the cave, i can tell there's only about an hour left till the sun goes down, and we have no food. Which means Katniss is going to have to hunt without me covering her.

Fuck.

She lays me down at an end of the cave and covers me with the sleeping bag. She kisses my cheek and walks to the other end, where Peeta is supposed to be sleeping.

I close my eyes and start to sleep, hoping that I'll be able to, even with this pain. Katniss checks him before applying the medicine, and as soon as she's done, she takes the bow and leaves to hunt.

"What happened to you?" Peeta asks.

"Saved my girl's life and broke some ribs doing it, where were you?" I snarl.

I listen for a reaction, but I don't get one, so I try to roll over again to where I can sleep. The pain is too much, and I end up crying out. I scowl because I didn't want Peeta Mellark to know how hurt I am.

"I shouldn't have let either of you go," Peeta says.

I roll my eyes, then realize he can't see my face. "No, you shouldn't have."

"I should've just died."

I groan, "What are you playing at?" I sit up, nearly splitting myself in half as a result. "You hate me for pretending a Career, then you tell the country you love _my_ girl and join up with the allianc? You don't come looking for us, you stay hidden and then happen to reach out and grab me because you're almost dead? And now you want her for yourself?"

Peeta sits up too, "I heard you talking, before you left. Neither of you want to kill me. So maybe it would've been better if i had died from infection rather than get this medicine, just to get well and die."

"So what are you going to do?" I ask. "It's not like you have a whole lot of suicide options."

"No," Peeta answers before laying back down. "I have a plan. Just don't question it, okay?"

I nod my head and fall to sleep.

* * *

Brutus comes over to my station with his tablet that has Gale's condition on it. He hands it to me to check, although I don't know why he thinks I should be involved.

**Gale Hawthorne**  
_District 2 Male Tribute_  
_18 years old  
_

_Current Injuries/Chance of Survival:_  
_Broken Nose/98%_  
_Broken Ribs (3)/75%_

"He looks like he should be fine," I remark.

Brutus snorts, "He has 3 broken ribs. He won't be able to fight Thresh."

I nod, "Weren't you here when he discussed that?"

I'm starting to get bitter, as I do just before one of my tributes die. That point in the game is usually where I start drinking and accept the fact that I can't help them, but for some reason I haven't picked up a bottle yet. Maybe it's because Katniss will still be in the game, maybe it's because I'm finally having a change of heart.

After Peeta and Gale's talk this morning, Effie has been down to see me 3 times, Finnick twice, and Johanna once. I don't know why they don't just leave me in peace, probably because Effie knows I'm about to start drinking, and because she actually cares about Katniss.

The girl has fought bravely, and i have no doubt that she's going to make it out of the arena. Gale is too selfless in love to let her die in his arms, and I don't blame him. The only problem I have concerning Katniss is her apparent disregard for anything the Capitol says. Volunteering in an outlying district, covering Rue with flowers, actually appearing _concerned_ over another tribute, hell, even _surviving_ are all things the Capitol didn't want her to do.

And she doesn't know it, but she's created a damn mess.

The Capitolites are too excited for their own good over the Romeo & Juliet, Star Crossed Lovers of District 12. I have a feeling that whenever Gale has to die, the city is going to be burned in a riot.

Even the districts, everyone supports these two, even more after what Katniss did with Rue.

What a mess.

I look at the monitor with showing the cave, and again to see Katniss hunting in the forest. Peeta's been up walking all day, but now he walks to Gale to make sure he's asleep. he takes a larger knife and a rope before looking back and then promptly exiting the cave. Johanna, who sits beside me with Brutus, narrows her eyes, "What the hell is he doing?"

"He's leaving them," Brutus observes.

I look at the monitor with all the different tributes on it.

"He's headed right for Thresh."


	17. Abandoned

The cannon startles me awake. I look around the cave and notice Katniss is still gone, hunting I think. I get up slowly, calling for Peeta, because I know he can go look for Katniss even if I can't.

But he's not here.

I throw the sleeping bag open only to confirm my fear: the bastard waited until I was asleep, and now he's gone after Katniss.

So why did he leave me alive? Maybe he realized it's not right to kill a man while he's asleep.

Most of my knives are here, only one is missing. I put the rest of them in my belt and shuffle my way to where my boots sit. I put them on as best as I can, shrugging on my jacket as fast as I can. I slowly make my way to the mouth of the cave. I have to find Katniss.

I pick out a larger tree branch, just anything I can put my weight on so i can move faster to find her. I try to remember where she would have gone, but I realize that I don't really have a clue.

I sit on a rock outside the cave, trying to fight back the tears. I don't know where Katniss is, I don't know if she's alive. All I know is that one more person in this arena died, and I don't know who it was. I could sit here and wait till Katniss comes back or until they show the fallen tributes in the sky tonight.

Either way, I don't really have an option to do shit.

I shuffle my way back to the cave, aggravated that I can't go anywhere or do anything.

If she was to die and I didn't get to say goodbye... No, the thought is unbearable.

I've been going through the Games with the intent of Katniss being there for my last moments, getting to say goodbye to her. If something happened to _her_ instead, and I didn't get to say goodbye... I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for the rest of my life.

I get up again, trying to make myself useful by finding some kind of plant we could eat, just in case she didn't get anything. I find a mint leaf and put it on my tongue, it comforts me a little, but not enough. I find some of the plants Rue had showed us and some that I remember from district 12.

And then I see the berries. Nightlock. It would kill me instantly, and Katniss wouldn't have to suffer the pain of killing me herself or watching a bloody suicide. I run my hands through my hair, my death is almost upon me. How many people are this calm about choosing the way they have to die? I put the berries in my pocket and head back to sit on my rock.

The minutes pass and I find myself tapping my foot on the rock, whittling the walking stick, twiddling my thumbs, anything to distract me, the pain from my ribs not really bothering me as much as the thought of losing Katniss. The sun starts to set in the distance, and I find myself getting more and more worried about her, as if that were even possible.

I hear something crash in the leaves of the trees above me and start to panic. I'm alone, in the dark, with only 3 knives as weapons. Katniss is missing, possibly dead, so my mind is disoriented. Basically, I'm a perfect target for Thresh or Peeta right now.

But as I tense up with the largest knife i have ready, no threat comes. Instead, a parachute crawls down the trees and lands about ten feet away from me. A parachute this late in the game must have cost more money than the entire Seam is worth, and I figure it's a message just like everything else that the mentors send, Haymitch especially.

I open the casing and take out a flashlight. I toss it down, deeming it useless and look for anything else inside. Realizing there is nothing, I sit back down on the rock and stare at the yellow industrial sized flashlight.

Haymitch and Brutus are trying to tell me something, I just don't know what. It's dark now, so the flashlight could be used to find Katniss, granted she's still alive. But—that would mean she's alive...

Okay, so Brutus and Haymitch are telling me that she's still alive. And that she's probably lost in the dark.

But it's going to take me a long fucking time to find her with broken ribs in the dark. I need something to signal her, to show her that I'm still alive and where I am, something that she'll know was me.

And then it clicks. _The flare gun_.

I look up and just shake my head at the old men and their confidence in me. I hobble back to the cave and reach into the backpack Katniss took from the cornucopia on the first day. In it, the flare gun sits unused, and I chuckle to myself as I think of the joke I made about exposing ourselves to the entire arena.

I step back out of the cave and decide to walk away before I shoot, that way I don't lead anyone who doesn't need to see it back to the cave. Then I realize there are only four people left, and three of them know where the cave is. I point the gun above my head and shoot a brilliant red flare into the sky, above the tree tops. It explodes, like some fireworks we saw in the Capitol the night we arrived. I'm in awe for a few minutes of the brilliant colors and how beautiful it is.

The gun doesn't feel empty, so I look down and see that it still has a flare left in it, so I decide to wait an hour or two before I fire it again. I walk back to the rock and take my place, throwing my knife at a barely visible plant in front of me to practice my skills.

I wish I could tell how much time has passed, because I know soon they're going to show the fallen tributes, and I don't know how long it's been since I've fired the flare.

The anthem of Panem plays, and my panic starts to really set in. How am I going to live with myself if I didn't get to say goodbye?

I panic and take out the gun, firing it before the anthem finishes its song. I don't even care if I'm leading Thresh right to where I am. I'm going to want to die if her face appears in the sky.

The flare burns, brighter and brighter. The moment of truth comes, and I hear something snap the twigs in the trees behind me. Against every hunter's instinct I have, I remain with my face toward the sky. If it's Thresh or Peeta, they can just go ahead and kill me.

The sky lights with a tribute's face, but hands come over my eyes before I can see if the face is familiar. "Guess who?" I hear the sweet, sweet voice I've been longing to hear in my ear.

This has to be a trick. I whip around, feeling as if I've been stabbed in the side. But she's here, in my arms. Nothing else matters because she's here, she's alive.

_Katniss is alive_.

So who died?

"I'm so glad I fou—" she cuts off, her face is one of pure fear at the face in the sky behind me. By the time I turn around, the photo is gone and the sky is dark.

"Catnip. Who was it?" I ask, begging almost.

"Where's Peeta?" She chokes out. "Gale, what did you do?!"

"You don't think I killed him, do you?!" I scream back. She just looks at me sternly, her eyes burn into mine with doubt, accusing me.

I turn around to face her again, "He left while I was sleeping. I passed out from pain. The cannon woke me up, and I tried to come find you. Haymitch sent me this," I say, pointing to the flashlight, "So I would use the flare gun to find you."

She doesn't look like she's going to say anything. "He told me he had some kind of plan, but I didn't really give it any thought and I went to sleep. Maybe it was divide and conquer, maybe he's betting that we'd go after him. I don't know. He left on his own; i didn't drive him away, and I didn't kill him!"

Katniss walks back to the cave. "We're missing a backpack, the rest of the food, and the largest hunting knife," I inform her.

"Peeta wouldn't _steal_ from us.. He wouldn't do that," she manages.

I laugh, "You honestly think that way, Catnip? Look what he did to Rue, the Careers, to us. Peeta's only concern is himself. He's not worth dying for, he's not worth sending back to our district. They deserve a better Victor than him."

"That's not fair, Gale."

I turn to look at her and see that she's perfectly serious. "What about this is _fair_, Katniss? I'm willing to die for you, so _you_ can go home and make a life for your sister and for my family, because I want that for you. If we're the last two people left here, I'd kill myself in a second for you. I'm not afraid to die if it means you'll live a full life, but I'm absolutely terrified of losing you. And hearing you say you would take my sacrifice and...and, _cheapen_ it by saying you'd send Peeta home?! What kind of message does that send me? You're willing to throw away the sacrifice I've made so.. _Peeta Mellark_ can go home to riches and glory. _If_ Thresh didn't fucking kill him."

"And you wonder why I ask you if you care about him," I scoff. "_That_ is why, Katniss. Because you're willing to die to send him home, and he doesn't deserve it. I've done everything I can for you in this God-foresaken arena, and you haven't said anything like that to me. That's what's not fair. You value his life more than you value mine."

She looks...hurt. Like a puppy who's been kicked. "You know that's not true, Gale. I couldn't and wouldn't live without you. I'd rather be dead than not have you." She comes and puts a hand on my shoulder, "And I didn't try to sacrifice for you because you'd never let me, and because you would have the same pain you're trying to inflict on me. I can't die knowing that you'll hurt for the rest of your life."

"So what about Prim?" I bark. "Your mother? my family? Do you think when you send Peeta home that he's going to take care of them? Think again. He wouldn't look out for anyone except his own, and I'm not going to let you do that to Prim, Rory, Vick, or Posy. You want to send Peeta home instead of you? Sorry, but it's not going to happen. I made a promise before I got in here, and I know you made them to Prim."

"He's deceived us," I retort. "We have to leave. He knows where we are, and now he really knows because of the damn flare gun. And if you're going to blame me for his death, I might as well fucking kill him." I hobble back into the cave and gather all the backpacks and things, although I'm not sure why. It _will_ end tonight.

...

Peeta walks slowly to the cornucopia. Thresh stabbed him easily and he's bleeding. The tablet says it's not something he'll die from, but with three people left, he won't last long anyway.

The audience at home got shown most of the fight, only cutting away from it to show Gale's worry and Katniss getting lost. I find it hard to believe Katniss got lost on her own because she's too good in the woods but no one else seems to make a comment on any suspicion of Gamemaker involvement, so i don't either.

Seneca Crane comes into the mentoring room for the second time in two days to announce the finale will be tonight. It's customary for the Head Gamemaker to come in and tell us, but the last time I had a tribute make it to the finale, I was still a teenaged mentor.

Johanna starts laughing sarcastically and loud enough for everyone in the room to turn and look at her. "Wonder how they're going to play it since all 3 kids are from district 12."

Seneca turns slowly on his heel and crosses the room to face Johanna. Finnick and Brutus step closer to her and cross their arms, quite intimidating, actually.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly," Seneca starts.

"Oh, I'm sure you did," Johanna interrupts. "I said all three of your finalists are from 12. And all three of them are in love. Just wondering if you guys were going to rig it or not."

Seneca narrows his eyes, "Excuse me?"

Johanna laughs, "It's a damn TV show, right? You're going to do whatever to give the highest TV ratings." She steps closer to him to where she's just a whisper away, "You shouldn't worry though, your audience really doesn't have a choice, do they?"

She, Finnick, and Brutus walk over to my station and start observing the boards as if nothing happened. Crane turns and starts walking away, muttering something about ignorance.

"Are you trying to get everyone killed, Johanna?" I spit.

She smiles, "Just trying to give the audience what they want. Haven't you talked to Effie? After Gale's big speech, they're sharpening their pitchforks and gathering in the town square."

I sit in my chair, "I'm being serious, Johanna. What happens if they both die and Peeta becomes Victor?"

"It's like you said at dinner the other day," Brutus states. "If either Gale or Katniss die, the city might go down in a riot. Crane knows that, Snow knows that."

Finnick laughs, "Killing them both and letting Peeta be Victor only creates martyrs."

"Martyrs for what?" I ask.

Johanna leans in and whispers, "That's the question, isn't it?"


	18. Suicide

A/N: Little smaller chapter today, but I promise it's just as action-packed! Been taking all of your suggestions into consideration, but keep them coming! :)

* * *

_"It is a far, far better thing I do now then I have ever done before. It is a far, far better rest I go to then I have ever know." - A Tale of Two Cities_

* * *

"Why the cornucopia?" Katniss asks.

I roll my eyes at her. It's only the fifteenth time I've explained it, so I'm starting to get annoyed. I'm honestly annoyed anyway because I can't take more than 10 steps without crying out in pain. But I know that tonight will probably be my last night of life, so I'm trying hard to stay patient.

"It's the most open. They're going to push us there if we don't go anyway. Don't you watch the Games every year? They always finish at the cornucopia."

She scrunches up her eyes and I know that she knows I'm right. If we hadn't left when we did, there's no telling what kind of beasts they would send after us.

We reach the cornucopia before Peeta or Thresh do, and I look around the scattered weapons. I find a sword, a spear, and some more knives. I don't know how well i could wield a sword in my condition, but I can't let Katniss do all the work if it comes down to a fight, which it probably will.

Thinking about Peeta deserting us and stealing from us only pisses me off, so I sit on a box and just steam, hoping to have enough anger worked up that it won't take me long to kill him or Thresh, whoever isn't dead.

We sit in the mouth of the cornucopia, waiting. We know they'll push Peeta or Thresh to us, and sure enough, I begin to see light on the horizon, toward where our cave was. I breathe a sigh of relief that I didn't make her stay there and point it out to Katniss, "See, they would've smoked us out. They will probably arrive any minute."

"Who do you think it's going to be?" Katniss asks. Neither of us saw whose face was in the sky, so we have no idea who we're waiting for.

I look around behind me, "I find it hard to believe that Peeta could've overpowered Thresh. I mean, the guy broke my ribs and nose. I doubt we see Peeta tonight."

Katniss hears the barking before I do and points in the opposite direction of the fire. "I think I just heard the push you were talking about," she whispers. We ready our weapons and brace ourselves for whatever the fuck the Gamemakers have decided to come up with this year.

Peeta comes sprinting out of the forest, with three dog-like beasts chasing him. They look like dogs in everything except size, equaling that of a grizzly bear. I've only seen a bear one time, and I almost died from it. I turn to Katniss, "CLIMB!" and start helping her up to the cornucopia. I start to jump and grab her hand to pull me up, but the pain in my ribs feels as if someone has shoved a white-hot iron on it.

When we finally get to the top and have our weapons ready, Peeta comes scrambling up, "Help me! Please! Don't let them kill me."

I narrow my eyes, and I know they're clouding up like they do when I'm angry. The beasts are sprinting, getting closer and closer. "Guess this means Thresh is dead. Your call," I shout to Katniss. She nods and begins pulling Peeta up.

Figures.

I start to help her and pull him up, knife aimed at his throat. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't kill you now?" I shout at him.

"So I can explain myself!"

I look at Katniss and she nods, so I pull the knife away from Peeta's neck. "Start talking," I bark.

Peeta rights himself and stands, clutching his side, he's lost alot of blood. I briefly wonder what happened to him, but I realize it's not going to matter soon anyway. The dog-beasts have quieted down, but they haven't gone away, probably waiting for one of us to fall from the cornucopia to our death.

He looks at me and starts to talk, "I left because I wanted to kill Thresh. Gale, you were in no condition to do that, and I knew he'd try to physically overpower Katniss—and I couldn't let that happen. I was almost in perfect health, so I took some supplies and left. I'd hoped it would be an even fight and we'd both get fatal injuries, but it just didn't work out that way."

"Why didn't you tell us!?" Katniss screams. "Why didn't you say something?"

Peeta sighs, "Would you have really let me go?" He turns to me, "Would you have admitted you needed help? No, neither of you would have. And where would we be now? The three of us against Thresh?"

He does have a point, i wouldn't have accepted his help at all.

"Okay," I say. "You killed Thresh. Why not kill me in the cave too? Then all that would be in your way is Katniss. You'd be that much closer to being Victor."

Peeta shakes his head, "You just don't fucking get it, do you? I _love_ her. That's why I've done all of these things. Don't you understand? I became a Career and fed them bullshit about how good she was with knives and how terrible she was with a bow. I made her out to be a complete moron so they wouldn't try to kill her."

I look to see how Katniss is taking it, she has tears rolling down her face. I reach out to grab her hand, to let her know I'm still here.

"I was content to die by the river, because it would put you two one step closer to winning—but you found me. I couldn't let her go without saying goodbye." Peeta sniffles and wipes his face, "But I realized after that talk in the cave that I was costing you more than I was helping you. So I decided to run and try for Thresh. If it went well, he'd die, and if it didn't, you had one less tribute to worry about."

"So what do you expect us to do now?" Katniss asks. "Kill you?"

Peeta nods, "But that's not the only thing I want." Katniss and I look at each other, _Are you buying this_? she asks me.

_Not a chance_, I send back.

"What do you want, Peeta?" I ask.

He takes a deep breath, "Remember me. When either of you leave here, remember each tribute that has died because of it. Remember the lives you've taken, and all the children who can't go home to their parents. Hold your family a little tighter, tell them how much you love them before it's too late." He turns to Katniss, "I love you. I always have. I always knew your place was with Hawthorne, but I'm willing to die so you can go home to district 12."

"Prim, your mom, Gale's family, they all mean more than this. If Gale and I die, that means your families still have _hope_. You volunteered for your sister. You're here and Prim isn't. Go home and take care of her, Katniss." He leans into whisper something to her, kisses her cheek and unceremoniously steps off the cornucopia, sacrificing himself to the beasts below.

We hear his screams, and Katniss screams with him—for a second i think she might jump down and join him. She sinks to her knees, crying and still looking at the spot where Peeta fell. I gently take the bow from her and shoot one final arrow into Peeta, silencing his screams. He chose this. He wanted to die for us, for her, for the hope that some day things could be different.

Almost immediately, the sky begins to lighten and the beasts begin to retreat towards the forests, satisfied with the blood of a tribute. The sun comes out and shines, and all I can think is how ironic it is that I have to die on such a pretty day. I start to climb down from the cornucopia trying to process what the hell just happened, readying my knife as well as the berries. I can't decide how i want to die—instantly or with a few moments lingering.

"So Mellark gave the big sacrifice. Takes the gun out of your hands, so to speak," I say to Katniss. "What are you going to do now? Do you sacrifice yourself because you can't live without the baker's son, or do you let your best friend sacrifice himself for you?"

"Gale, I can't live without you!" She screams to me. It doesn't matter how long she screams now, because there isn't anyone else left in the arena. There isn't anyone else who wants to kill us.

"You're going to have to," I say gently, grabbing her hand. "It's the same thing I've been telling you all along: you can survive without me. I know you well enough to know that you're a survivor, Catnip."

She starts to openly sob, "I can't do it without you. I can't handle not hearing that nickname anymore. Please don't leave me, Gale. Please."

"I'm giving you this choice!" I scream at her. "I don't want to live in a world where you don't exist! I just can't do that, okay? Everything, and I mean every single thing in the entire world would just remind me of you, and every single day we've spent together."

I pull her close and kiss her hard, and pull back slowly, "I can't live in a world that you don't exist, Katniss. _You_ are my reason for living. If you take that away, I'll end up dying too. Maybe not at first, but eventually I will fade away."

"Besides, Catnip," I add. "They have to have a victor."

She pauses and mulls over the words. Her eyes light up, her jaw sets, and she smiles. It's the same thing I've been debating for two days, and I realize that she's caught up to my thoughts.

She reaches into my hand and takes the berries, "No, they don't have to have a Victor, we don't owe them that."

I take them in my hand, the nightlock berries. They would kill us both, instantly, painlessly. Someone else could deal with the mess we leave behind. We could change the Games, just like we wanted. All we have to do is eat the berries together, leave the world together.

Like Romeo and Juliet.

"Is this what you want to do?" I whisper.

She nods, "You know I can't live without you. I love you, Gale Hawthorne."

She surrenders herself to my chest and I wrap my arms around her, trying to memorize the way she is right now, forever. How soft her hair is, how she smells like the woods and sunlight, how tiny she is in comparison to me. I close my eyes and remember the first time we hugged like this, as if our lives depend on it.

And maybe now, they do.

I smile and kiss the top of her head, "We don't owe them anything, do we?"

She shakes her head, because we don't. We wanted to change the Games, to change this system, so innocent children like Rue and Peeta don't have to die, so our brothers and sisters don't have to live in fear, so they can grow up and have families of their own.

"Together?" she asks, the tears flowing and the smile similar to all those I've seen in the woods for the last four years.

"Is the answer to that question ever no, Catnip?" I smirk.

We hold them in front of our mouths, counting down from five.

"Five."

Defying the Capitol in front of a nationwide audience, making her fall in love with me.

"Four."

The first time I ever saw her beautiful face in the woods.

"Three."

Catnip's laugh in the water of the lake. The picnic we packed that day.

"Two."

The small smile I used to get every day in the woods when she saw I was waiting for her.

"One."

The first time she told me she loved me.

I put the berry to my mouth, and suddenly, "STOP!" rings out through the arena. I spit the berries out of my mouth, making sure none of the juice remains, Katniss does the same. "Stop." The voice says again.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Victors of the 74th annual Hunger Games: Katniss Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne!"


	19. Star Crossed Lovers

"Don't worry, you two played it the right way leading up to it," Haymitch tells me.

From what they've said, I've been out for nearly two days, only waking up two hours ago. Katniss has been awake for nearly 12 hours, and has been sitting by my bedside since she opened her eyes. Her injuries weren't as bad as mine, except for maybe being underfed. I was correct in my assumption that Thresh broke my ribs and nose, but they've corrected the nose with the Capitol surgery, expecting the ribs to be healed enough that i can do the interview tomorrow.

Fuck. The final interview. Awesome.

"What do you mean, 'played it?'" Katniss snaps. "That was all real."

"I know it was, sweetheart," Haymitch says. "I'm just saying, they're still pissed, but as long as you stick to the same story, you should be fine."

"What are they pissed about?" I ask.

Haymitch sighs and takes a sip from a flask, "They think you showed them up. They think you did it intentionally. They think you defied them. You changed the Game, whether you meant to or not. It's not something they really like to see, boy. If you're lucky, you'll convince the Capitolites tomorrow during the interview and we can all go home happy."

He pauses and drinks some more. "What happens if we aren't lucky?" I ask.

Haymitch looks at me, "Have you ever heard anyone in town mention my family?" I shake my head. "What about my girl?" I shake my head again. "There's a reason for that, boy. I tried to defy the Capitol too, they killed everyone I love."

I take Katniss's hand as Haymitch leaves the room. I hate being in this hospital, and I especially hate still being in the Capitol. While I was out, all my dreams centered around going home and being in the woods with Katniss. It comforts me now, holding her hand in this hospital bed, that I _can_ go home.

"You know it was real, right?" Katniss says.

She turns her head towards me, her hair flying everywhere since it's not in its usual braid, "What was real?" I ask.

"What I said. In the arena."

"Oh, yeah, I knew it was." I smirk. I had figured, but there was always the nagging doubt that this girl before me was faking, was only trying to get me home. We were the type of people who would do anything to protect each other—even lie about our feelings.

I run my free hand through my hair. "You already knew the answer to that one, why did you ask?"

She blushes, and I remove my hand from my hair to put it on her cheek, which makes her blush even deeper. "I had a long talk with Haymitch, Johanna Mason, your mentor Brutus, and Finnick Odair this morning."

"Oh?" I cock an eyebrow, "How'd that go?"

She holds my hand tighter, "They just told me to be prepared for them to try to force our hand in some way. They've never had Victors in love that the public liked. The crowd will...want to see things happen."

So the Capitolites are going to force our hands? Can't say I didn't see that one coming. "Like what kinds of things?"

"Us getting engaged, married, having kids. That kind of thing."

The comment makes me smile, "Wasn't anything I wasn't prepared to do anyway, Catnip."

My comment makes her smile, and before I know it, I've fallen asleep holding her hand.

I jar myself awake, but the hospital is still dark. The TV shows the Games, the scenes just before Rue's death.

Rue stands at the corner of my bed, and her expression is sad, like the expression she wore when she realized she was going to die. She crosses over to me and holds the hand that Katniss isn't. She just sits for a few seconds, and I look down, looking for the wound that killed her.

"Rue?" I say, but the girl doesn't look at me. She stares at the TV. When it shows her death, she lets a blood-curdling scream shake her body.

Suddenly blood bursts from where the spear wound was, and her face goes pale. She grips my hand harder, "Why didn't you save me?"

"I-I tried, Rue! I t-t-tried to save you!" I sputter.

She screams again, "It wasn't enough! Was it!"

..I wake up panting and sweating.

I startle Katniss, who has fallen asleep in the chair, still holding my hand. I keep breathing hard, and she takes my face in her hands, "Hey... hey. It was only a bad dream. You're here, with me. Nothing bad has happened to you."

I hold her tight, "I dreamed of Rue."

Katniss has a sad smile, "Me too. Haymitch told me they don't go away, well, his haven't." I let the comment fall without a reply. All I can see is Rue's eyes boring into my soul. The silence falls easily till I look at the clock.

"'Bout time for you to go get ready."

She smiles, "I don't want to leave you. I haven't since I woke up."

"Well it'll only be for a couple hours," I chuckle.

She laughs and kisses my cheek before heading down to where Cinna is making her over. I'm told he's in charge of my prep crew too, but i didn't bother to learn the names of my last pep crew, so it's not like it matters much to me.

I have an hour before I'm supposed to report to Cinna for my own makeover, so I decide it's a good time to try to take a walk.

I'm still in my hospital gown, but luckily it's warm inside the hospital, so I'm comfortable when I slowly rise from the bed and take my IV with me down the hall. The arena left me almost immobile from the broken ribs, but now I only feel a slight ache where stabbing pain used to be. How long has it been? 2 days? The Capitol medicines are amazing, makes me wish we had them in 12.

Ahh, district 12. I see a picture on the wall of a forest, and it reminds me that tomorrow I'll be on my way home, to move into my new house in the Victor's Villiage, to visit the old snare line. And to finally see my family. It's been over a year since I've been home because of the PRA, but I start wondering how much they've changed. Is Rory bigger, taller? Is Posy in school yet? Has Vick finally grown into his glasses?

I'm still wandering the hallways when Haymitch comes to find me, "Been lookin' everywhere for you, boy."

"I just decided to get the hell out of that bed," I chuckle.

We fall silent as we slowly make our way to the prep room, which Haymitch explained had been put in the basement of the hospital so neither of us would have to walk too far. Makes alot of sense when you think about it.

Cinna sits on a chair waiting for me with three women I deem to be my prep crew. Cinna nods and tells the doctor in the background to remove the IV. Apparently with my ribs being so fragile, a doctor has to be present just in case something goes wrong and I start feeling pain. Nothing bad happens though, and the three women give me a shower and towel me off.

Cinna excuses the three women, leaving just us and the doctor in the room. He stands up and crosses to me to shake my hand, "I care a lot about the Girl on Fire. Thanks for bringing her home."

I remember what Haymitch told me last night. "We aren't out of the woods yet."

Cinna nods, "Well today your outfits are going to be basically simple. Light pink dress for her and a plain tux for you. I want you both to look as innocent as possible." No secret as to why that is. "And Gale?" I nod, "I know what you said in the arena was real, but you've got to keep it up. No anti-Capitol talk, nothing negative about the Games. And you have _got_ to relate every question to how you feel about Katniss."

He pauses for a moment, "Am I clear?" I nod again. "Okay, I'm going to help them finish Katniss. Just get dressed and head back up to your hospital room.

He start to head out the door and pauses again, "One more thing. The Capitolites think you two haven't seen each other since you left the arena. Make it big." He winks, and then he's gone.

* * *

I'm pacing across the waiting room. Only a door separates me from the stage, but i know it's not time for me to open it yet. Effie must be nervous too, because she's fidgeting—and that's just something Effie doesn't do. I think it has something to do with me not supposed to see Gale before tonight and I did anyway, but after all the death Gale and I witnessed, who would deny us?

So the big thing tonight is to act like I haven't seen him in 3 days, which is what Effie has spent the last three hours going over with me—practicing my big fake smile, my giggle, and holding his hand "tenderly."

Can't say it's something I'm particularly good at.

But it's only 5 minutes until show time, and I can hear Caesar announcing us and giving unnecessary background information. From what Cinna has told me, everyone knows that Gale joined the PRA to feed me and his family, how I pined for him after he left, and how long we've been friends. Everyone knows, but everybody likes hearing it over and over.

Except me. I lived my whole life without having it narrated, and it frustrates me that people get to listen to how my life was. Why does anyone even care, anyway? but what frustrates me more is these people _love_ what happened, they love the drama of our "forbidden" love, and they love that we both went through hell and back to find each other.

Cinna comes in and hugs me before sitting down and just holding my hands. I'm dressed in an original of his: a simple blush pink dress that barely billows at the waist. I lost so much weight in the arena that there's padding to add curves, but i know Gale won't be looking at my curves. My long hair is arranged in cascading curls down my back, with just a hint of makeup to make me look like a woman, and not the sixteen year old girl that I am.

"Remember the game plan?" Cinna asks.

I nod, "Smile, giggle, hold his hand, say I'm in love."

Cinna laughs, "Are you sure you can do this?"

"Do I really have a choice? I did everything I could to save us both, and tonight just seals the deal. I don't want anyone else anyway, but it's just the matter of the thing: I don't have a choice now."

Cinna's smile fades, "I know, Katniss."

"I'm sixteen years old and my fate is sealed. That's not right."

The bell rings in our room, meaning that it's time for me to open the door and see Gale. I'm relieved—everything is okay whenever he's here. I grasp the door knob and look back at Cinna. He touches under his chin, _head up. I nod and open the door.  
_

At first the light blinds me, and the roar of the crowd deafens me. But my eyes come into focus and I see the one thing that is the most important to me.

Gale Hawthorne stands at the other end of the stage, eyes locked on mine. His tux is simple, black, traditional, and it makes him look like a god on the stage. His face breaks out into a blinding smile, and he reaches out his arms for me.

I don't have to be asked twice.

The crowd means nothing, Caesar means nothing, President Snow means nothing, the Games mean nothing, our families mean nothing. All that matters is this boy standing across the stage from me. I run across the stage to him, crushing him in a hug, he kisses my cheek and whispers, "Trust me."

He stands and dips me, kissing me the most passionately he ever has, in front of everyone to see.

After a minute or two of us kissing, Caesar clears his throat. Gale releases me, and I can feel all the blood rush directly to my face, Gale's blushing a little too.

Caesar motions for us to sit down on the love seat they've provided and they show the replay of the Games. Normally they compact most of the action centered around the Victor for three hours, but since there are two of us, they decide to tell a story. A love story.

It shows every kiss, every embrace, every thing that happened between Gale and I. It shows him frantically searching for me after he abandoned the Careers, it shows us hunting, sleeping on his chest, telling each other we love each other, and the scene of Rue's death.

In the background, both of our mother's voices from the family interviews, "I always knew she would end up with Gale Hawthorne," my mother and sister say. "Kat would always come in from seeing him with this big unexplainable smile on her face. I always knew it was because of Gale." Prim admitted.

Showing us sleeping under the sleeping bag in the cave, "Katniss has always been a part of our family," Hazelle says. "I always wondered when she would join it officially."

And three hours of love, it's over. Caesar turns to the two of us, with a microphone.

"Mission accomplished, Gale? You got the girl and she's alive."

Gale chuckles, "Yes sir, and I can honestly say I've never been happier." He holds my hand tighter.

"Me either," I giggle.

Caesar turns to me, "What are your plans now? Gale is a handsome boy, how will you keep the girls away from him?"

Gale grins, causing the girls in the audience to sigh, I narrow my eyes and look back at him, kissing him on the cheek, "He's a pretty faithful guy, I don't think I'll have any trouble."

"What's the first thing you're going to do when you get home?" Caesar asks us both.

I look at Gale before answering. "Probably hold my sister, let her know that I won, for her."

Gale nods, "Probably just hold my family."

Caesar sighs with the crowd, "Ladies and gentlemen, I present the Victors of the 74th Annual Hunger Games, the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12, Katniss Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne!"


	20. Homecoming

a/n: Okay, almost at an end! Just need some opinions on where you guys think I should go from here. I love your suggestions and trust me, i try to implement each one! dm or review and let me know your thoughts! I love you guys :)

* * *

The train moves fast—Effie has told me over 200 miles per hour about five times since we left the Capitol an hour ago—but it isn't moving fast enough. All I want is to breathe the air of District 12 and forget the last couple of weeks... The last year, actually.

They decided to take us both to district 12, even though I'm still technically a district 2 tribute. When I was asked by Brutus and Haymitch, I told them honest: all I wanted was to go home. And since I didn't have to be a Peacekeeper anymore, I'd get to. I'd also requested that the parcels that _should_ be sent to 2 get sent to 12 instead, considering that's where I had originated. The secretary who had taken my request had smiled and said she would talk to the President and see what could be worked out.

After the stunt Katniss and I pulled though, I'll be surprised if the parcels don't have worms inside them.

Effie had talked non-stop the whole way home about the fine dinners and things we would be subject to now that we were Victors. "Your families will be moved out of your normal homes and you shall each have a house in the Victor's Village. The houses there are almost exactly like your suites in the Training Center, you are going to love it! And the _parties_! So many parties and people you'll get to see just because of your status! Haymitch, tell them about all the Victors! You're just going to _love_ Johanna Mason," she drones on and on over dinner, but Katniss and I just grin at each other and nod at the appropriate times.

Haymitch starts drinking heavily as soon as we get on the train, and I can't really say that I blame him, 'cause I kind of need a drink myself. He sees me eyeing his flask, "Need somethin', boy?"

I grin again, "Kinda needing a drink."

"After what you just went through, you deserve one," he chuckles.

Effie immediately starts in on how "inappropriate" it is which just makes Haymitch laugh even harder. "You're not of age, Gale. It could leave you impaired, and what if the President or someone else calls and you can't take it? That's just highly—"

"I think it'll be okay," Katniss interrupts. "I kind of want one too."

Haymitch just laughs more, "You can both have one if you want."

I take some of the liquor he hands. He calls it whiskey, and we've never had enough money to buy alcohol at all, so I don't know the different kinds. "It'll taste better if you mix it with something," he offers.

I shake him off, "Maybe it'll ruin me forever."

It tastes almost sweet going down, but the bite is enough to make me pucker up my face. Everyone gets a good laugh out of it, Effie especially.

Katniss takes the bottle from me, taking a bigger swig out of it than I did—always trying to one-up me. She makes a worse face than I did, and even the Avoxes serving us have to cover their faces to hide their smiles.

Since there isn't anything Capitol-mandatory on the TV tonight, we all settle in with different hobbies. Effie takes to looking at herself in a compact mirror, Haymitch starts drinking his weight in the whiskey, Katniss reads a book while cuddled up next to me, and I try my best not to fall asleep.

And every time I get close enough to start snoozing, Katniss starts giggling and startles me. I look down and read the page she's on, and I quickly get bored and just as quickly see why she was laughing. The book is something on the founding of Panem, start to present. The current chapter has something to do with President Snow's rise to power. Katniss giggles at me yawning after I read the page, "It's going to be nice to sleep without the fear of death tonight."

I laugh, "That's true. Be the first real sleep I've had since we were Reaped. Especially if you read that book out loud to me."

Haymitch's snoring interrupts us from the couch and the three of us turn to see the whiskey falling out of his hands and spilling on the floor, while Haymitch is oblivious and just snores on. Effie throws up her hands in disgust, mumbling something about "finding an Avox to deal with this mess," and promptly leaves the room.

"Guess it's just us," Katniss says, wiggling closer to me.

I smirk and wink in response. "I'm going to grab a shower before bed," I say, not really directed at her or anyone else.

She just smiles though, "I'm sure I'll see you before bed," and simply goes back to her book.

Women confuse me.

I just head back to my designated room and find the shower, easily pressing the buttons for a steaming hot shower. I let the water cascade down my body, and I notice my muscles aren't as taunt and tight as they were before we left. The thought actually kind of bothers me; I like being attractive. My excuse used to be all the girls I went to school with, but it was really just to impress Katniss when we were in the woods. I smile in the hot steam as I realize my excuse is the same now.

I spend longer than normal under the hot water, because it's the first real shower—or time alone—that I've had in weeks. I wash off slowly, spending more time than really needed, and examining the shape the Games left me in.

I'm not thin by any means, but I can count more of my ribs than i could in 12. My muscles are weakening, except for my legs. Everything else looks normal, but I've been avoiding mirrors too. I step out of the shower and find a nice fluffy towel, wrapping it around my waist and stepping into the bedroom to find some clothes in the huge closet.

Katniss sits on my bed, in her pajamas. The nightgown she has on overwhelms her, and I wonder if it would've fit better before the Games. It bothers me that she was that underfed under my watch. Her hair looks freshly washed and her eyes have dark circles under them. They go wide at the sight of my body, so I flex my arms and wink at her. She blushes and tries to look away.

"It's not the first time you've seen me half-naked, Catnip. Hell, it's not even the first time you've seen me naked," I chuckle.

She shakes her head, "Can't believe you still remember that day."

I hold out my arms, "How could I forget? A damn grizzly bear comes out to attack you and I'm supposed to just stand there and watch?"

"No, but going after it with just a hunting knife probably wasn't the wisest idea. Especially when your hunting partner is half your weight and only 14."

She's right. She had to carry me while I was unconscious to the lake house, take off my clothes and tend to the wounds as best as she could until I woke up. She rises from the bed and gently places her hands on my shoulders, feeling where there _should_ be a scar from that attack. "What happened to them?"

"You mean the giant claw marks?" I laugh, "Apparently women of the Capitol don't find scars attractive, so they got rid of all of them."

She nods and starts to run her hands over where all the different scars _should_ be, "Too bad. Your scars told a story."

I take her hands in mine, "What kind of story did they tell?"

"hmm, a good one," she smiles. "A tale of heroism and adventure, of love and desperation."

"That's about right," I chuckle.

I walk to the drawer and pull out a pair of boxers, slipping them on under the towel. I dry off completely and join her where she sits on my bed. "So what brings you here tonight, miss? Don't you have your own bed?"

She smiles and kisses my cheek, "Maybe I wanted to stay with you. Is that okay?"

I get in between the covers and motion for her to get the lights. She comes back to the bed in the dark and snuggles up on my chest, gently running her fingers over the skin. "Is the answer to that question ever no?" I ask her in the dark.

Katniss falls asleep almost instantly, and I'm pleased to say it didn't take me long either.

...

Katniss almost can't contain herself. She's been pacing ever since Effie announced that we were in District 12 and would be in the town within 20 minutes. I know she's anxious to get back to her mother and sister, but I haven't seen my family in over a year, shouldn't I be more worried? "Calm down, Catnip. We'll be in the woods soon enough."

She grins and just keeps pacing.

Haymitch has stopped drinking long enough to call us together for a chat. "Now listen," he explains, "those houses were built by the Capitol. I have no doubt that they're bugged. Don't say anything Anti-Capitol while you're in them and don't mention going to the woods, or anything illegal. If you have to go hunting, make sure no one follows you. Deal?" We both nod as the train starts to slow down.

We walk to the doors that will open us to our district, all waiting at the train station, no doubt. I smile to her and grab her hand, "We're finally home, Catnip."

She smiles, "Finally."

The doors open, and all I can register is the smiling faces of our family, mine and Katniss's. Rory holds Posy on his shoulders, and he is literally like looking into a mirror. My Mom holds Vick's hand and waves to us frantically. Katniss's mom holds Prim with one hand, smiling and waving like I've never seen. Prim's smile looks as if it's going to break her face, and soon she just comes running up to the train to see her sister.

Vick, Posy, and Rory do the same, so Katniss and I step down from the train and go to one knee to hug our families. I get told how proud everyone is of me, how much they missed me, and how glad they are that I don't ever have to go somewhere like that again. The crowd's roar is deafening in front of us, but it's clear that neither the Hawthornes nor the Everdeens really care.

I don't know how long I hold my family, but eventually Effie is tapping my shoulder, because she has to escort us through our houses in the Victor's Village. We walk across down, my arm easily finding Katniss's shoulder and my other hand in Posy's. Posy has talked non-stop since I stopped hugging her, going into detail about every single boy she's dated since I left a year ago. It seems like she's had the speech practiced. Rory, Vick, and Prim just smile and watch mine and Katniss's reactions, and it seems like she's practiced the speech on them. My mom and Katniss's mother just chat with Effie about the Capitol. I'm kind of surprised my mother doesn't hit her.

There are five Victor's houses in district 12, and only one has been occupied, ever, by Haymitch. The houses for the Everdeens and Hawthornes are side by side, and I smile when I realize how easy it's going to be to see her now that we live so close. Our houses in the Seam were a good 10 minute brisk walk apart. Effie takes us first to the house the Hawthornes will inhabit. Katniss, her mother, and Prim accompany us, because they're going to be over here enough anyway.

"This is the living room," Effie announces, leading us from the hallway. "It has a large TV for the Capitol announcements, two couches—they're quite comfy—and in here is the kitchen. It comes fully equipped."

"Oh, excuse me, here," My mother interrupts. She smiles sweetly, "We're having a big dinner for the kids tonight, so I should probably get started. I'll have time to find the bedrooms later." And she's quickly gone to the kitchen.

Effie just smiles and shows us where the bathroom and stairs are before leading us to the bedrooms on the second floor. Rory, Vick, and Posy all run to claim theirs, the boys sharing the biggest bedroom. Effie smiles and opens a door she hasn't introduced yet—the master bedroom. She opens her arms and shows me the massive room, "I thought you'd like it the best, it has the best view of the woods from here." she winks and walks downstairs.

"I think she wants to show you and your family your house now," I say to Katniss.

She shakes her head, "I'm supposed to live there. I have better things I want to do."

I catch her meaning easily, _remember what Haymitch said_.

She nods and walks outside, nodding to her mother, whom Effie is showing into her new house.

We walk down to the Seam, where Prim informed us our hunting gear still was. I had entrusted all of my hunting gear and weapons to Katniss before I left for safekeeping, and Prim had assured us it was all still inside the house.

I hold her hand and people wave to us on each side of the street, people we knew and people we don't know. When we finally get to her house, i see that it's largely unchanged, except for the absence of clothes and a little furniture. Katniss goes to the room that she and Prim shared, getting out the hunting jackets and boots. I turn to the old kitchen, remembering how many nights I spent here, helping Prim with her homework, cooking dinner with Katniss... The memories almost overwhelm me.

But something _does_ overwhelm me. The smell of...

_Roses_.

A full two dozen, right there on the table.

"Kat-Katniss!" I call. "Come look at this."

She runs into the kitchen, nearly gagging on the smell of the white roses. "Oh my God."


	21. Message

It's a message.

President Snow is letting Katniss and I know that he sees our every move, and we better not step out of line. I think back to our conversation with Haymitch—does Snow have this place bugged too?—and I decide that I sincerely hate the President. As if I didn't already.

We walk back out of the house, holding hands, and I know Katniss well enough to know that she's trying hard to keep it together. Instead of turning left at the end of the street to head back to the Victor's Village, I turn right towards the town square. Across from the Justice Building is a series of benches, and we pick one that's far enough away from people that we won't be heard.

"What does that mean, Gale?" Katniss questions. "I know it means he's watching us, but does he know we have our hunting gear there?"

I shake my head, "I don't know, Katniss. I'm not even sure that it's safe to go into the woods."

I can see the panic start to rise in her eyes, _What will we do if we can't hunt?_ It's a question that is no longer about survival and feeding our families, but about survival and keeping our sanity. What _will_ we do if we can't hunt? it's not a question we've really been asking ourselves since we've gotten back. The memory of District 12 is one with hunting, the calm of the woods. Without that calm to regulate our days, I can't really say what will happen to our sanity. As my thoughts progress, I can feel my own panic rising.

Luckily, Haymitch strolls out of the bakery, no doubt offering his condolences to Peeta's family. I see him stumble across the sidewalk, drunk. I'm honestly not as mad as I should be, because I know how shitty it would be to have to tell someone's family that you're sorry you couldn't save their kid. He spots the two of us across the street and straightens up a bit, probably realizing that we aren't in the woods for a reason.

"Well, well, if it isn't the two love birds," he teases. "Why aren't you in your _nest_?" he sneers.

Katniss's eyes flash a shade of anger, "President Snow left us a gift. We were actually going to ask you if it's even safe to be out here." I catch her double meaning, but I wonder if Haymitch does, even in his drunken state.

Understanding flashes across his features, but it is gone as quickly as it appeared. He smiles coyly, as if to let us know he's still playing drunk. "You're Victors, right? I feel like you've earned a few days of being out from under the Capitol's thumb." He leans in closer, and I can smell the sweet whiskey on his breath, "But i'd be doubly careful if i were you."

he leans back, takes another swig and is back off to his house in the Victor's Village, no doubt trying to drown his memories of the baker's boy.

But for us, an instant weight has been lifted off our shoulders. Freedom to hunt, even for a few days, is enough to put smiles back on our faces. "What's it going to be, Catnip? Want to go hunting?"

She giggles, "One of these days, I'm finally going to tell you no."

The walk through town is one of stealth, making sure we aren't seen by the wrong people. Cray, the head Peacekeeper, won't turn us in for hunting if we bring him a turkey, but you never know how the new guys will react. All it takes is one newbie to yell something about an execution or a whipping, then Cray's stuck and has to follow protocol.

I'm not sure what the difference in crime is for one to get a bullet in the brain rather than lashes, but I can't say it's something I've ever asked either. I know that no matter what happens, I would take the punishment for Katniss, but I'm really not comfortable with the thought of someone charging her with illegal hunting—lashes or not. We are Victors now, after all.

As soon as we are clear of the people of the town square, we begin to run towards the fence, stopping only to make sure the buzz of electricity is absent. We're breathing hard with exercise of running, and her face is red and breathless, she's never looked more beautiful.

As soon as we pass under the fence and through the treeline, I'm reminded of how much I really missed this place. The woods in the Games were similar, but nothing can compare to the peace this place brings me. All that time in District 2, working to be a Peacekeeper, I was dreaming of this place. My hand in Katniss's, the sunshine of a bright Applachian day, and the serenity of nature. My weapons are still intact, and I can't wait to get down to the Hob so I can find some throwing knives. All my practice before and during the Games is just too good to let the skill go without any more practice.

We walk the old snare line and reset some of them, just like old times. "How was it here without me?" I ask her, watching her reset one of the snares. Her fingers aren't as sure as mine, and mine aren't half as good as my father's. I wonder what kind of huntsman either of us would be if we'd had our fathers to teach us.

"Lonely. Boring," Katniss replies.

"What was the worst part?"

She looks back at me and grins, "Hmm, the worst part?" She puts her hand to her chin, as if she were thinking hard about it. "Probably not having anyone to watch my back."

I try to look disappointed, "That's it? My stimulating conversation and dashing good looks don't make the list?"

Katniss shakes her head and snorts in laughter before turning back to the rest of the snares.

We find the stream easily enough, taking off our boots and letting our feet rest in the ice cold mountain water. Katniss rests back and closes her eyes, basking in the sunlight of the afternoon. It's peaceful, being out here, together again.

"How many girls did you have?" Katniss asks suddenly.

The question causes me to sit up and face her, "Excuse me?"

She smiles, "I know you had girls before you wanted me, and I wanna know how many."

I shake my head, "Why's it important? No one mattered before you did."

"If they don't matter, what's the harm in telling me?"

I run my hand through my hair, "Promise you won't judge me?" She nods. "5. 5 different girls, and I can't tell you how many times."

"That's all?"

What. "That's all? What do you mean, 'that's all'?"

She giggles, "There were alot of girls at school who told me they'd slept with you. A lot more than that."

I roll my eyes, "I kissed more than that, but I only had sex with five."

She nods and lays back to where she was. "I just don't want you to think that the Capitol is forcing me into this with you, Gale. I'm doing this because I want to, and I want _you_. I wanted you since before you left to be a Peacekeeper."

The very words I've been dying to hear since we were Reaped, even since I left. It doesn't matter that I was leaving, it doesn't matter that we were fighting for our lives; her feelings are real. It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders to hear those words. She wants this life with me, she always has. The Capitol, the PRA, no other factors have contributed to this. She wants _me_.

I roll on my side to where I'm over her, my weight on my arm and the other hand on her cheek. She opens her eyes and bores into mine with an intensity I've never seen her have. "I love you, Gale," she whispers.

I smile, "I know, Catnip."

The silence falls easily again, just staring into each other's eyes. Can't say it's something I've ever done before—just being content looking into a girl's eyes—but intimacy wasn't ever really a priority with me. "Why'd you wanna know about my past?"

She smiles sheepishly, "Remember how i told you I could always hear the girls whispering at school?" I nod. "Glimmer was talking about you in the lobby before the interviews. Said you were a nice piece of meat and she really wanted you." She rolls her eyes, "Also winked in my direction and said she _always _got what she wanted."

I snort, "Why on Earth were you thinking about Glimmer?"

"'Cause your escort said something about it before we boarded the train today. Something about how Glimmer had easily been the prettiest girl in the Games this year."

I have to make a concentrated effort to not laugh out loud at the statement. Damn it, Rysalee.

"She wasn't," I say. "It doesn't matter what anyone says, you were my girl, the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

She leans up to kiss me, hands tangling in my hair, pulling me on top of her. The kiss reminds me of the one on the Training Center, where I'd longed to say goodbye to her. The same feeling rises in the pit of my stomach, making me crave more, want more, need more.

I need perfection. For Katniss.

I stop suddenly, getting to my feet and pulling her with me. I shrug on my boots and grab my bow, grinning and making her follow me. I lead her up the stream to the lake and the house on the hill next to it. We race to the entrance, breathless as we burst through the door to the old cabin. It's like I remembered, a small table, a chair, a fireplace, and an old bed.

I take a blanket out from the cabinet that we keep here in case we get caught out in the cold and lay it out over the bed. I sit down on top of it and pat the space next to me for Katniss to join me. "Is this what you want?" I ask her.

She nods, "I want this to be _our _decision, no one else's."

She reaches for my shirt, pulling it over my head. I smile, pulling off her jacket and her shirt off too. I kiss her just like I was in the forest a few minutes ago, not even realizing that my hands are finding her curves and laying her on the bed beneath me. I take it slower, kissing her neck, up her jawline and to her cheek, finding my way across it to her lips. She moans into my mouth, trying to inch me out of my pants. I comply, shucking them and my boxers off.

Katniss looks up at me and opens her eyes, her beautiful eyes. I know it's her first time, and I can understand that she's scared and needs reassurance. "It's my first time making love too, Catnip," I tease. The look doesn't leave her eyes, "I do love you, you know," I say. She nods and closes her eyes again, reaching up to pull my face to hers so she can kiss me.

I kiss her, eating up every inch and every reaction she has. I find her hands with mine, then pull her body close to me, trying to show her all the advantages of making love, trying to show her how much I love her with just my body. It goes beyond any sexual experience I've ever had, because like I had told her, those other girls didn't matter.

But she does. And with every kiss, every thrust, every time I cry out saying her name, i try to prove to her how much she means to me, how much she will always mean.

When we finally stop, breathless and dizzy with love, I find myself thinking that it can always be like this. Katniss will always be mine, and I will always be hers. anything else is really unthinkable.

* * *

Where are those damn kids? I know I told them it was safe to go in the woods, but I didn't mean all damn night.

I take another sip of the liquor. I'm not sure why they'd want to go back out there, they have all the food they could possibly eat in 3 lifetimes. Maybe they're actually doing a good deed and giving everything they catch to Seam families who deserve it. Calling more attention to the fact that they hunt. Illegally hunt.

But who listens to me.

I finally see them walk up the street to where the Victor's Village meets the Seam, giggling and holding hands in the way teenagers in love do. I get up from the porch, almost stumbling on my way. "Where've you two been?" I slur.

"Where do you think we were?" Gale asks. The boy is smart, he knows better than to give away everything so close to a house that Snow has bugged.

"Let's take a walk," I suggest.

Katniss sighs, "How about in the morning? You're drunk, it's late, and we're tired. We'll come wake you up." She takes Gale's hand and turns to lead him into the house.

I grab his forearm to stop them, "How about now, sweetheart?"

She rolls her eyes and complies.

We walk down the lane, almost into the town square but closer to the meadow that overlooks the fence that leads into the woods. As soon as we are out of town, I start talking, "I know that Snow left you a message for a reason, I've already called Cinna from a different phone. Apparently, the buzz between everyone involved in the Games is that this year's Quarter Quell is going to be a doozy. You have to be careful, 'cause the cards are just a show, the President can really do anything he wants with those cards and no one will ever know. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Gale nods, the color drained from his face, "You mean he's going to try to kill us again. Either directly or indirectly, somehow using the Quell."

"Yes," I reply. "Do what you have to do. Prepare yourselves in anyway you can, my guess is it'll have something to do with Rory or Prim. They're both eligible, right? The Victory Tour is in a few months, so i wouldn't worry about it now. They'll announce it as soon as the tour is over."

They both nod. "What about our house in the Seam? Is it bugged too?"

I shrug, "No idea, sweetheart. I'll look tomorrow though and let you know."

"What do you think they're going to do for the Quell?" Gale asks.

"I don't know. Let's just focus on getting back to normal lives, then the Victory tour in a few months. Go home and try to get some sleep," I say. I turn on the kids and start walking back to my lonely house.


	22. Secret

_Five months later_...

The Hob is busier than normal today, everybody probably wanting to get in their trades before the Victory Tour. Since the big focus is 12 this year, the amount of Peacekeepers in the district will probably be unbearable. Katniss and I have been hunting double and triple our normal amount lately, trying to feed families in the Seam. It's not really enough, but we give away money at every opportunity and try to buy from everyone in the Hob when we're here.

The whispers were awful the first few days we were back, people probably cashing in on the bets they'd made when we were fourteen and twelve. Katniss was just so sure that people could tell we'd slept together, but by and by, we kept sleeping together and the whispers just went away.

Greasy Sae just smiles when she sees us and lays out two bowls of soup, not even waiting for me to put down the coins. We have the same routine lately, and no one we meet complains. "What's to eat today, Sae?" I grin.

"Just for you, Hawthorne. Rabbit. I believe it's what you killed yesterday," she replies.

I take a deep whiff of the steaming soup and smile. Nothing comes close to Mom's rabbit stew, but the cold is biting today, and I noticed Katniss shivering more than normal. She also smells the soup and starts to grab the bowl to warm her hands. She leans over to whisper in my ear, "Does this smell _off_ to you?"

I shake my head, "No, fine to me."

She grimaces. "Eat up, Catnip. You're nervous enough about the Victory Tour and I can tell you haven't eaten lately. Don't make me force-feed you."

Darius taps me on the shoulder, "Hawthorne, got some news." Darius has been extra helpful in keeping Katniss and I out of trouble lately. Probably because Stayann, who is pregnant with his child, has been receiving more than enough meat thanks to Katniss and I lately.

"What's up?"

He leans in to my ear, "They're talking about bringing in a new head Peacekeeper. I'll let you know more, but just watch yourselves."

"On what grounds?" I sputter. "Cray's been doing a great job."

Darius throws up his hands and shrugs, "No idea. Just thought you'd like to know."

We finish our soups and get up to buy things for our siblings, making sure we stop at every booth in the Hob. Ribbons for Posy and Prim, books for Vick, and a new bow for Rory. Against my better judgement, Haymitch has advised we start teaching Rory to hunt and Prim how to gather, just in case the Quarter Quell is crazy. Rory's actually pretty good for a twelve year old, almost as good as I was when I started at 14 with a bow. He's even better with snares, and I'm tempted to just stop hunting and let him take over.

"Think we should teach Prim to yield a weapon after the Quell is announced?" I ask.

Katniss's face is one of pure horror, "Prim? With a weapon? In the woods? are you crazy?"

I shrug, "Rory's been begging me to take her out whenever we teach him. I think he's sweet on her."

I take her hand as we leave the Hob. "I think he is too," Katniss agrees. "Prim never stops talking about him, so who knows." She pauses, "He isn't nervous about his first Reaping?"

I shake my head, "Nah, not anymore than I was. We should probably take Rory and Prim into the woods with us for our feast."

She grins, and puts a hand to the locket I sent her for last year's Reaping. "Not sure if our 'feast' last year was good or bad luck, since we did both get Reaped."

I laugh, "Yeah, maybe we shouldn't take them anywhere."

When we reach the Victor's Village, I see Effie and Rysalee on the porch with Haymitch and our mothers, chatting eagerly about the Victory Tour, I assume. "Gale! Katniss!" Effie calls out, "Hurry and get dressed! We're leaving in 20 minutes! I swear, I thought I called to remind you of this, Katniss!" Effie starts droning on and on about Katniss's forgetfulness.

I walk in the house with her. I stay here enough and have enough clothes here that I don't even need to go in my own house to change. "I thought you said it was tomorrow?" I ask Katniss, pulling my shirt over my head.

She shrugs, "I just got my wires crossed, not a big deal."

"You haven't been sleeping," I offer. "Nightmares?"

She nods, "They've been getting worse. I think I'm going to take Effie's advice and see a doctor while we're in the Capitol. She said they can give me a medicine so i won't have any nightmares."

"Maybe I should go with you."

"No," Katniss says sharply, pulling on her new dress Cinna sent her. "Yours stopped being terrible after you got out of the hospital after the Games. Your problem was the morphling. Mine is just being crazy."

I put up my hands, surrendering. "You know me better than I know myself, so I trust you."

She doesn't find the joke funny and just heads out the door to where our escorts are waiting.

The tour starts in 11, and that's probably going to be the hardest district, i'm glad we get to get it out of the way first. Katniss and I sit on the couch on the train, and i'm glad that she's come around from being mad earlier. Haymitch enters the room, and he looks like he's alot more sober than he wants to be.

"Listen, you two. This tour is a big deal. You say what they tell you to, you smile, wave, kiss, and we leave. Got it?"

We nod. "We can't even say anything to Rue's family?" Katniss asks.

"No, you can't, sweetheart. You're going to be watched like hawks. the only crazy thing you're allowed to do is propose or get married," Haymitch squawks.

Katniss rolls her eyes and gets up from the couch, "Time for bed, Gale. We have a big day tomorrow."

Sure enough, it feels like no sooner did we lay in the bed and fall asleep, Effie came into the room talking about what a "big, big, big day" we were going to have. I groan and roll over, expecting to find Katniss next to me, but the sheets were cold and empty.

"Where's Kat?" I slur to Effie.

She smiles, "Already with Cinna, dear! She said to let you sleep as long as we could."

I nod and Effie leaves the room. I shower and dress in the clothes Cinna has laid out for me, and reading the note that says I don't have to go to the prep crew. Guess I look pretty enough. I stay in my room until the time the note told me to go downstairs. I see Haymitch and Rysalee, even Brutus has made the trip down surprisingly. He shakes my hand, "Told you it wouldn't be the last time we saw each other, Hawthorne."

"Thank goodness," I chuckle.

He shows me the door where I'll enter to the stage. Katniss will enter from the other side, he explains. The door opens and the crowd of 11 cheers for us loudly, and I can easily pick out where the tribute's families sit. I can easily pick out Thresh's father too, because he looks exactly like his son. The other, much larger family must belong to Rue, and I see alot of younger brothers and sisters, which is probably why no one volunteered for her.

I take Katniss's hand onstage and she smiles as she starts to read from the card the Capitol gave us. "We're very sorry for your losses," she begins and suddenly she cuts off. I look at her and notice she's starting to cry. I turn back to the crowd, thinking to hell with their note, "We are very sorry. We only knew Thresh and Rue for a short time, but they impacted our lives deeper than you can imagine. Rue was a beacon of light in a dark time for us. She is the reason we won, the reason we wanted to come home."

"We would like to send a year's worth of our winnings to the families of Rue and Thresh," I finish. A sharp gasp comes over the crowd, and I can see the tears on Rue's mother's face. I look at Katniss and notice she's trying her best to keep it together. I finally feel as if I became a Victor for a reason besides selfishness. I'm finally impacting someone's family besides my own.

One by one, the people of district 11 kiss the three middle fingers of their left hands and extend them to the sky. They're with us, they love us, they will follow us.

Two Peacekeepers come from behind us and grab us, pulling us back into a room. Before the door closes, I hear three gunshots. Katniss starts to cry into my chest, and I follow the instructions the Peacekeepers give till we are back on the train. The dinners, the banquets, everything is cancelled, and we are off to district 10.

...

After almost a week of being paraded around the districts and being good little puppets, we arrive in the Capitol. the response here is ten times as big as it is in the districts, and the parties are better, except for their determination to keep Katniss and I separated. Often after the banquets and parties, the only time I spend with her is while we're on the train, zooming towards another location. I figure this is on purpose so we don't do anything else damaging, but I don't really spend much time thinking about it either.

But while Katniss is at the party entertaining the Gamemaker in a dance, I'm given alcohol that's way better than anything Haymitch drinks and more than one Capitol woman's phone number is slipped in my pocket. The women don't really seem to understand that I love Katniss and I only want her, but it seems like the more I say that, the more I'm refuted with drinks that make me fuzzy.

In my head, I know what they're trying to do: trying to prove me unfaithful for fuel for Snow, and I do my best to refuse. More than once during the night, Effie is forced to retrieve me and take me away from the Capitol women and their charms. Finally, after Snow's speech about Katniss and I and all the toasts are made, some Avoxes carry me to my bed and tuck me in.

In the morning, I wake to Katniss sitting at the edge of the bed, crying and clutching the locket I gave her. I raise up to put a hand on her shoulder, but my world is still spinning from all the alcohol I had last night. So I settle with sinking back to my pillow and asking, "What's wrong?"

She turns sharply, "Oh.. Nothing." she wipes her eyes, "Just went to the doctor this morning for the nightmares, but—but I had another one. It's still bothering me." She's lying. I know she's lying. But my head hurts too bad to press it, so I just try to sit up.

"Well," I pause, "Why don't you take a shower with me? Wash off your bad dream and help me get over this hangover?"

She giggles, "Capitol women got under your skin, eh?"

I shake my head, "Leave it to you to bring that up. First I'm waiting for you to get done dancing with the Head Gamemaker, next thing I know, I wake up in my bed with phone numbers in my pocket."

Within an hour, we are showered, dressed, and zooming back to district 12, the horror of the Victory tour behind us. It's been almost two weeks, and I know I'm dying to get back to the woods, I'm sure Katniss is too.

As we go to step off the train, Haymitch puts his arms in front of us, "Don't forget to watch them announce the Quell tonight. It's your first year as mentors, you need to start thinking ahead." We nod and start running towards her house in the Seam, eager to get our hunting things and head to the woods.

Five squirrels, five fish, a turkey, and an intense love-making session later, we start to head back to town, planning on stopping at some houses in the Seam to give away our food, only planning on keeping keeping the turkey. Before we get to the fence, Katniss leans in to whisper to me, "I spoke to my prep team, and I should have told you in the woods. They say the Capitol is experiencing shortages in goods."

Shortages can only mean one thing: districts are rebelling. Which means instead of squashing the rebellions, Katniss and I gave them a reason to fight.

Perfect.

"Which districts?" I breathe.

"Four, eight, ten, and eleven."

I straighten up and act as if nothing has happened. "Let's hurry back, it's almost dark and they're going to announce the Quell soon." She nods, and we hurry back, almost running back to our houses to try to get in from the cold. We open the door to the Everdeen house, the smell of fresh ham meeting our noses. Our moms like to get together and cook once a week, making it seem like a _real_ home, with a _real_ family. We shed our jackets in the hall, and head for the living room, the two of us almost collapsing on the couch.

It's probably the day we've all been waiting for, the announcing of the Quell. I can honestly say a huge load has been taken off my shoulders, since Katniss and i are both not eligible this year. But the fact that Prim's 13 and Rory's 12 _and _that it's a Quell this year... Let's just say someone besides Rue has been starring in my nightmares lately. They're easier whenever I sleep with Katniss, but there's always the odd night that we sleep alone, and they get worse then.

The huge and unnecessary TV comes on with the anthem of Panem played loudly. It takes me back to the arena, but I quickly shake myself out of it, I don't want that flashback right now.

Being a mentor this year is probably going to be worse than being a tribute last year, since I can't control any of the deaths from the mentoring room. But Haymitch assures us that it's not as bad as we think it is, and I think he's honestly excited to have someone else want to take over the duties, I can only imagine how only having one successful tribute in 25 years feels.

The President walks to the podium and announces some nonsense about why the Quarter Quell is necessary. It's all bullshit to me, having something particularly nasty just to remind everyone that you're in power isn't necessary. Apparently it's bullshit to Katniss too, because she laughs as hard as I do.

Katniss's mother quiets us down as Snow gets out an envelope sitting in a full stack. How many damn envelopes do they have? How long did the founders expect the Hunger Games to last?!

Snow opens the envelope and smiles. It's an evil smile, one that a snake would have, and he starts to read. "This third Quarter Quell, to remind the districts that even the strongest among them cannot rebel, the tributes will be reaped from," he stops, smiling down at the envelope and then again into the camera. "Victors will be reaped from the existing pool of Victors."

Time slows down, stops even.

Everyone in the room turns to look at Katniss and I. But all we can do is stare blankly at the television. The existing pool of Victors... is that even possible? "Can they even do that?" Rory asks.

I shake my head, Haymitch can't go back into the arena, he's too good as a mentor and he won't be of any use to Katniss or I. But Katniss... there's only one district 12 female tribute. And i'm holding her hand.

She promptly gets up and walks out of the room, grabbing her coat from the closet. I nod to her mother and say that I'll go get her, sprinting to get my own coat.

The snow is thick, but I don't have to look at her tracks to know where she's going—she's headed for the house in the Seam, probably just to collect her thoughts. But when I get to her, she's not sitting and thinking, she's pacing.

"No, no, no, no," she mutters, not even noticing that I've arrived.

"Katniss," I begin, but I realize that i really don't have any words to say.

"How can they do this?" She snaps. "I'm supposed to never go back.. that's the only reason why..." she trails off, not even bothering to offer an explanation.

I run my hand through my hair, "What the hell is going on?"

She stops suddenly, as if explaining what's happened had never crossed her mind. She turns to look at me and i notice tears on her cheeks. "I have something I should've told you weeks ago."

I cock an eyebrow at her, "You know you can tell me anything, Catnip."

"Gale..." she begins. "I'm pregnant."


	23. Hearing

The thought floors me. I barely register that I've found my way to a seat. Katniss, my Katniss. _Pregnant _? She seems to understand because she just sits next to me and strokes my hand and my face. "How long have you known?" I don't even realize I'm speaking, but there the words are.

She looks down, "The doctor in the Capitol was the one who told me. Said I'm not very far along at all. He can't tell anyone though, something about confidentiality."

"The—the Quell..." I trail off.

"It doesn't look like I have a choice," Katniss spits. "I wasn't very concerned about being pregnant, since you love me regardless. But now... I'm going to be pregnant during these Games... Gale..."

I can't even come up with something to say, hell I'm not even sure I can voice complete thoughts. So I just sit, letting Katniss sit in my lap and just holding her. I don't know how long we sit that way until Rory comes through the door breathless, "You two didn't come back, I-I came looking."

We're still too shocked to move, let alone speak. "Are you two okay?" Rory asks.

Katniss nods, "Yes... Tell our mothers we have to find Haymitch." Rory nods and leaves the room.

"Why Haymitch?" I ask.

"He'll know what we can do, if there's anything we _can _do." I nod and get up, helping her put on her jacket and heading for Haymitch's house in the Victor's Village.

We hesitantly knock on the door, not really even sure that he's home. I mean, Haymitch doesn't really go anywhere else except to the liquor booth of the Hob, and no one is out today because of the Quell announcement. We wait a few minutes before I just get fed up and open the door. The first thing I register is just how terribly it smells, and how dirty it is. I don't really understand how anyone can live this way, and I turn to make a joke with Katniss, but she's already put her head in a trash can and is vomiting violently.

I don't know much about pregnancy, but I'm pretty sure that's going to happen often for the next few months. So I just walk over to her and hold her hair back from her face while rubbing her back with the other.

"Haymitch?" I call loud enough to know it'll echo through the large house.

I hear him grumble from the living room, "What do you want?"

I take Katniss's hand and walk through the hallway to the living room. It's just as filthy as the rest of the place. Haymitch sits in a chair, bottle in one hand and remote in the other. "Come to discuss strategy?" he taunts.

I nod, "We have a serious problem."

"Other than the fact that one of us is going to have to die, or the fact that we don't even know what district you'll be reaped as, boy?"

Katniss grabs the bottle from him and slings it across the room, letting it shatter on the wall opposite us. "Bigger problems than that," she snarls.

Haymitch sits up from his slumped position and glares at Katniss, "What the hell is so important, sweetheart?"

Katniss flashes her eyes at me, and I nod, _better tell him_.

"I can't go in the Games." the statement just lingers in the air, and I can feel myself stop breathing.

Haymitch chuckles, "Doesn't look like you have a choice sweetheart."

Katniss swallows and looks at me again, "I'm pregnant, Haymitch."

His face turns to confusion, "Pregnant?" He pauses for a moment, looking at his bottle. I know him well enough to know he's trying to think of a loophole of some kind. But he can't. None of us can escape it. "Who knows?"

"Only Gale and the Capitol doctor who told me."

Haymitch nods, "We can just go ahead and assume that Snow knows too. Remember what I told you about the cards?" We nod. "I would bet this is on purpose."

I look around the dark room, "What about the conversation we had regarding bugs?"

He shakes his head, "Had'em all taken out, we can speak freely, boy."

I nod, "So you think the doctor told Snow that Katniss is pregnant, just so he could switch the cards?"

"Can't say for sure," Haymitch shrugs and takes another sip of the liquor. "Snow is a pro at covering his tracks. We won't ever know for sure. But we should assume that he knows more than we do at all times."

Katniss slumps into the dirty couch, "What am I going to do? I can't die, because it'll kill my baby. Gale can't die, because it won't have a father. We can't get out two times in a row."

"No..." I say, a thought formulating. "And the people of the Capitol have to know that. If we can get them to care, if we can get the districts to see how terrible this is-"

"They'll feel sorry for you and that will be the end of it," Haymitch snaps.

I look at him, I know he's hiding something too, but Haymitch is better at these things than I am, so I decide to let it go for now, shooting a look at Katniss for her to do the same.

"For now, you only tell your families. Do not tell anyone else," he says. "We'll reveal it when the moment is right."

Katniss shoots him a look of disapproval, "I'm not using my baby for sponsor money," she snaps.

"You'll do as I say to keep that baby alive, now won't you?" Haymitch shouts. He takes another sip to finish the bottle, "Keep your heads high, the district is going to be looking at the two of you for strength. You're coming home and you will make them believe it."

He walks to the icebox and pulls out another bottle of liquor. It's white and smells way worse than the whisky he gave me. "Now, get the hell out of here and go home."

We put our coats back on and head out to the cold. Katniss is shivering, so I wrap my arm around her and lead her back to her house in the Victor's Village. I take her to the front steps, kissing her on the cheek. "You probably want to be alone tonight, so I'll sleep at my house."

She looks at me, "That's the last thing I want. I've told you, Hawthorne. My dreams are worse when you aren't here." She grins as she opens the door and I follow her up the stairs and to her room. She has the only bedroom on the second floor, mainly because I'm here all the time, but partially because she usually screams so loud from the nightmares, and the floor level suffocates the noise from waking her mom and Prim.

She starts to undress as soon as she hits her door, picking up one of my teeshirts from the dresser and slipping it on. i smile and dress down to my boxers, turning out the light and following her inbetween the quilts and blankets.

As I hold her in my arms, I realize the gravity of what's going to happen. "Catnip," I say. "I'm going to be a... a _father_."

I can feel her chuckle on my chest, "That's generally what happens when you have a baby."

"We're going to be _parents_," I say again. The thought has been bouncing around in my head all day. "I thought I was going to die for you in the Games, I never thought that we would make love, or have a baby, or anything." I can feel her laugh in my arms, "I've always wanted to start a family with you, Katniss."

"Yeah," Katniss sighs.

I've always been able to pride myself on knowing Katniss better than she knows herself. A sigh like that, in so happy of a conversation, can only mean one thing. "What's wrong, Catnip?"

"Gale, they aren't going to want to rule in our favor as far as your Reaping. We'll be lucky if they don't hand you back to 2 since that's where you were reaped out of last time." She sighs, "besides that, they won't let us both out twice. I'm going to be almost six months pregnant when the Games start. I won't be able to be malnourished or run around an arena killing people."

She's right. I haven't even begun to think about that, but her mind has always worked faster than mine. I kiss her forehead and squish her to me, "You know I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Now, let's just go to sleep and not worry about it for a few more months. How does that sound?"

She snuggles close and kisses my hand, stroking her cheek, "I love you, Gale."

"I know, Catnip," I chuckle. I start to hum a soft melody she used to sing in the woods. It's something I do often, because she says it keeps her nightmares away. Within a few verses, she is lightly snoring on my chest.

* * *

The whispers are getting louder and louder as I walk through the doors to the head Justice Building. The Capitol is swarming with emotional people. Some are crying, some are laughing and singing, and some look like they're a step away from bringing out their pitchforks. For some reason I don't know, the decision to reap tributes out of the pool of Victors has just set some people's tempers on full blast. Personally, I think it's going to be the best Hunger Games ever!

But the biggest concern this week is Gale Hawthorne! Even though I was partially his escort last year, the big talk is whether he is eligible for district 2's reaping or for 12's! The hearings are today, which is half of why so many people are gathered around the steps to the Justice Building. I'm presenting my case for him to be Reaped out of 12. Not only because Haymitch is the only other Victor, but because he lived there all his life, regardless of where he was actually reaped from.

But no matter, no matter. The President will give the best ruling—he always does. Haymitch always laughs at me and says I give the President too much credit, but I've always lived in the Capitol, I've never known anything else.

My heels click as I walk in the door and give my coat to the woman at the front desk. It's chilly now, and they're calling for snow soon. I hope it does snow, I do love to see the city bathed in white. I take my bag and walk down the hall to the main conference room, because apparently this is a huge deal with the citizens—such a big deal that it is to be televised and broadcasted to the entire nation. I'm just sure everybody will be watching that I've worn my best outfit: powder blue blazer with white diamonds down the lapels, a matching pencil skirt, and a shimmery white top underneath. Even my white hair matches today—I think I look simply lovely! Cinna even stopped by before I left to look over my outfit and wish me luck.

I take a deep breath before opening the large wooden door. I'm supposed to be the first speaker today, and I really don't want to be late. Even though everyone is already seated and waiting, I check the clock and see that I was fifteen minutes early.

"Welcome, Miss Trinket," the President calls to me from his seat. "Please take your seat and we will begin a little earlier than scheduled." I nod and walk briskly to the seat he has pointed out for me. I open my bad and retrieve the folders and papers I've gathered for my speech today—it's not supposed to be long, but Cinna, Haymitch, and I have gone over and over all of my points to make sure I hit everything I'm supposed to. Rysalee is just behind me and she taps me on the shoulder for encouragement. She's supposed to be speaking on Gale's behalf tomorrow if I'm not mistaken.

The President begins by stating the mission statement of Panem, and of the court we're in. He nods to me, "Our mission in this court is to determine which district Victor Gale Hawthorne should be reaped from. We will be hearing witnesses on this all week, the first of which being Miss Effie Trinket, the escort for District 12, as well as Hawthorne's escort during the Victory Tour." He nods to me again for me to stand up.

I take my papers to the podium, taking another deep breath and smiling ever so sweetly, "Ladies and gentlemen of the court and of Panem, I'm speaking on behalf of District 12 today. Gale Hawthorne is a district 12 native, one of the many generations of people who were born into the district and lived there for most of their lives. His father was a supervisor in the mines that provided coal to keep the citizens of the Capitol warm. It was these same mines that claimed Mikeal Hawthorne's life and forced Gale into a role of breadwinner for the Hawthorne family."

"It was never easy for Gale, even after he found friendship in the form of Katniss Everdeen, who's father was also claimed in the mining accident. Many of you know that the friendship eventually turned to love, and that's part of why we're here today. Gale realized he couldn't feed his family with just the income from the mines, so he joined with the Peacekeeper's Recruitment Agency in district 2. And because of that recruitment, he was brought to 2 and reaped from there."

"Upon winning the Games and realizing the Quell, we are faced with a serious question. Do we reap Gale out of the district in which he lived his entire life, or do we reap him out of the one he lived in for only a year? Do we grant him citizenship of District 2, or let him represent his home?" I pause for the dramatic effect that Cinna wanted. I look around the room, "If it were you, wouldn't you want to bring pride to your _home_ district? Let the people who have known you since you were a child look at you with pride? Would you really want to represent a District that you feel no more allegiance to than for a job? because that's all Gale was doing—working. Striving at a job so he could feed his family. He didn't join up for the love of District 2 or for wanting to get out of 12. No, he missed twelve, every second he was away. And 12 missed him."

I bow to the President and briefly acknowledge the applause as the President dismisses me from the podium. My new heels click all the way down the hall, and I am surrounded with applause from outside the building. Clearly, I've made the right choice.

I walk briskly back to my apartment and turn on the news, hoping to see something from the hearing today. I know the board is still days away from a decision, but I would like to think that I did something worthwhile, something that will help Gale.

Even though he wasn't my tribute, I actually like Gale, and I know how Katniss just dotes on him, and Haymitch has told me how much it'll help their image if they're in the Quell together. At first I thought it was a plea to get out of fighting himself, but he's explained to me how it's just to help the "star-crossed lovers" image, which is something the Capitol just _loves_.

Even as I walk through town, people still wear buttons with Gale and Katniss's faces on them, and nearly everyone still talks about them. "Whatever will the two of them do now that they're both in the Quell?" I overhear a woman say from the coffee shop.

"It's just terrible!" her friend agrees. "As bad as I want them both to come home, I just don't see how it's possible!"

They sip their coffee, "Do you think he'll go back in with her?" the first friend asks.

"I don't know," the second replies. "I certainly hope so. It'll make for an even better Games than last year!"

"The President will just _have_ to let Gale and Katniss go in again!" she exclaims. "Everyone will be sorely mad if they don't!"

I smile as I walk by. That anger is exactly what I'm counting on.


	24. Trouble

"Rue?" I call through the trees. "Rue? Stop playing hide and seek. It's dangerous out here."

The forest is dark, dense, moist, and scary. It's been hours since the sun went down and Rue was supposed to be back before dark. I finally gave up and decided to go looking for her, leaving a note in the dirt in case she came back. I have my bow armed and ready, softly calling for her every few feet. I whistle, I sing, I call her, nothing works.

Just as I'm about to head back to camp, I spot a pool of blood in the dim light. A large pool.

Assuming the worst, I run in the direction of the blood trail, frantically calling for Rue and not caring who hears me. Faster, faster, I run, looking for her.

And then the trail just stops. Whatever was bleeding must have bled out, because there was too much blood for the answer to be otherwise.

"_Katniss_," something whispers. I slowly turn, bow raised. It's Rue.

She looks like an angel, in a soft white dress. Her hair is pulled back and she softly smiles at me. I lower my weapon and reach out to hold her, but at my touch she changes. Her clothes darken and become ragged, torn everywhere. Her hair falls and becomes frayed at the ends. The smile curls down into a snarl, and the pure white becomes stained red with blood. "_Why didn't you save me_?" the small beast asks.

I turn, running for the woods, running to get away.

"_Katniss, Katniss,_" I hear calling me. How can the beast know my name? Why is it following me? "_Katniss, wake up_," it calls again.

Suddenly I am shaken, and I open my eyes to Gale's face.

"Catnip, are you okay?" Gale asks, his voice panicky.

"Yes," I pant. "I'm okay, just a bad dream."

Gale sits up and wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. "It's okay, you're alright now. I won't let anything happen to you," he chants over and over. I know he's right, and I know the dream wasn't real. But since I got pregnant, I just can't keep the dreams away. "Want to talk about it?"

I shake my head, "Just Rue. The same dream, every night."

He sighs. It doesn't matter how many times I tell him about the dream or how many times I talk about Rue, she always stars in my dreams. My mother and Hazelle have said the dreams will go away when I have my baby, but that's still six months away. I roll over from Gale's grasp and check the clock, it's nearly 5:30, which is when we set the alarm for. I turn off the clock and get out of the covers, walking to the full length mirror on my closet door.

Just like every morning, I pull up Gale's oversized teeshirt to examine my growing stomach. To the untrained eye, I don't look any different than I did three months ago. But to Gale and I, I have put on some serious weight. Whether it's due to the baby or because Gale makes me eat three times as much as normal people at every meal, I'll never know. I examine the slight protruding of my stomach and I hear Gale groan from the bed. "Do we have to get up? Can't we just sleep today?"

"Not you," I giggle. "We have Seam families to feed, hunting skills to work on, and you have to train."

Gale groans again, "Maybe I should get pregnant so I don't have to do anything but hunt and sleep and eat all day," he teases.

"Wasn't my choice to get knocked up," I say, taking off his shirt and putting on my hunting gear. He surrenders and gets dressed as well, and we slip out of the house before six.

Spring is in the air, and it's started to heat up through town. It kind of worries me because there's only a few months left until the Reaping, but my mother says anxiety is bad for the baby, so I've tried not to worry about it. The good thing about this year is that Prim and Rory are safe, and as long as I'm alive, I can protect our baby. Gale and I have been training with Haymitch every day, but since i'm three months pregnant, there isn't much I can do except shoot. We wake up early, go to the woods, hunt more food than necessary, drop off game to the Seam families, and then head to Haymitch's house.

But today is different. Today is Prim's birthday, and I want to do something special for her. Gale and I have been planning out surprise for a week and he's just as nervous as I am that something will go wrong. We hunt in silence, stalking prey through the woods, something good enough for Prim's birthday meal. Falling back into our rhythm took a few weeks after the Games, but we've finally become so in sync that it's like Gale never left for district two. Honestly, I'm surprised it's taken nearly a year, but a bond like ours doesn't form back over night.

For every step I take, he mirrors me, following me exactly. It's almost science, or poetry, it flows almost harmonious with the forest around us. When I stop, he stops, and whatever direction I look, he automatically knows to look that way too. Was it fate that brought together two matching puzzle pieces like us? Or was it our mutual need that nurtured our souls to be so in sync together? I don't know, and I hope I never do, because the last year or so has taught me just how important Gale Hawthorne is to me, and it's proved that we really are two pieces cut from the same cloth.

While pondering my thoughts, I see the perfect turkey down the hill from us. Half a second later, my arrow is embedded in his neck, and Gale's follows. I smile and giggle as we trudge down and Gale attaches the turkey to his belt. We do this silently, making no other noise except for two more arrows, bringing down two squirrels.

"Okay, Catnip. We got a turkey for Prim, what else do you want?" Gale smirks.

I shrug, "I wanted to give Cray the turkey and get Prim something else."

Gale nods, "I saw deer tracks over by the stream. Want to track?"

I nod, _let's go get it_.

We follow the deer tracks for a good hour, and I refuse to give up on it. The sun has risen through the trees, causing us to kill two more squirrels, but I refuse to give up. I want that deer, and the farther we go, the more obsessed I become with the idea.

I hear a branch crack to my left, I turn and let the arrow fly in the same motion, hastily grabbing another from the quiver. Gale lets two go in the time that I reload, but the deer is already finished. It's a little on the thin side—probably just got done hibernating—but I can't hide my excitement at the deer meat we'll eat for Prim's birthday tonight.

We immediately start heading back for the fence, hiding our weapons and carrying the animals. Gale insists on me only carrying the four squirrels, saying he's been training enough that the deer and turkey aren't really that heavy—I know better, but I let him carry on anyway. When we reach the fence, I hand out the squirrels to trade.

"What are you doing?" Gale asks.

"I'm going to take Cray the turkey," I state. "You can go get the deer meat butchered, and by the time that's done, i'll be back and we can trade the squirrels together."

He shakes his head, "I don't like the idea of you carrying a huge turkey through town."

"Good thing I didn't ask," I spit. The damn pregnancy mood swings really suck, and I know I've been taking too much of them out on Gale. I soften my voice and smile, "I can't let you do all the work. I have to do _something. _Cray loves me, nothing will happen,"i promise. He nods and hands over the turkey, knowing he won't win against me._  
_

He kisses me and walks toward the Hob, while I take the turkey through town to Cray's Peacekeeper quarters. It's not unusual for Gale or I to carry an animal like this through town, but it is unusual for me to be alone, which is why everyone is staring at me, I guess. Or they've all figured out I'm pregnant and they just can't believe it—either is likely. So I just smile and keep walking to Cray's quarters, just like normal.

When I arrive at his door, I take the turkey off my belt and knock. But the guy who answers the door isn't Cray. Or one of the girls who stays with him. I've never seen this man before.

"Who are you?" I ask. "Where's Cray?"

The man smiles, "Head Peacekeeper Cray has been excused from his duties. I'm Romulus Thread, and I'm the new head Peackeeper." He studies my face and then looks down at my turkey, "You must be Miss Everdeen. And _that, _my dear, is an illegal turkey."

I'm in trouble. A lot of trouble.

* * *

I wish I knew why Katniss is being so adamant about doing things on her own lately. My mother says it's because she feels useless due to being pregnant, but I wish she'd consider what's best for her and our baby.

Even though Katniss really isn't that excited yet, I'm more than enough excited for the two of us. I'm finally going to have the family I wanted, and it honestly doesn't matter who tries to stop us.

But today, my family is excited over Prim's birthday. Rory has talked about it non-stop, what he's going to get her, how surprised she's going to be, how much she's going to love everything, etc etc. He's been giving me a headache and I'm honestly glad the party is tonight so I don't have to listen to it anymore. The butcher hands me the meat from the deer, excluding her 20% that she keeps. Fair enough for me, and I don't like being cheated.

I look around the Hob, expecting to see Katniss. I'm not worried because she probably got caught up talking to Cray or they started to haggle over price or whatever. I just hope she doesn't have a mood swing and get herself arrested.

I go through to all the booths, buying things we really don't need and trading the squirrels for the things we do need. No one tries to cheat me, they all know better, but still Katniss doesn't show up. Greasy Sae looks worried at the sight of me without Katniss.

"Where's your other half, Hawthorne?"

I shrug, "Supposed to be taking a turkey to Cray's and meeting me back here, but she hasn't shown up yet."

The color drains from her face, "Cray isn't here anymore."

What. "Who? What? Why?"

Sae looks around, "Darius told his this morning. Cray's been excused. They've brought in a new guy, and he's plenty mean, Gale."

_Shit_. I drop everything in my hands and start running for town, Darius and Thom, a guy from school, go with me. It's warm enough for a light jacket, but cold enough that the air burns in my lungs, but I don't stop. If Katniss made it to the Head Peacekeeper with a turkey, especially to a guy that doesn't know us... She could be executed on the spot, or given lashes, or killed.

I burst through the fence, praying that it's not on and start running even faster for town. _Not Katniss, no Katniss, please not Katniss_, I pray.

The streets through town are empty, but I still run with Darius and Thom trying to find her. What will I do if something has happened to her? What will I do if she's already dead? The questions burn through my mind, but I don't have an answer.

We start to see the people making their way to the town square. Darius stops to ask one what's going on, "A whipping," the older lady says.

"_A whipping_?!" I scream, taking off to find her.

But there she is, strapped to a post. Her hands are bound in front of her, and the tears stream down her face. But her jaw is set, and I know she's determined not to show them how afraid she is. Her shirt has been cut open, exposing her back to the chill. I try to run to her, but Thom holds me back while Darius tries to approach the new Peacekeeper.

"They'll kill you, Gale," Thom assures me.

"That's my girl!" I scream. "They can't whip her!"

I struggle and struggle, feeling hot tears run down my face and the sympathetic looks from the people surrounding us. I can see Darius trying to reason with the man, but he won't back down. He puts up his hand to silence Darius and takes the whip. "By order of the Capitol, any citizen found with illegal weapons or kills will be given forty lashes by the whip," he says plainly, as if he were discussing the weather.

"No, no, no!" I scream again.

The man turns to face where I am, "Is there something anyone would like to say?"

I escape from Thom's grasp, "It's my kill. You're whipping the wrong person."

Katniss looks up and sees me, hears my voice coming from the crowd, "No! don't let him do this!" she screams, but her hands have already been untied by Darius, and he puts his coat over her bare back. I am led by Peacekeepers up to the platform, to the same position where Katniss was. My hands are tied, my shirt is cut, and the Peacekeeper says the words again. He raises the lash and searing pain races across my back. He counts, "One," grunts with the force of the lash, "two... Three... Four... Five."

And as if someone feels sorry for me, the pain in my back numbs, and the crowd, the noise, everything disappears.


	25. Names

I think this is all my fault.

No, wait. That's dumb. It's _completely_ all my fault. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

_I_ am the reason Gale Hawthorne is lying in my kitchen being worked on by my mother.

_I _am the one who didn't listen to Gale when he tried to get me to take him to Cray's.

_I_ am the one who didn't listen to the rumors of a new head Peacekeeper.

And _I _am the one who let Gale take the fall for me.

Of course, the last one really isn't my fault-pregnancy didn't really give me a choice. Prim's already told me three times that being whipped probably would've lost the baby. I should probably care more than I do, but seeing Gale in so much pain has really fucked with me. I felt every lash on Gale's skin as if it were being branded into my own. Every cry of pain was like a slap in the face. And when he finally passed out, Darius had to hold me up so I didn't faint to the ground. Haymitch finally saved him, mumbling some bullshit to the Peacekeeper about a photo shoot in the Capitol and that Cinna would have his ass if the whipping didn't stop. Whether the guy believed Haymitch or was just bored with whipping Gale, I'm not sure, but he released Gale to us and sent everyone home.

Thom and some of Gale's other buddies from school brought him into the house and my mother immediately went right to work. Whippings and executions aren't mandatory for all citizens of the districts, so she had no news of Gale's whipping until he was brought into the house. Haymitch and Darius dragged me along behind them, trying their best to keep me quiet so I didn't get the lash too.

My mother instructs them to lay Gale on the table, completely getting rid of what was left of his shirt and exposing his mangled body to everyone in the room. The image of his wounds is awful, terrible, disgusting, and forever burned into my mind. Haymitch has to hold tight to my arm so I won't collapse in the kitchen.

Prim starts mixing together a paste made of some of the herbs that Gale brought in yesterday, and I find myself thankful once again that the two of us know how to hunt and gather so well. Gale regained consciousness somewhere between the whipping post and the Victor's Village, but he can't do more than moan in pain every time something moves him.

Every moan is a fresh slap in the face or kick to the ribs.

"Unghh..." he moans, "Katniss..."

My head jerks up at the mention of my name. it's a question of where I am. Regardless of how much pain Gale is in (and at the moment I think it's alot), his first concern is me: if i'm okay, where I am. I break Haymitch's grasp and almost jump across the kitchen to be by his side, but Darius stops me, giving me a hard glance to stay out of the way and let my mother work.

Upon no one answering him, Gale starts to form words and tries to rise from the table. "Where's... Katniss?" he grunts, trying to use his arms to push him off the table, but his arms and shoulders won't support his weight, so he crashes back down to the table, crying out in pain.

"I'm here, Gale!" I call to him, trying again to break Darius's grasp. Gale looks around, but his eyes look glazed over, as if he isn't seeing anything, so I call again. "I'm right here, Gale. I'm perfectly fine." The words appease him, and his head sinks back down to the table, as if he can only be taken care of now that he knows that I am.

"It's ready, Mom!" Prim calls, handing my mother the green paste for the gashes on Gale's back.

She nods and takes the bowl, I unconsciously step forward, not even realizing how close I am until I reach out to grab Gale's hand. My mother's head turns sharply to Haymitch, "Take her out of here."

It doesn't occur that they're talking about me until Haymitch grabs my arm.

"But no!" I shout. "I have to _be here_!"

My mother takes my shoulder, "It's too much stress for the baby. You aren't just thinking of yourself anymore, Katniss. Go find Hazelle, Rory, Vick, and Posy... _Now_."

I nod and surrender to Haymitch pulling me. I walk toward the hallway, only turning around to find my coat. Just as I do, my mother applies the green paste to Gale's skin.

"_AUGH_!" He cries out. She motions for Thom to hold Gale down and keeps applying it, and he keeps screaming in pain, cursing every thing he can.

I lurch forward, "_STOP_! You're hurting him!" I scream at my mother. "You can't hurt him!"

I keep moving forward, trying to get to him, but Haymitch and Darius put their arms around my waist and carry me outside. Stepping into the night air makes my head spin, so I lean over the side of the porch and violently throw up for a few seconds. I'm honestly surprised I kept it together for as long as I did, and judging by the looks on Haymitch and Darius's faces, they are too. My head starts to swim from all the pressure of what just happened, and I'm honestly glad we're going to see Hazelle. The woman has been a second mother to me for most of my life-she'll know how to handle what just happened.

But when we cross over to the Hawthorne house of the Victor's Village, we don't find anyone. Hazelle and all three of the kids are gone. Whether it's due to hormones or my own logic, i'm not sure, but I immediately start to panic. "C-could they have taken them?" I ask Haymitch.

He shakes his head, "What's the motive? Snow probably knows about your condition, and you two _do_ have a promotional photo shoot in the Capitol next week, so why take away your boyfriend's family?"

He's right. I know he's right. "Maybe we should look around, she might have left Gale a note or something," Darius suggests. I open my mouth to question why he's with us, but I realize that it's probably smarter to be wandering the streets _with_ a Peackeeper rather than without one, so I keep my mouth shut and start looking for a note that Hazelle would've left for Gale.

The living room, kitchen, and den are all spotless, but no notes. I try to think of anything that would've called them away from being home, but my mind is too busy panicking to be very productive.

"Would Rory have gone to the Hob?" Darius asks.

"No," I shake my head. "Gale and I never let him."

Haymitch nods, "Would he have went looking there if you two hadn't come home?"

"Aw hell," I curse.

"I'll go to the Hob and look for him. I'll account for his whereabouts if something is said," Darius offers.

I nod, "I'll go to their house in the Seam. Maybe she went there."

"And I'll go to _your_ house in the Seam," Haymitch adds.

The three of us go our separate ways, and I have to make a conscious effort not to sprint the entire way. Like my mom said, I can't just think about myself anymore. But thinking about the baby just leads to thoughts of Gale, and that is definitely something I don't need right now.

I walk up the steps to the old porch and in spite of everything that's gone on today, I smile. I look to my right and see the chairs Gale and I would sit in after supper, discussing all the hunting we needed to do. Or the porch steps where Gale kissed my cheek the day before he left for the PRA. Even the window where Gale would watch for me and Prim whenever we were due over for dinner. So many memories made in this house-it's almost overwhelming.

I cross the porch and just open the door instead of knocking. It's not a very uncommon thing, since I had to let myself in to wake Gale up on more than one occasion. I look around the living room and I don't see anyone, but I'm still very cautious. I honestly wish I had my bow with me or one of Gale's throwing knives, just so I could protect myself if the wrong people were here.

Gale certainly hasn't let me practice with weapons much since I found out I was pregnant.

I shake my head and walk down the familiar hall to the bedrooms. Since our families moved into the Victor's Village, neither one of our Seam houses have seen much use-save for the random nights Gale and I have spent together. Vick and Rory's bedroom is empty and surprisingly clean-they never had much use for a clean room when they lived here. I chuckle and pick up a random book lying on the floor with a title I don't recognize. Vick is an avid reader, so it's probably just one he forgot.

Hazelle's room is also clean and empty, the dust settling on the shelves and table by the bed. I wonder how long it's been since she's stayed here, but I don't wonder for long, because I can hear someone softly crying from the room Gale and Posy shared. I gently open the door to see Hazelle on Gale's bed, surrounded by the few family photos they have.

Her head snaps up at the sudden intrusion, and my face turns red from interrupting her. But she just smiles and hands me the first family photo the Hawthornes ever had. "It was taken right after Gale was born," Hazelle shows me. It's custom for the Capitol to pay for a family picture each time a baby is born in the districts, so parents can have a photo memory. She sniffles, "He's grown up to be quite the young man."

I nod, "You did a good job with him."

She hands me the next photo, this one with Hazelle, her husband, a baby Rory and a six-year-old Gale. "Aww," I coo. "Rory was such a pretty baby."

"Yes he was," she nods. "Gale was so excited to have a baby in the house that he couldn't contain himself. He'd beg me to feed Rory or to change his diapers or to rock him to sleep-anything to put him near the baby."

"He's certainly excited over ours," I admit, gently rubbing my slightly protruding tummy.

Hazelle nods, handing me the family pictures with Vick and with Posy. "When Radant died, it was almost as if Gale knew exactly what to do. He'd almost mirrored what his father used to do with the younger children every day, and it was no question of him providing for us. He took on the responsibility without me even asking. It was as if one day I woke up and he was already back from the woods with animals for me to cook."

I just nod, listening to her memories of a younger Gale.

"I remember the day he met you," she smiles. "He came home from the woods that morning and he was just _so_ excited for some reason. I couldn't figure out why-he didn't have any more meat than usual, no crazy trades. But he was humming and smiling and finally carefree. It was like he was finally a child again. And then he asked me, 'Mom, can Katniss Everdeen and her sister eat with us tonight? She'll bring more meat to cook.'"

Hazelle just laughs again, "He thought I wouldn't say yes unless you brought food over. I could tell right away, even if the two of you didn't know it yet, but he loved you."

I feel bad for having to break the happiness of her memories, but she needs to know. "Something has happened."

Hazelle cocks an eyebrow at me, "What is it, dear?"

I look at my shoes, suddenly uncomfortable. "I went to trade Cray a turkey by myself today. I didn't realize Cray had been relieved, and the new guy wanted to whip me for it."

"And Gale took your place," Hazelle says with no emotion.

I nod.

"I knew he would do that eventually. I knew one day one of you would get caught and the other wouldn't be able to stand to see hurt." She pauses for a moment and wipes the tears from her eyes, "Where is he?"

"My house. We don't know where Rory, Vick, or Posy are."

She nods again, "Rory went to the Hob, and Vick and Posy are outside playing."

We quickly put on our jackets, grab the kids, and head back for my house.

* * *

"Everyone is asleep," I tell Katniss's mother.

She nods and collapses on her bed, "Thank goodness."

I feel sorry for the poor woman, because she's been working nonstop for the last 24 hours to try to fix Gale. The bags under her eyes are heavy, but she looks content, as if she's completed her purpose. I nod to her, "I'll go check on him before I go home. Thanks for everything you've done for him."

She just smiles and collapses next to the little girl. I turn off the lights and shut the door behind me, making my way down the stairs. I wonder what kind of spin the Capitol is going to put on this once they see Gale's scars, or if they're going to react to it at all. The President will probably say something smart assed to Gale to try to provoke him. And if Gale's not careful, he'll be executed.

I cross into the hallway and see a soft light on in the kitchen, which is weird, considering I left the bigger light on when I left the room earlier. I stop short of the door and hear Katniss's voice, "...my sister suggested if it's a girl we name her after your grandmother, it was so old fashioned. What was her name?"

"Olivia? If that's what you want," Gale answers huskily. He chuckles, "I like your father's name for a boy, Aidan."

Katniss giggles, "Olivia or Aiden? I like them. I wonder what little Hawthorne will be like. Think the baby will take after me?"

Gale snorts, "Of course not. And even if he or she does, we can train the baby to act like me in no time." Katniss giggles again, and I can hear Gale's soft laughter too, "Only a few more months and our beautiful baby will be here."

"_If_ I can make it out of the Quell," Katniss sighs. "Even if I do, you won't be here."

I can hear Gale start to get up, but Katniss urges him to lay back down. "I'm getting you home, Catnip. And you'll raise our baby. That's all there is to it."

"I love you, Gale Hawthorne," Katniss sighs again.

He chuckles, "I know, Catnip."

I decide not to intercede on the happy couple any longer and head out the back door to my own house. I was wondering if these two were right for the job and now I'm sure of it. They're already so attached to their baby, and Gale is ready to die for the little thing. This plan I'm putting together is almost complete, now I just need for the right people to hear it. I walk through my house and drop my jacket, picking up the un-bugged telephone, dialing a number I didn't think I'd ever need.

The voice on the other end picks up, "What's the word?" His voice is masculine, troubled, worried. "We heard there was some commotion today."

"There was," I reply. "But don't worry about that now. Get in with the right contacts. We're putting the plan in motion. Get ahold of Odair, Mason, any others you find useful, Heavensbee especially. Talk only in person-no more phone calls. This has to be set up perfectly."

"I understand," Cinna replies.

I hang up the phone and pop open a bottle of liquor, because my work for now is complete.


	26. Damage

My entire body is stiff with the kind of soreness that just won't go away.

I'm finally up and walking (I say finally because it literally feels like it's been an eternity), but my back feels like I'm ripping it open every time I move.

Not that I tell anyone that though.

Katniss is already worried sick because I'm not as fit as I was pre-whipping, and there's only two months left until the Quell. Two months for me to recover, train, and get in top shape so I can protect my little family. It's not really enough.

The gashes in my back have finally scabbed over, but I'm almost too terrified of the new Head Peacekeeper (who I've been told is Thread) to even think of going back into the woods. The thought of being whipped _again_ and having to rehabilitate myself _and_ get trained for the Quell isn't something I'd really like to experience. So for the most part, Katniss and I have been using our money more than usual: buying what we need at the Hob and giving most of the coins to Seam families.

It's not much, but I still feel like I'm making a difference.

Going out into the District is helping fuel my cause as well. People who've known Katniss and me all of our lives are tipping their hats to us, and people we don't know in the District are coming up to us to shake our hands and tell us how inspiring we are. I'm not exactly sure what it is that we're inspiring, but Katniss likes to think that the hope for a better tomorrow is a good legacy for me to leave behind.

Which Haymitch says is a bad thing.

With our time dwindling, we start to spend every spare moment we can together. Within a week, my back is almost healed up enough to start to run and lift weights, and within two weeks I'm almost back to my physical condition that I was before the whipping. Katniss just usually watches Haymitch train me, occasionally picking up a bow and shooting some targets with it.

"What do you think you're doing?" Haymitch quizzes her.

"Gale won't be there with me the whole time," she snaps. "What if something happens and he dies the first day? Am i supposed to be _completely_ helpless?"

Haymitch just shakes his head, "I guess you're right. You realize you're going to get even bigger in the next six weeks, right?"

Within seconds, Katniss's eyes start to fill with tears. Weight's become a big issue with her in the last few weeks-one that I try to avoid if at all possible. "I'm just saying it's going to be harder to shoot a bow," he retorts before leaning back against a tree, almost mocking her.

And just like that, Katniss snaps. She quickly loads her bow and fires the arrow into the tip of Haymitch's hat, pinning it to the tree behind him, right off his head.

"I can still shoot," she states.

"Oh, I had no doubt that you could," Haymitch laughs, taking another sip of his liquor. "I just wanted to see how much you'd take before you'd start shooting."

Haymitch has been acting strange lately—even stranger than normal. While he's stopped drinking as much, he's been on both of our asses, pushing us farther and farther just to see how far we'll go before we snap. I'm banking on it having to do with mentally preparing us, but we have an advantage by being recent Victors: we don't know any of the other Victors.

"Effie said they were going to announce your sentencing today," Haymitch comments as I bench press.

"I thought they already decided?" Katniss says.

Haymitch laughs, "They did. They just wanted to go through the act of a trial."

I put the weight back on the rack and sit up, feeling the buzz of excersize buzzing through my veins. "So what am I supposed to do if they don't rule me from 12?"

"Oh, they'll rule you from 12," Haymitch takes another sip.

"How do _you_ know?" Katniss snaps again.

"Well, sweetheart, the only two male Victors to ever come from district 12 are standing in front of you. District 2 has at least 25 Victors—a much smaller chance of Gale getting reaped. If they put his name in 12's bowl, they know he'll be in the Quell no matter what."

"And they're going to play up the star-crossed lovers thing," I say.

"Exactly. Boy, you aren't as dumb as you look."

I roll my eyes and pick the weight bar back up. I love the feel of my body building muscle, maintaining strength, making myself better. It's a true high, and it probably feels better than anything Haymitch finds in that bottle. I finish the set and put the bar back, smiling that I've made it through another hard workout. We just have the announcement by the Capitol court tonight, our trip to the Capitol tomorrow, and then another month until the Reaping.

Time is flying by.

And there's nothing I can do to stop it.

Like every other day, I follow Katniss into her house so I can take my shower. Since she doesn't do the workouts with me, she just takes her shower at another time. I call through the house for Prim, but I don't get an answer.

"They're gone today," Katniss simply says.

"Gone? Where to?"

She smiles, "Not really sure. Hurry and take your shower, I have a surprise for you, and we have to be back before the announcement."

A surprise? That's very un-Katniss like. Even more strange that she wants to go out in the woods, since it's only been two weeks since my whipping. But I do as I'm told and burn through a quick shower before dressing in some of the clothes I've left in her closet. Within 15 minutes, I'm pulling on my boots and heading down the stairs.

Katniss has a basket in one hand and the other over her tummy. I smile and bend down to kiss the slight bump before kissing her face. I don't know how many more opportunities I have to kiss her, so I try to make the most of every single one.

She smiles and walks outside, heading in the direction of the Seam. I casually walk beside her, taking the heavy basket from her and holding her hand. She hums a happy skipping tune as she walks, and it makes me smile that much more.

By the time we reach the fence at the edge of the Meadow, my smile is stretched from ear-to-ear and so is Katniss's. We listen for the hum of the fence and, finding none, slip through it until we've reached our rock.

Katniss stops and sits down on the rock, but she makes no move for the basket, so I sit it down and sit next to her.

"Do you remember the day we met?" she softly asks.

"Of course I do."

She just stares into the depth of the forest, lost in that first day, I'm assuming. "When I went home, Prim knew."

I wait for an explanation, but when I don't get one I press her, "Knew what?"

She smiles, "That we were meant for each other."

"My mom knew it too," I chuckle. "Isn't it funny how everyone could know except for us?"

"I can remember sitting here the day you left," she sighs. "I sat out here all day, watching the shadows play across the woods, the animals scurrying home to their families." she trails off.

"Why would you sit out here all day?"

She laughs, "Because I didn't know how to hunt without you. I didn't know how to function without you." she pulls out the locket I sent her before that Reaping. "I looked at our picture every single day."

I reach up to her neck to look at the picture. Just like the day I sent it, the picture is still in black and white, still of the two of us laughing at each other. She looks so different, but so much the same. She's still beautiful, but the pressures of pregnancy and the stress of my whipping have aged her. She's seventeen years old and she's had more pressure on her than most adults I know.

"Do you know what today is?" Katniss whispers.

I shake my head.

"It's your birthday, Gale."

I sit back on the rock and think, counting the days in my head... Well, hell's fire. It _is_ my birthday after all. I'm honestly surprised she remembered. "Happy birthday to me," I sing softly.

"You still have your surprise waiting," she giggles. "Pick up the basket and follow me."

I don't have to be asked twice.

We walk the old snare line down by the stream, following it until we reach the lake house. I set the basket down, thinking Katniss will stop, but she keeps going. It dawns on me that we're headed to the valley we always visit on Reaping day. By the time we reach it, her face is glowing and her smile is infectious. She takes the basket from me and spreads out a quilt on the grasses. She hums as she straightens the edges, and I can hear mockingjays in the distance relaying the pleasant tune back to her.

"Are you ready?" she grins.

I nod and close my eyes and hold out my hands. She places something heavy in the center, laying something feather light on top. I open my eyes and see a mockingjay necklace, just like the pin Katniss wore during her Games and a piece of paper.

She takes the necklace from me and clicks the side of it, opening the same picture of us that I gave her a year ago. "I got the picture from Darius. I wanted to be with you all the time, just like you're with me." She chuckles, "Plus Cinna wanted you to have a token that matched mine."

I smile and kiss her gently on the lips. "Thank you, baby," I say.

"Oh!" She exclaims. "That reminds me..." She hands me the piece of paper. "I thought since we were going to be in the Capitol, we should go see a doctor. Effie told me they can even tell us if our baby is a boy or a girl!"

"Is that what you want to do?" I ask.

She nods, "Since there's only a month to the Reaping, Effie and Cinna suggested we announce our pregnancy. We were going to have to do it anyway."

She gets animated as she speaks, causing me to chuckle, "What does Haymitch think?"

"I'm not sure," she shrugs. "I figured we'd speak to him about it on the train."

"What do you think they'll say?"

She shrugs, "Cinna said they would expect an engagement."

"Well, I can afford a ring for you now," I state. The thought of not being about to get her a ring was one that seriously deflated me whenever I _used_ to think about our future. Being a Victor, I could buy the most expensive ring in the Capitol and still have money left over.

"You know that doesn't matter to me, Gale," she says sternly. She turns to the basket and unpacks our picnic, as if her word is the last on the matter. I roll over from the blanket and pinch her on the butt, she squeals, "What was that for!?"

I shrug, "For being dumb, Catnip."

_What do you mean_? she asks without words.

"A ring was something that mattered to me, even before we both got rich. Now? It matters alot. it's something that shows everyone that you're _mine_, forever."

She nods, "Fine, Gale." She unpacks the sandwich meat and bread, "Can we stop talking about things that actually matter? I brought you out here so we could have a mini-vacation before things got hectic."

I grin, "Whatever you say, Catnip."

* * *

The television drones in the background of the happy house. The smiles are a little forced, but I know my family is happy to be together. We don't know how much time we'll have left together, so we have to make every spare moment count.

Since it's our last night before we leave for the Capitol, our mothers have cooked a huge meal for us. Prim and Rory sit hand in hand on the large couch, Vick sits in the recliner with Buttercup, and Posy plays with her dolls in the floor.

"Why are you going to the Capitol again?" Prim asks me.

I shrug, "Something about the President wants an 'official' meeting with the newest Victors-I think it's something every Victor does."

"That's not something I've ever heard of," Prim doubts.

"Since we haven't been Victors before, I doubt it would be something we've heard of," I snap. This pregnancy thing is killing me.

Hazelle pokes her head out of the kitchen, "Dinner is ready!" and five sets of feet scurry for the kitchen. Being pregnant, most food makes me want to vomit, so I just take my time heading for the kitchen.

The TV is turned low, so I barely hear Caesar's voice say the words. "And you know, I heard from a little birdy that Katniss Everdeen is _pregnant_," he says as if he's heard the hottest gossip. And judging by what Cinna's told me, anything concerning Gale and I _is_ the hottest gossip.

"_Gale_!" I scream.

He comes running into the living room, panicking because my scream sounded like so much pain. Caesar repeats the words, "A source has told me personally that Katniss Everdeen has recently become pregnant!" I look at Gale, who's mouth is still hanging open.

"I thought that doctor wasn't supposed to fucking tell anyone!"

But Caesar goes on, whispering now, "And from what I hear, it is not the baby of Gale Hawthorne." He smiles and picks his voice back up, "Hawthorne's Reaping announcement coming up soon! Stay tuned after the announcement for the hottest gossip on Everthorne!"

Because of my scream, the entire family is back in the living room, all of us staring with our mouths open at the TV. So not only does the country know that I'm pregnant, they all think that I've slept with someone else.

Perfect.

Only one person could've started this.

"Snow," Gale and I spit at the same time. But before anyone moves from the living room, Caesar comes back on the TV, announcing that Gale will be reaped from 12, just as Haymitch predicted.

We stand there for a few more minutes, no one moving until we hear the knock at the door, then everyone goes into hyper-mode. I instantly move to the couch with Gale, and the rest of the children take the places they had before dinner, with my mother going to answer the door. Luckily it's just Haymitch, looking half drunk and worried.

"You two, upstairs. We have damage control."


	27. Plan

Hey! I know you guys all probably hate me for not updating and i'm so sorry. Here's all I have time for right now, but I will have a longer chapter very very soon! love you guys!

* * *

All my life I've always been afraid of my baby sister starving in front of me. I'd been afraid of my mother never speaking again. I used to be terrified when thinking of Gale going into the mines and dying down there.

After I was reaped, my biggest fear was who would provide for Prim if I died and who would console Gale. When I realized he was going in the Games with me, my biggest fear was watching him die in front of me and not be able to stop it, or having to live the rest of my life without him.

Since I've become pregnant, my fears have changed. All the fears I've had in my life up to this point are nothing in comparison to the fear of losing my baby and Gale. It was as if my heart had swelled to the point of bursting through my chest, and all the extra room was filled with the love for Gale and for our child.

Accusing me of cheating was exactly what Haymitch had called it-damage. Snow was trying to create doubt in the hearts of the Capitol citizens so they wouldn't support me or Gale. With all the shortages and uprisings i had heard whispers of, it didn't surprise me that Snow was trying to crush the only two people who had stood up to him.

I didn't really know what we were going to do to fix this crisis, but Haymitch and Effie had assured me that it was all under control and that I shouldn't worry. Whether that was due to my condition or because I actually didn't need to worry about it, i didn't know. They're probably just protecting me again, but i can't say that I blame them. I'm seventeen years old and pregnant-I'd want to protect me too.

"So what are the options?" Gale asks. The three of us sit around a telephone, with Cinna and Effie on speakerphone in the Capitol. I'm not sure why Haymitch decided to call them, but it's been soothing to hear Cinna's voice.

Haymitch shakes his head, "I can only think of a couple options: a public proposal, an interview where you quell the rumors and announce your marriage/pregnancy, or you ignore the rumors all together."

"But only one of those will really give you a chance to defend yourselves _and_ get sponsors," Cinna says.

I just shake my head and hold Gale's hand-I'm not really good for much else in this meeting.

Gale sighs, "So we do the interview-then what? When, what, where, how?"

I can hear Cinna laughing through the phone, "I'll call Caesar and set it up. You two are big news here, so even if they give it live somewhere in the city, people will come."

Effie giggles next to him, "And I'll help you two with the preparations! It'll be just like the Games all over again."

And that's all it takes.

"Do you think this is some kind of _game_, Effie?" I spit. "We're not just talking about mine and Gale's lives anymore. We have a _child_, and we're going to do whatever it takes to protect our baby. Do you understand?" By the time I finish, I'm screaming at her.

Gale puts a hand on my shoulder, "It's okay, Catnip." He pauses, gauging my reaction. "Well, we're going to the Capitol tomorrow anyway. Cinna, set up the interview. Effie, find time that you can tutor us. Haymitch, you have to act as if nothing is wrong once we're in the Capitol. Got it?"

And just like that, Gale has a plan and has saved the day. He says goodbye to Cinna and Effie and ushers Haymitch out of the room, leaving just the two of us. He kisses my cheek, pulling my shirt over my head and getting me dressed for bed. His fingers work, pulling off my shoes and pants, but it's not in an intimate way, he does it as if he is a parent getting a child ready for bed. He smiles and talks to me, but I'm so zoned out that I don't catch what he's saying. I just sit and admire his smile.

How can something so beautiful as Gale Hawthorne come from a place like District twelve? How can such a godforsaken place produce someone who surely came from Heaven? I ponder this, realizing that it's not just Gale's look that give him an angelic quality. For years, everyone in the district thought that Gale looked like an angel, but I knew better. My best friend, taking care of me now, just like he's taken care of me always, is truly an angel because of his personality.

And as he puts his teeshirt on me and kisses my nose before tucking me in, I realize that I really do have a guardian angel, and regardless of who will win the Quell, Gale Hawthorne will always be watching over me.


	28. On Our Side

Finally finally finally. I know you guys probably hate me, but I'm doing all I can! I promise! :)

* * *

"I look like a pumpkin."

I try to turn different angles in the mirror, but I can't get a different result. Cinna wanted to play with the "Girl on Fire" theme a little bit more, so I was wearing a one-shouldered, flowing, floor-length, fire-orange gown. Every movement rippled the dress like flames down my body, but I still only saw a fat, pregnant, Katniss.

I turn to the bed, modeling for Haymitch and Effie and hoping they don't come to the same conclusion I have.

"Now, Katniss, I won't be hearing any more of that negative talk," Effie says. "You only have fifteen minutes until the interview, so I suggest you start practicing your big, big, big smile!"

Right. Fifteen minutes until I have to go on a live camera in front of all of Panem. I have to admit that I've been seeing Gale, that we're engaged, and most importantly, pregnant. Every person I know (and several million that I don't know) will be watching the interview, judging, gossiping, smiling, crying, and plotting to kill me. If this interview doesn't go well, Gale and I will be the first to die in the Quell.

Absolutely no pressure.

Instead of smiling like Effie asked, I begin to cry. Very loudly.

Effie rolls her eyes and leaves the room-to get Gale, I assume-muttering something about hormones. Haymitch retrieves a whisky flask from his jacket and tips it back, looking anxiously towards the door while I keep crying. While Haymitch is a supreme planner and fighter, comforter he is not. So we awkwardly sit on the bed, him fidgeting and me crying.

The door opens and Gale is the first to enter, coming straight to the bed to wrap me in his arms. "What's wrong, Catnip?"

"I'm so scared, Gale. This could go all wrong and it could be my fault and something could happen to us and-"

He pulls back and lifts my face towards his, cutting me off. "Do you honestly think I would let something happen to you? That I'd let you go through with this if I didn't think it would work?" He asks.

I shake my head, because he wouldn't. "That's right," he soothes. "We'd run, Katniss. If i didn't think this would save us, we would disappear into the woods right now. But it _will_ work, I'm sure of it."

He hugs me tight and releases me, and I open my eyes to Cinna standing in front of me with a large briefcase. "Now I know this isn't a step that you two are really ready for yet, but you're going to have to go along with it and trust me," Cinna says. He opens the briefcase to reveal at least twenty engagement rings, all adorned with some element of fire or a mockingjay. "I had all of these designed specifically for you, but Gale wanted you to choose which one you wore tonight."

I look at Gale and he nods, "It's just a show, Catnip."

"Another lie," I comment. Gale's gaze drops from mine and he nods.

Cinna points to one of the rings. It's silver, with a smaller baby blue mockingjay colored diamond and looks like it was made to go with my pendant and Gale's necklace. It's one of the most modest in the briefcase, and one of the prettiest to me. "This is Gale and Haymitch's favorite. It's simple, but it keeps the mockingjay theme," he explains. He points to another, it's much larger but adorned with fire around the stone, and the light catching it makes it appear like flames. "This was Effie's favorite."

"Which one is your favorite?" I ask.

He smiles and winks, "My favorite isn't here, but you'll see it soon enough. Which one do you like?"

I point to the mockingjay ring that Gale liked so much. Cinna nods, "Okay, now you two have another important decision to make. You can either 'get engaged' on stage, or just show off the ring and say you did it yourselves. It's up to you, Katniss."

"Up to me?" I question.

Gale nods, "I wanted to let you make a decision for once. We can make up a big story of how we were engaged if you want."

"That sounds fine. It also sounds more personal," I reply. "Are we going to wing it?"

Haymitch laughs, "Why the hell not? You two might as well have fun while you can. Make up some ridiculous story."

Gale smiles and picks up the ring I pointed to, "This isn't the way I wanted to put a ring on your finger, but it will do for now I guess." He slips the ring on my finger quietly and kisses my hand. Without anything further, no fanfare, no exclamations, whether I wanted to be or not, I am engaged.

Effie walks back into the room with a clipboard in her hand, "Let's go you two! All of Panem is waiting!"

Gale grabs my hand and leads me down a hallway behind Effie. Her heels make a pleasant clicking sound on the floor and I try to calm my heartbeat down to match the clicks. It works after a few minutes, but about the time I calm myself down enough to breathe, she stops. I can hear the familiar music that introduces Caesar Flickerman. It's just like last year at the interviews, except this time Gale won't be in the audience to guide me through the interview.

He holds my hand tighter and leans down to whisper to me, "I love you. No matter what happens, I'll keep you safe."

I hear Caesar say, "And please welcome to the stage, the couple of the year, Gale Hawthorne and Katniss Everdeen!" We walk out on the stage, smiling and waving to the crowd of thousands. They scream, they cry, they shout our name. We walk to the loveseat that sits beside Caesar and sit down. It's hard for me to not put my hand on my stomach, but I don't want the crowd to see just how big I am; they'll know soon enough. Caesar quiets down the crowd and turns to the two of us.

"So Gale and Katniss, we've been hearing some interesting rumors throughout the Capitol since you guys were last here!"

I giggle and turn to kiss Gale on the cheek, "Some interesting things have happened, Caesar!"

"Do tell!" Caesar exclaims, and the rest of the audience starts screaming with him.

Gale knows this interview isn't going to last very long and we have alot of important things we need to say. He puts his arm around me and kisses the side of my head, "Well the first thing happened right after we returned from the Games. We got off the train and we went straight to the meadow outside the Seam. I had purchased the ring from the Capitol before we left, and I proposed to her as soon as we felt the grass between our toes."

The female portion of the audience sighs and I catch a few wiping tears from their eyes.

"So Katniss," Caesar begins, "how did he propose?"

I smile and turn to look Gale in the eyes. "Well first he said to me, 'You know I love you more than my own life, don't you?' and I nodded. Then he said, 'Katniss Everdeen, i proved to you that I would die for you, but I also meant I would live for you too. The Games proved that I can't imagine my life without you, and I never want to be apart from you for as long as I live. I love you, Katniss. Will you marry me?'"

It's not like me to be mushy, especially when I have to make up the words myself, but I look in Gale's eyes, trying to convey to him that the words are all from _me_, describing that it's _me_ who can't live without _him_. He nods and smiles, kissing me deeply in front of everyone.

And as soon as his lips touch mine, everything disappears. It doesn't matter that the reaping is in a few days, it doesn't matter that I'm pregnant with his child at seventeen, it doesn't matter that the entire nation is watching. All that matters is that he's here, he's mine, and I love him.

But too soon, Caesar clears his throat to get our attention. "We have also heard some _other_ rumors about the star crossed lovers of District 12..." he trails off.

Once again I have to stop myself from putting my hand on my stomach, but I smile up at Gale and see that he's smiling too. "What have you heard?" He toys, making the audience practically beg for the information.

I smile wide to the audience, but every pair of eyes in the auditorium except two are trained on Gale. The girls are all on the edge of their seat, waiting for him to say something else that will make them fall in love with him even more. I look back into Gale's eyes and he nods, _Go on, Catnip_. So I put my hands on my stomach and Gale repeats the action, smiling as wide as he did the first day I told him.

"We're going to have a baby," I say.

* * *

My eyes open to a dark room with moonlight streaming through the window, I look to my left and see it's 5 am on the clock, which means I slept late. She's sleeping peacefully beside me, and she won't believe me when I tell her later, but she's snoring. I want to wake her up and kiss her and share the morning with her, but she's been getting so little rest lately that I just let her sleep. I gently roll over and take the covers off me, trying my best to stay quiet. I tiptoe to the door and listen for her snores that mean she's still asleep.

The Everdeen house is peaceful today, which is surprising given what day it is. Every year Katniss and I would wake up to the screams of our parents and siblings as they cried for our safety-and last year as we all cried for Prim's. I'm a little thankful this year that it's me and not Rory or Prim, but I'd give anything for it to not be Katniss. I reach for a towel in the bathroom and start running the hot water of the shower. I'm surprisingly calm even though it's Reaping Day, but I know that Katniss will be a mess when she wakes up and I need to be present to calm her down. There's been so much going on lately that I haven't had time to really think about something special for her.

After the interview, phones in the Capitol and at our homes in 12 started to ring off the hooks. People were calling us from all over, congratulating us, sending us what money they had, wondering what we were going to name the baby, and what the baby's gender would be. Even two weeks later, the phones haven't stopped ringing. Cinna and Effie were excited, saying everyone in the Capitol was so happy for us and that the sponsors were talking like their donations would be heavy. Haymitch... well, it caused him to start drinking whenever he wasn't training me, but I couldn't blame him. Potentially sending a pregnant woman and her baby to the death wasn't something that was easy on my mind either.

The hot water is relaxing on my skin, so I try to close my eyes and let all the pressures today will bring slip from my mind. I look down at my body and see all my hard work of the past year reflected in it: my muscles are taunt, my skin is a dark brown, and my veins are visible in my arms. But when I look down again, I notice a pair of white hands across my stomach, and I feel her stomach press into my back.

"Good morning, baby," Katniss whispers, voice still thick with sleep.

I laugh and turn to face her in the water, "Good morning." Katniss would never believe me, but she's so damn beautiful as a pregnant woman. She thinks she's fat and she says so all the time, but I can't help but stare at her in awe in the shower this morning. She giggles and starts to wash her hair and her body-the only two things our stylists will let us do today. Cinna promised they would arrive at noon to dress us and style us for the Reaping at 2 pm. We finish quickly and dry off, putting on our hunting clothes and heading straight into the woods.

It's a tradition to come to this spot every year with last year being the only exception. Has it really only been a year since I heard my name called in district 2? Only a year since we both won the Games, and even less time since we got pregnant. I know the last year isn't something Katniss likes to think about, and the near future isn't either, so I plan on talking to her about the distant future and all the things we will do when we get home.

Except I know that one of us won't come home.

I hold open the door for her, surprised to find a very angry and semi-drunk Haymitch sitting on the front stoop, bottle in hand. Katniss snorts and reaches to take the bottle from him, "It's 6 am, Haymitch. It's not even light outside yet."

He swings the bottle back from her, "I've never hit a woman, especially not no pregnant woman, but don't test me!" It's a joke, and I know that, but his sharp tone makes the tears well up in Katniss's eyes. Her emotions are ridiculous.

"Why are you sitting on the front steps?" I ask, before it goes any farther. "We have places to be."

He grunts, "Not today you don't, boy."

"I'm sorry?" Katniss questions. She knows the tradition is what keeps us safe, and it's her belief that we only got picked last year because we weren't in the woods together.

"The Peacekeepers are all along the fence, and they'll haul you both in for even looking at it too long. You're staying here until Cinna arrives, end of discussion." He takes another swig of the bottle, "And I'm prepared to wait out here as long as I have to."

Katniss throws her hands up and storms back inside, but I stay on the porch with Haymitch, fuming. "You're really going to deny us one last time in the woods together?"

He shakes his head, "Don't put it on me. She's five months pregnant, and every damn person in the government is looking to put both your heads on a platter. Getting arrested now would put the whole country in upheavel."

"Haymitch," I say low and sharp. "This may be our _last_ chance, don't deny me that with her."

He rolls his eyes and takes another drink, "What's so damn important about it, anyway?"

"Because I want to say goodbye without someone else hearing it," I snap. "That's my girl and my baby, I deserve at least a few minutes truly alone with them!"

He chugs the rest of the bottle and throws it down the steps, shattering the glass. He shakes his head and stands, pointing to the door, "Cinna isn't going to be happy, but she'll have to keep her damn mouth shut. Go get her."


	29. Love at First Touch

don't forget to check out my oneshot, _what she didn't know_. It's something i've been playing around in my head since i finished mockingjay and i'd like to see some clarification on, lol. enjoy the chapter and don't forget to review with some suggestions!

* * *

Where are those damn kids? I give them a morning away and they completely disappear way past when they're supposed to be back.

Typical.

I feel bad because I know that Gale is going to do everything he can to get her home, he made up his mind as soon as the Quell was announced, asking me to do everything I could to protect her. It's a little surreal that I'm going to be working with tributes I already know as opposed to two kids that I try to avoid during the Games.

I take another swig of liquor and look at my watch. It's about time for the festivities to begin, so I start to head towards the square, pulling out a phone as I go. Cinna insisted on using these damn private lines for anything we don't want overheard, and I'm kind of thankful in a way. I click through the contacts and find Odair's number and press send.

"Finnick Odair speaking."

Good, he still remembers the code we're supposed to use. Mockingjay code requires some form of identification if you are in a risky spot where the conversation might be overheard. Since Finnick used his name in his hello, I assume that there are people around.

"We're rolling," I reply. "Do you remember what you have to do?"

"Yes sir," he says on the other end of the line. "Smile, stand straight, hope my name isn't picked." I hear someone say something and laugh on the other end of the phone, and then hear Finnick say "it's just my agent" in a muffled tone. "I'll be there on time, I promise."

"As long as you remember the plan, Odair. Don't forget to call your counterparts from three and seven." And then I briskly hang up the phone. Now as long as the whole day goes exactly as it's supposed to, I would have to kill anyone or start drinking. Knowing I will be on a train headed back to the Capitol in just a few hours is enough to make me want to drink, but I push the thought aside and head to the Justice Building where I'm supposed to report as a mentor.

The pretty blonde receptionist smiles as I walk through the door and motions for me to sign in on the District 12 Mentor's Sheet. I'm the only person to ever sign it in 24 years, but they still require me to sign in. Then she giggles and swipes the clipboard from me. "Not this year, Mr. Abernathy," she sweetly grins. "You're qualified as a tribute this year."

Oh, right. Technically any Victor could be chosen as a tribute this year. "Do you honestly think that boy is going to let me go into the Games with Miss Everdeen?" I ask her.

The blonde smiles, "I know, Mr. Abernathy, but rules are rules, sir. You'll have to go into the roped off section for tributes. As soon as the reaping is over, you may come back here to sign in while the tributes get their hour-long goodbye."

I say my thanks and walk back out the door. As the people begin filing in from around the district, I wonder how some of the Career districts with bigger Victor pools are handling their mentoring jobs this year. Are they seeing who is picked and then drawing straws? or do they already have an idea of who's getting reaped like Gale, Katniss, and I do? Either way, it's going to be tough competition in that mentoring room this year, and it's going to be hard to make this plan work, but i'm determined.

The square starts to fill, and I'm rudely ushered into my roped off spot where the potential tributes usually stand. I look up to the stage, and I see the chair that I normally fill during Reapings. It's unusual to be down here again, and it takes me back to the _last_ Quarter Quell that reaped me. And just before I can get into all the shitty things that happened to be as a child, I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn to see Gale Hawthorne standing next to me, face red and smiling across the way to a blushing Katniss. _  
_

"Where the hell were you, boy?"

Gale's smile fades, "I had some things that I needed to take care of."

I want to ask him what the hell he means, but Effie steps up to the microphone and introduces herself, so I decide to let the comment go without question.

"...Welcome to Panem's Third Quarter Quell Reaping!" Effie says to the crowd, smiling more obnoxiously than normal. I look around at the crowd outside the roped off area. For once, instead of seeing panicked mothers and terrified children, I see happy faces, comforting arms, and smiles. For just this year, the people of District 12 aren't afraid for the lives of their children, they have one more year safe. And for the eighteen year olds, they are out of the reapings for good.

But if this plan goes the way it's supposed to, there won't be anymore reapings, ever.

"And to remind the districts that even the strongest among them cannot rebel, the tributes this year will be reaped from the existing pool of Victors," Effie finishes. "Without further ado, ladies first." Her heels click to the right end of the stage, where a large bowl waits with several hundred slips that all have the same name on them. Before she even calls her name, Katniss strides to the stage with her head held high, knowing it's all going to be broadcasted to the country. But as she faces the crowd, she puts both hands on her protruding stomach, as if to remind the cameras, the crowd, and President Snow himself, that they are sending a pregnant woman and her child to their death.

Not one, single person claps. No one moves until the hand beside me goes into the air.

Gale Hawthorne presses three fingers to his lips and holds them up for Katniss, and the entire district follows. Before I know it, Effie, the Mayor, and I are the only three people who don't have our hands raised for the brave young mother in front of us. Effie hestitantly laughs and walks over to the bowl full of slips with my name and Gale's, selecting one off the top.

She calls my name, but no one is surprised that Gale volunteers for me, striding tall to the stage and directly to where Katniss stands holding her stomach. He puts his hands to her neck and kisses her more passionately than I've ever seen two people kiss. The crowds explode, and I turn to see Prim Everdeen, her mother, and the whole Hawthorne family cheering the loudest of anyone in the district. It's perfect, brilliant, and I hope they show the whole damn thing on television tonight.

* * *

The guard pushes me onto the train, almost pushing me down onto the platform, which does nothing more than piss Gale off.

"You've already cost us our goodbyes to our families, now you have to be physically rude as hell to a pregnant woman? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He shouts.

"New protocol for tributes," the Peacekeeper answers. "And I did not think I used excessive force, sir."

Gale almost turns a shade of red, "_Any_ force is excessive, asshole." He kindly grabs my arm and helps me onto the train, mumbling something about filing a formal complaint with the jerk. "You'd think since I was in the PRA they'd be a little nicer to me," Gale grumbles.

"Let's just drop it," I suggest. "They won't let us do anything about it, so there's no point in fighting it." He starts to say something else but he stops, probably because he knows that I'm right. I sit down on the couch and wait for Effie to flip on the TV so we can watch the televised reapings. Gale sits next to me, but he doesn't cuddle up next to me or anything, and I know exactly what he's doing.

He's scoping out his prey.

As they go through every district, Haymitch writes down the names in a notebook, and I can see he's adding his own notes out beside each of the names. I can tell he knows most of them or was present for their games, because he's writing down bits of information that the average person would miss. Gale mutters things next to me like, "He's left handed," or "She doesn't look like a runner," just silly little notes that he thinks will matter in hand-to-hand combat.

Districts one and two both look like fierce competitors, just like Career districts always do. Three is a wiry guy with glasses who looks more like a super nerd than a fighter, and his district partner is old and has to be helped to the stage. Four is Finnick Odair, and I only know that because I remember watching his Games ten years ago. The only other Victor I recognize is Johanna Mason, who won by pretending she was a weakling.

And then District 12 is shown. Inside, I know I felt scared as hell, but on the outside, I look as fearless as I did during my first reaping. My head is high, my jaw is set, and I can hear the announcers talking about how bloodthirsty I'm bound to be during this Hunger Games... and then I touch my stomach. It only lingers on the screen for a flicker of a second, but it's long enough that the audiences at home will be reminded that I am pregnant, even if my dress did a good job of hiding it.

Then Effie calls Haymitch's name, and Gale immediately volunteers. The announcers just go on about how the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12 just don't have any luck, and they end the broadcast with the still image of Gale passionately kissing me. The picture of the kiss makes me blush, because I don't think I've ever seen a video or a picture of us doing something so intimate, but I like it. I like letting the entire country know that Gale is mine, and I am his.

I look down at my hands in my lap, still bearing the mockingjay ring that Panem thinks Gale proposed with. I really thought he would propose when we were out in the woods today, but he just acted as if nothing was wrong, as if it were any other reaping day. Maybe he wanted the normalcy of our last day in the woods together, maybe he wanted to escape the reality of the world for just a few hours. I don't know, and it's one of the few times that I don't know what he was thinking, but I don't dwell on it long. Gale has his reasons, and I'm sure they'll make sense to me eventually.

I get up from the couch and announce that I'm heading to bed, and I look down at Gale, _do you want to join?_

He shakes his head, "I want to watch some video on some of these new tributes before I turn in. I'll take some notes and be with you soon, Catnip."

For some reason, the nickname makes me blush, but I say goodnight and head for my bedroom. I decide to wait for the morning to take a shower, because I want to smell the woods in my hair and on my skin. For some reason, I feel as if today was the last time in a long time that I'm going to get to enjoy the smells of the woods, so I just take off my reaping dress and put on a nightgown. I take my hair down from its braid and climb in between the soft sheets, letting the gentle rocking of the train put me out like a light.

When I open my eyes again, I can see the back of Gale, sitting on a blanket in a field of taller grasses. I call his name, but he doesn't answer me. Instead, I see a small baby girl stand up and kiss Gale's cheek. She can't be more than two years old, but when she sees me she goes crazy, "Mommy, Mommy!" she squeals. I hold out my arms for her to run to me, and she starts to take a step when Gale picks her up and turns to face me.

But it's not Gale.

The person before me has transformed to President Snow, and he takes my baby girl and smiles.

I start to scream, but I don't scream for long because I feel Gale's arms around my shoulders and his voice in my ear, hushing me and assuring me that everything will be okay. I feel hot tears on my cheeks and reach up to kiss him, touch him, anything to make sure that he's still here.

I kiss him deeply, moaning into his mouth and tangling my hands in his hair. He recognizes my actions, and I don't know if he feels the need to make love as badly as I do, or if he wants the reassurance that I'm really here too, but his actions begin to mirror mine. He kisses my neck, moaning into my ear, and my hands find his shirt tucked into his pants, pulling it out and tossing it on the floor while he takes off my nightgown. His mouth makes a trail from my lips, to my neck, down my chest and stopping at my pregnant stomach.

"You're so beautiful, Katniss," he breathes. "You're carrying my child and it only makes me love you more."

I smile in the darkness, "I love you, Gale."

I hear him chuckle and I can feel his lips press against my stomach again while he shucks off his pants. His mouth meets mine again and his hands grope my body, while mine press him closer to me. He makes love to me, almost as passionately as the kiss we shared earlier. He moans my name, whispers again and again how much he loves me, and I barely have it in me to do the same. My head and heart are swimming with emotions for him, for us, for our baby.

When we both come, we collapse on our sides, in each other's arms, breathing heavily. I can see his smile in the darkness and he rolls me on my back, making his way down to my stomach to kiss our child again. I can see a flicker of fear on his face, and I know he realizes that he will never see our baby born, that he or she will never see Gale's smile, but he pushes away the thought and smiles, cooing at my stomach.

He presses his hands and lips to my stomach and I feel the slightest nudge. "Gale, don't nudge me," I say. "It's uncomfortable."

His eyes grow wide, "What are you talking about Katniss?"

"You mean.. you didn't just... nudge me?"

He shakes his head, and then the biggest smile breaks on his face, "I thought you nudged me somehow, but that must have been.. Could it have been?" His smile gets bigger and bigger, and he presses his face to my stomach again, "Daddy loves you, little Hawthorne!"

He kisses my lips and goes to find his pants, screaming about having to tell Haymitch that he just felt our baby move. I smile and pull the covers back up to cover me, with one hand on my stomach, documenting this moment so that in the years to come, I can tell our son or daughter the first time they felt their father's touch.


	30. Dangerous

Okay guyssss, I need some ideas for the arena! Please inbox, review, comment, etc! :)

* * *

"You know what I was doing at this time last year?" she mumbles, voice thick with sleep.

I roll my eyes and then realize that while she's sleeping on my chest she can't see me. "What was that?" I answer.

"Trying to think of a way I could get you home."

I chuckle, "Funny how we were both thinking of the same thing."

She sits up on her elbows so she can look me in the eyes, "I was also thinking about your Reaping."

_What about it_?

"Were you thinking of me when you went to the stage?"

I nod, "I was trying to be brave and strong so you would see me at home and you'd know that I would be okay."

She smiles, "It's so selfish, but I was so glad to see you that night in my room. I had spent the whole night wishing that you weren't the one there with me, but I was so happy you were. I knew it was all going to work out."

I smile and open my mouth to say something, but Effie bursts into the room talking about what a "big, big, big day" we're going to have.

"Gale! Portia needed you downstairs in makeup a half hour ago! And Katniss! Cinna needed you _two_ hours ago! Get up!" her voice gets shriller with every word and it makes me want to punt a kitten at her face.

Katniss just smiles and tells me to be nice to Portia, and heads from the room. I don't guess it will be hard to be nice, since I barely spoke to my stylist from last year... I still don't even know that woman's name, and I had neglected to learn it because I was so certain that I was going to die last year for Katniss. Now here I am, a year later, convinced I'm going to die for her again.

Assuming that this year is going to be very similar to last year, I just hop in the shower in Katniss's room and throw on the first clothes I see before heading downstairs to the make up area. I find the room with the big 12 on it and find the green haired woman who Katniss called Portia. She smiles and shakes my hand before asking me to lay down on the table.

She instructs the team to wax my entire body, save for my face. I have a few days of stubble left on it and she decides it goes well with the "rugged" look that so many Capitol girls dig. She plays with the make up on my face, making really dramatic features around my eyes, cheekbones, and eyebrows. The black jumpsuit she gives me is plain, and very similar to the one District 12 wore last year. She places a crown on top of my head, alot like the one I received last year when Katniss and I were crowned Victors.

Portia smiles weakly, trying to hold back her emotions, I think. I'm not really sure why she's so emotional over me heading to my death when I'm so calm about it. She wipes away a tear and points me to a mirror, clicking a switch on the collar of the jumpsuit.

And then I see myself.

The suit transforms into the glowing light of a soft, dangerous fire. And that's really the only word I have to describe it: dangerous. It looks like the glowing coals left in a fire, the small spark that could lead a huge fire. The shadows across my face make me look dark, almost evil, as if I could kill Portia and never think twice.

No more am I Gale Hawthorne, the boy from District 12, lover of Katniss Everdeen, miner, brother, son, friend, person.

I am deadly. I am a weapon. I will kill.

"This is perfect," I finally say.

Portia nods, "Cinna wanted to play with the whole 'fire' thing, but he doesn't want them to _like_ you anymore, he wants them to be _afraid_ of you."

"The other tributes will definitely flee when they see how dangerous we look," I reply.

"The tributes?" Portia asks, confused. She furrows her brow at me before catching on to what I was saying. "Oh yes... the tributes."

I cock an eyebrow at her, wondering who she meant would be afraid of us. The crowds? The nation? Snow himself?

The door to the makeup center opens and Cinna spills in, smiling when he takes in my outfit. He strides over to my side of the room and clicks the suit off, "We have to save your battery pack. Now come on, Katniss is waiting."

I follow him down the hallways to the lobby of the remake center where nearly all the tributes are waiting for us. The first pair of eyes that I notice are the sea green of Finnick Odair. He's standing next to Katniss, and I can tell he's trying to flirt and she's shutting him down. He winks at me and then leans in closer, his lips almost brushing Katniss's ear. She leans away from him. I can see his lips moving, but I can't tell what he's saying, and apparently Katniss doesn't like it, because she scowls and I know she's giving him some smart assed remark.

The next person to swamp her is one of the morphlings from District 6, but instead of saving her I just stand to see how she takes it. She's changed so much from the girl she was when I left her to join the PRA, but she's so much the same too. Her hair is pinned back like her mother used to do whenever special occasions arose, and she's dressed in an outfit similar to mine, but instead of hiding her pregnancy like so many of her outfits lately, this suit kind of highlights it. The black slims her, but you can still see the well defined pregnancy bump her stomach creates. I guess Cinna wants to remind everyone exactly what we've done.

Haymitch walks over to me, and I can tell he's been drinking a little, but not enough to impair him as usual. "Know the plan for tonight?"

I shake my head, "Not really."

"Act like you're above it all, no smiling, no waving, nothing, complete Poker Face," he takes a sip of some clear liquor he pulls out of his pocket. "Also, try to be friendly with the people here. An alliance would definitely be in your favor."

"What do you mean?"

"She's nearly six months pregnant, Gale. She needs an entire _group_of protectors, not just you," Haymitch says. "Watch carefully tonight, let me know who catches your eye." He opens his mouth to say something else, but the trumpets sound, our cue to find our chariots and make our way to the square.

Katniss smiles when she sees me, and I kiss her stomach before I stand straight up and kiss her lips. I can see the other Victors staring at us, but I don't really care. I only have a few days left before... I try not to think about it.

"What do you say we give the people something to talk about this year, huh?" I smirk at her. She nods, so I reach around to turn on her suit and she turns on mine.

"Remember," she says. "No emotion, completely above it all."

I grin, "Finally, something I'm good at."

The chariots lunge forward and I grab Katniss's hand before I put on my mask, my poker face, as Haymitch said. Id don't look at the crowd, I don't acknowledge them, as if riding in a chariot with millions of people watching is an everyday thing. But out of the corners of my eyes, I can see the people watching us, mesmerized by our beauty. I sneak a glance up at the monitor and see the camera is focused on us, and only us.

And I can see why.

Katniss and I look like predators, completely dangerous and lethal. My jaw is set in determination, and the stubble on my face makes me look as if I've aged 5 years, with the make up on Katniss's face making her look older too. Even though the cameras show her pregnancy, they also show how deadly Katniss can look. I turn and look at her beside me and I have to make a concentrated effort not to crack a smile because I know she's not just using a poker face-she seriously hates these people and everything they stand for.

A group of people cheering for a pregnant woman to go to her possible death. Great sport.

Our chariots come to a stop and I can see the President stand to address the Victor Tributes. "Good evening, Panem, tributes, mentors. This year we have something..." his lips curl into a smile that makes me want to vomit, "something _special_ planned for you this year. We would like to thank our tributes for the bravery and honor they have shown by being reaped."

He pauses, and I hear Katniss mumble something like, "as if they have a choice."

"I hope you enjoy yourselves while here in the Capitol for the second time, tributes. And be sure to tune in for the interviews in three days! Goodnight tributes, and goodnight Panem!"

He leaves us and goes away, probably to his mansion to eat his fine foods that could feed District 12 for a year. The horses are so well trained that they know exactly when to peel off and where to go, leading us back to the training center.

As we wait for the elevator, Finnick Odair walks right up to me and introduces himself. "I saw your looks earlier, just didn't want you to get the wrong idea," Finnick says.

I smile and shake his hand, "No worries, man. She's obviously a taken woman, you have better manners than that."

He smiles back, but I know that he got my meaning. _Stay away from her_.

"You know, Hawthorne, I think we'd make a pretty good team," he finally responds.

Katniss snorts, but I can't say I'm very surprised. I found out at last year's Games that I'm built like a Career, which is why I think Finnick wants my alliance, but I don't think like one, which confuses me. I just shake his hand and nod, pushing Katniss into an elevator and riding it all the way to the top.

"What the hell was that about?" Katniss asks.

I shrug, "Haymitch told me to try to form an alliance."

"Why?" She snaps.

I shrug again, not really wanting to tell her, but knowing I'm going to have to do it anyway. "Haymitch wants me to make an alliance to protect you."

She crosses her arms, "I can't take care of myself?"

"No one is saying that," I say, putting my hands up in defense as the elevator doors open. "I'm just saying extra hands and eyes won't hurt, babe."

She nods, accepting my answer, partially because I'm right and partially because she doesn't want to fight with me this close to the Games. She turns to Haymitch, "Anything we need to know for tomorrow's training session?"

He smiles back, "We'll talk about it at breakfast, sweetheart. Go change and watch the tribute parade and get a good night's rest."

I walk with her back to her room to find that my clothes are laid out on her bed as well, apparently the Avoxes miss nothing. She asks for help with her suit and I tenderly take it off, kissing the skin of her shoulder as it is revealed to me. I feel the goosebumps on her skin and I can feel her muscles tense, "How about we just _don't_ watch the tribute parade?" I breathe. "Let's just stay here."

She shakes her head, "After, Gale. After." And hurries to put on her clothes so we don't miss the parade on tv.

Just as I predicted, we are the talk of the opening ceremonies. The announcers can't stop talking about how regal and majestic and... _dangerous_ we look. Effie is all a-flutter, discussing all the parties she's going to be invited to and what a wonderful job Cinna did with our costumes. The cameras do a brief close up on his face, but they don't stray from Katniss and I for too long.

The other districts have tried some of the things that Cinna used with Katniss & Peeta last year, but none of them seem to work out too well. Either they're pathetic, like the morphlings from 6 who are basically falling out of their costume, or they're barely covering enough skin, like Finnick Odair's strategically placed netting. But Katniss and I command most of the discussion and the gazes of people from the audience.

I wonder what my mother is thinking while she watches these parades-does she know I was faking it? What about Rory? Does he really think I'm a capable killer? And what about Vick and little Posy? Prim? Could they see my motives? Rory and Mom probably did, but Vick and Posy are too young to really understand why I won't come home, and especially why I didn't get to say goodbye. I just hope like hell they aren't watching me when I die in the coming days.

I hope Katniss can tell them what happened, and weave a story of bravery and honor of the way I die. I hope she can tell them how hard it was for me to protect her, but I did it because I love Katniss and I want her and my child to be safe. I hope she's the one who can give them my letters.

Katniss rises from the couch and heads back toward her bedroom, beckoning me behind her. "I'll be back in a minute," I call. When she shuts the door behind her, I walk over to where Cinna is sitting and nod.

He knows what I've been planning, my actual engagement to Katniss. He takes me to a briefcase on the table and gives me the ring. It had been my Great-Great-Great Grandmother Hawthorne's and had been one of the few treasures that we didn't sell in the Seam. It had a diamond in it, offset with pearls and some blue stone I had no name for. It had been in pretty good condition, considering it was over 100 years old, but as soon as I had the money, I had it sent off to be polished, for the missing stones to be replaced, and for an inscription on the inside of the band that read, "More than my own life."

Cinna smiles when he hands its box to me, "It turned out great, Gale."

I walk to Katniss's room and ask her if she wants to walk upstairs to the roof of the training center with me and she nods, not quite understanding what's going on. We don't speak in the elevator, just hold hands and enjoy each other's presence. I know she's starting to suspect something is going on, but I'm too nervous to try to say anything to her.

I walk out on the roof and look over at the lights of the Capitol city. Katniss puts her arms around my back and I can feel her lean on her tiptoes, "It's beautiful," she whispers.

"Not as beautiful as you are," I say. It's cheesy, but I'm too nervous to be original.

I turn to face her and kiss her lips softly before dropping to one knee, taking the box out of my pocket. "Katniss Rilyna Everdeen, we've known for years that we want to spend our lives with each other, as best friends, companions, and more recently, lovers. I love you, and I know we only have a short time left together, but I would be lying if I said I still didn't want to marry you and give you my last name. Katniss, will you marry me?"

The tears spill out of her eyes, but all she can manage is a nod. I take her in my arms and kiss her, spinning her around, yelling and whooping for everyone to hear. "I don't want this moment to end," Katniss says.

I kiss her lips, "I love you, Katniss."


	31. Guessing

"We have eggs, bacon, biscuits and gravy, grits, omlets, basically everything you could possibly want!" Effie announces to the breakfast table. She's all smiles and bright blue outfits and she doesn't waste any time explaining what we were doing for the day.

"Your training begins at 10 am and then you will break for lunch, go back to training for two more hours, and then be released to your own floors," Effie says. She turns to Haymitch, "Aren't you going to give her any advice?"

He sips on his coffee, which I'm sure is more alcohol than coffee. "Learn something you don't already know," he finally says. "The other tributes know what you can do, and you know what they can do. So instead of trying to impress or hide a skill, learn something you don't know."

I nod, chewing my bacon and not really paying attention. The silence falls on the table again and I nearly finish my breakfast before Haymitch speaks again, "Try to learn clues about the arena."

I'm really too tired to try to have an intellectual conversation with him this early, so I just cock a sarcastic eyebrow at him.

He chuckles, "They're not going to teach you to swim if there's no lake, are they, sweetheart?" I shake my head. "No, they won't. See what stations they have available and try to learn something about the arena." I nod, and we both go back to our food.

Even though it should probably be at the forefront of my mind, the actual arena isn't something I've been real concerned with. Maybe it was because I got the luck of the draw with a woodsy arena last year, or maybe it's because Gale swears up and down that I'm going home and he isn't, but I haven't put much thought into the playing field.

"Where is Gale?" Effie snaps at me.

I shrug, "Probably still asleep." But that's a lie, I _know_ he's still asleep. I have to keep myself from smiling because I know exactly _why_ he's still asleep, but no one has to know except us. And he's still probably in dreamland thinking about what all happened after he proposed to me last night, and my cheeks get a little red thinking about it too.

Effie puts her hands on her hips and glares, "It's nearing 9:30, I'm going to go wake him up."

"_No_!" I shout, and everyone in the room turns to look at me. "I'll... I'll go wake him." Because I don't want Effie to see Gale in the nude and then take a guess at what was going on last night.

I can see Haymitch cock an eyebrow at me, but I just roll my eyes and walk down the hallway to the room Gale and I slept in last night. I gently open the door and see him laying just like I left him, laying on his stomach, arms above his head, with the blanket pulled up to the small of his back. My hands drop to my stomach and I smile, hoping this baby is exactly like him. I walk to the edge of the bed and sit down beside him, taking him in for a few more seconds before I wake him.

I've only watched Gale sleep a handful of times, mostly because he always makes sure I get more sleep than he does. The first time was when the bear mauled him in the woods and I was afraid he would die, I stayed awake for most of the night, just making sure he was still breathing. He starts to stir, so I put my hand on his shoulder, "Gale," I whisper. "Time to wake up," I whisper again. He doesn't wake, so I start to shake his shoulder a little harder.

And then Gale panics.

He jumps and rolls over, hitting my face in the process and knocking me off the bed. The pain is instant, and although he didn't punch me, he slapped me hard enough to leave a red mark, I'm sure. It takes him a moment to realize where he is, what he's doing, and who he just hit.

"Oh my gosh, Katniss!" He runs to my side, still naked, and is a stream of apologies. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, baby! I was having a nightmare and I just… I—I panicked, oh my gosh I'm so sorry."

"Gale," I snap. "I'm fine. I've had worse, and I didn't hit my stomach or anything." This seems to calm him down enough to kiss my cheek and put on some shorts. I sit back on the bed and rub my stomach some more. Our baby has been moving around quite a bit since the day Gale felt him/her kick, but my sudden movement has just woken our baby up, and they are a-flutter with movement this morning. "What was your dream about, anyway?"

He shrugs, "I thought the dreams about Rue and Peeta had stopped, but I guess not."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask him. His face just falls and he shakes his head. "Maybe it's from being back here?" I suggest.

He smirks, "That could be it. These damn Capitol fashions are fucking with my head."

"Speaking of Capitol fashion: Effie's about to pop a vein if you don't get in there and eat breakfast," I chuckle.

He nods, looking at my face again, and then takes my hand to lead me into the breakfast room.

Effie stands at the head of the table, arms crossed and tapping her foot. She instructs us to grab a quick bite to eat and to take the elevator to the bottom floor, because we're late. Gale takes his sweet, precious time, eating exactly what he wants, mumbling something about "hang the rules, we're Victors."

When Gale is finally ready to go downstairs, we quickly realize that we're not the only ones who are late. Finnick Odair and his district partner (a lady who looks to be in her mid-80's, Johanna Mason and her district partner, all the Careers, and Beetee & Wiress are the only ones who are present. The Capitol trainer wastes no time though, giving her speech about training helping a tribute through the Games and how small skills may impact in big ways.

It nearly puts me to sleep, but when she's done, Gale nudges my arm and suggests we start with rope-tying and things like that.

"But we already know how to tie snares, Gale," I scold. "Haymitch said to learn something we don't know."

He nods, "I know. But we'll use different types of snares for different animals, won't we, Catnip? Fishing nets as opposed to a snare designed for a rabbit? Let's just go see what they say."

One of the Career Victors glares at me as we walk to the rope-tying station. Her long blonde hair and number on her jacket give her away and I can remember hearing her name when we watched the Reapings. Enobaria. Gale had told me that she was one of his mentors last year, but judging by the look she's giving me, I don't think she likes me. She walks right to the bow station and picks one up, shooting three arrows perfectly into the target, then she looks back at me and winks.

I shrug it off, she's just trying to get in my head. Whether that's because I killed Clove last year or because she knows I'm weaker in my condition, I don't know.

The instructor, who I recognize from last year, looks pleased to see us. I'm not sure if its because I'm alive or because he's actually happy to see someone at his station. He smiles and hands us some rope and begins to show us some basic snares for land animals and then moving on to a few fishing nets. It only takes about an hour, but by the time he's done with his speech I'm ready to pass out on the table in front of me.

Gale stands up and starts walking toward the targets for the bows that the Careers have just vacated, and picks up one that is too small for him. _Let's shoot_, his eyes say to me. I smile and walk towards him, grabbing the bow from his hands.

I remember that these bows shoot a little differently than mine from home, so I adjust my aim and take a deep breath. The arrow flies from the bow and hits the heart of my man-shaped target. I smile and turn to Gale, _Think you can do better?_

He smiles, _Try this. _He shoots the arrow at the head of the target, just missing the mark. I guess he didn't realize how much these bows pull in comparison to ours at home.

"That was great, Gale," I chuckle. "Really killed the target that time."

He shrugs, _Do better, then._

So when I shoot the bow, I aim for the very tip of the corner, hitting it hard enough that the arrow sticks, but its at the top corner of the target. Gale smiles, catching on to my game of seeing how badly we can miss while still acting like we're trying. Before we really know what we're doing, it's become a competitive game, both of us trying our best to out-play the other. And then it turns into a room-wide game.

The morphlings from six have started facepainting each other into forest scenes, so Gale shoots an arrow only an inch above one's head, hitting the painted apple square, in which everyone in the room turns to stare. The morphlings smile to each other and throw a huge glob of paint at us, missing but hitting one of the trainers in the back instead. The trainer quickly turns around and sees the morphlings with paint in their hands and his face turns bright red, but he doesn't say anything, probably because he knows we won't really listen to him anyway.

Gale leaves the target range to grab some rope from the rope-tying station. He winks at me and sets a pretty basic trap, one that I know will leave a victim hanging by his ankles if walked into. Gale sits on the other side of the trap from the trainer by the edible plants station, he winks at me and turns to the trainer, "Excuse me, sir. Something's not right with this machine."

The trainer sighs and walks across the room to see what's wrong with the computer...and walks right into Gale's trap.

The room erupts into laughter and I giggle, kind of feeling bad for the guy. I still have my bow in my hand, so I get an arrow and aim for the rope. I fire, cutting the poor guy down and sending him tumbling to the ground and the room erupts in laughter again.

"HEY! Do you people mind being a little quieter?!" A deep voice booms from across the room. Everyone turns to see Finnick and Mags on floaties in the pool we're supposed to be using to learn how to swim. Realizing he has everyone's attention, Finnick grins, "We're trying to take a nap here, people!"

And then the lights go out. I immediately clutch the bow closer to me, fearing some Capitol attack on the Victors for messing with them, but after a few seconds I can hear Finnick shout, "Thank you!" and everyone laughs. The lights come back on after a few minutes, and I can see Johanna Mason's clothes in a pile near me, but she's nowhere to be found and I have to giggle. A door flies open and Beetee (the tribute from 3) is being escorted down the stairs by two Peacekeeper guards. He smiles through his thick glasses at Finnick, "Sorry bud, I tried to keep them off for you."

We all start laughing again and the Peacekeepers just throw their hands up and leave, a few of them mumbling about "taking the day off." Gale comes back to my side and kisses my cheek, "What do you say we go back up to the room and take a nap?"

I giggle and nod, taking his hand to follow him back to the elevator.

* * *

"So what did we learn today, children?" Haymitch guffaws, nearly spilling his drink at the dinner table.

Effie whips her head around to glare at him, "Are you serious, Haymitch? They've probably marked themselves for death just for starting it all!"

Haymitch just rolls his eyes and turns back to me, "They had a station that would train you to swim, so many it's a water arena?"

He nods, "It could be. But this is a Quell, so the arena will probably be a puzzle, something the audience can see but you can't." He takes a few more bites of his steak and points his fork at us, "And given how lethal you two were in a woodsy arena last year, I don't think they'll take a chance of giving you another cookie like that. It's going to be somewhere that you're uncomfortable."

"That makes sense," I agree. "Since Katniss and I are basically Public Enemy #1 and #2, but do you think they'll have the public support of killing a pregnant woman like that?"

He shakes his head, "Either they'll put you somewhere you're both uncomfortable, or they'll give you the woods again so Katniss can kill everyone but herself. Now, have you two given any thought to alliances?"

Katniss nods, but doesn't elaborate. I look down and notice she hasn't finished much of her soup.

"Not hungry, babe?" I ask. She grins and tries to take another sip of the soup, but I guess it's off or something because her face turns green and she goes running down the hallway to the bathroom. I pick up her spoon and take a sip for myself, but it tastes fine to me. I shrug at Haymitch and he shrugs back, muttering about 'women.'

Cinna chuckles, "Most women get very sick whenever they're pregnant, Gale. I'll go downstairs and get her some pills so she can eat later."

"So what about it, Gale? Allies?" Haymitch asks again.

I nod, "I like district 4. He doesn't seem like a Career and he's lethal too. I like Johanna Mason and Katniss likes Beetee and Wiress."

"Okay, I know all of them, so I'll talk to them and see what they want to do. You and Katniss will likely have alot of alliance offers since you're at the biggest advantage being the newest Victors."

The conversation dwindles and I catch myself wondering if we really _do_ have the biggest advantage. Like Haymitch said, he's been friends with most of these people for years and we don't know them at all. Is it easier to kill people you don't know, with random faces and names from places you've never been? Or could you kill your friends if your life, or your child's, hung in the balance?

I know I could kill anyone for Katniss and our baby, I nearly killed someone I've known all my life in the arena last year. Peeta ended up sacrificing himself, but would killing him myself have as much of a mental effect as Rue did? Will killing anyone this year stick with me the way she has?

By the time the meal is over, I have more questions than answers.


	32. Impressed

The second day of training passes similar to the first, with only the Careers really trying to show off and the rest of us learning bits and pieces of information before we start goofing off or head to our room for naps. This time last year I would have rather eaten nails than try to miss out on important information for a nap, but this baby is really taking its toll on me.

I'm short of breath after shooting only one round of ten on the archery range and my mind fails me after only one of the edible plants tests, neither of which are like me at all. If Gale notices, he doesn't comment, which is odd. Maybe he thinks I'm just stressed out over the whole thing and doesn't want to worry me.

But I know I only have a few days left with Gale, so I worry anyway.

Everybody decides to stick around for lunch today, so once Gale and I get what we want from the luxurious food buffet we decide to keep to ourselves and sit alone at one of the large tables. But it doesn't last long. No sooner do we sit down then Finnick, Mags, Wiress, Beetee, and Johanna join us, chatting about trivial things like the weather and the one Peacekeeper who was extra sassy today.

The change confuses me, because I didn't think anyone liked us after last year, and I certainly wasn't aware that we were going to ally with any of these people, much less Career Victors like Finnick. I cock an eyebrow at Gale, but he casually brushes me off with his hand, and I know that means we'll discuss it later. I knew Haymitch had wanted an alliance, but I didn't know it was something that Gale was seriously considering.

But I guess this morning should have let me realize that I'm not as strong of a pregnant lady as I thought I was. Not being able to take care of myself in the arena annoys me, and I know that the Gamemakers are going to try to separate Gale and I as soon as possible because of that. I pick up the sandwich I got and start to bite it, thinking of all the strategies that Gale and I will need to get back together once the Games start.

And then I smell the sandwich... It smells...rank. Like some meat that was left out in the sun too long, it twists my stomach like a knife so I drop it and run to the nearest restroom. I make it just in time, spilling my guts to the toilet, puking everything I've eaten in the last few hours. I can hear the bathroom door open behind me and the familiar chuckle of Johanna Mason.

"Well, brainless, the Capitol doctors haven't given you the almighty morning sickness pill?"

I wipe my mouth and walk out of the bathroom stall, washing my hands in the sink. I shake my head, "Is that what this is? I thought I had the flu or something?"

Johanna crosses her arms and shakes her head, "No, brainless. Didn't you pay attention when your mother was pregnant? Morning sickness is part of being pregnant. I'm shocked you didn't start having it sooner."

"Didn't start till I came back here," I reply.

She just nods and lets the comment sink in. "Could it be stress?" I ask.

"Probably," she answers. "Anything else weird going on?"

I shrug, "Strange dreams, weird cravings, but nothing crazy."

"Well, listen, brainless. I've seen some of the shit you've tried to pull in the Districts and I was in the mentoring room when they announced you two as Victors. Just..." she pauses, looking for words. "Just...remember who's on your side, who's-"

The bathroom door bursts open, revealing a breathless and worried Effie, "Katniss! Gale and Haymitch sent me in after you! they're just so worried about you! Oh my goodness we must take you to see a medic at once!"

"Effie, Effie!" I shout. "I'm okay, just something didn't agree with me. I _am_ pregnant after all."

The comment seems to calm her down, but she takes my arm and demands that I spend the remainder of the afternoon taking a nap. Only one Peacekeeper tries to stand in her way going to the elevator, but she shuts him down in such a polite fashion that I almost want to thank her for taking up for me, but I anxiously look around.

_Where is Gale?_ Shouldn't he be here now, concerned for my well-being, for that of our baby?

I mean, _I_ know there isn't anything to worry about, but Gale's never seen me be sick over food, so shouldn't he be panicking? Doesn't he care?

The thought makes me start to hyperventilate, but Effie just takes my hand and smiles warmly, trying to calm me, I guess. She leads me up to my room and waits for me to get comfortable, showing me where the remote is, what number to call for any type of room service, her personal line, or a doctor, before she starts to leave.

"I'll make sure Gale comes straight here when he's done with his training," she adds, smiling sweetly.

"But I didn't ask for that," I say.

She smiles warmly, almost like my mother used to before Dad's accident. "Sometimes, dear, you don't have to. It's written all over your face." She shuts my door promptly, and I can hear her heels clicking all the way down the hall to the living area of the suite.

I didn't have to ask for Gale for everyone to know that I want him? How did she know? I thought I was doing a pretty good job of hiding my feelings, but I guess I didn't. Maybe I'm more dependent on Gale than I realize. How is that going to work out when I'm forced to be a single parent without him? I'd be lying if I said I thought I would be the better parent anyway, because Gale was basically made to be a father. I've seen him with each of his siblings, he'll be a far better father than I will be a mother.

So what will I do when I'm forced to be a parent by myself? Hazelle has done it, my mother kind of did it, countless mothers in District 12 have had to be parents by themselves, so why am I different? What separates me from them? I put my hands on my billowing stomach, feeling my baby kick against them. Don't I love my baby as much as they love their children? I love Gale more than they probably loved their husbands, and I've certainly done more to fight to keep him alive.

I can do it.

I don't want to do it, but I can be a mother to this child. I won't be able to depend on Gale for the rest of my life, especially if I plan on getting out of the arena alive. The Capitol won't let me go a second time.

So I grab the remote that Effie left me and I walk over to the dresser that contains Gale's notes and the footage of all the previous Victors who are in the Games with us this year. I turn to the first page of the notebook and see Gale's careful notes, I put in a tape and settle in bed, I have some learning to do if I want to be prepared.

* * *

"Where is she?" I ask Johanna.

"Upstairs, the food left her a little sick."

I nod, Katniss has been really off lately, I've never seen her get sick over food. I guess it has to do with the baby, but no one else is panicking, so I guess I shouldn't either. "Should I go check on her?"

Johanna shakes her head, "She'll be fine after she takes a nap. If she's not up by dinner I would go see her."

I go back to my meal, considering ignoring Johanna's advice and going anyway, but Finnick starts talking to me about strategy for the arena. I figure that keeping Katniss safe is a little more important than some morning/afternoon sickness, so I stay glued to my seat and discuss the hopeful arena with what I hope are my "allies."

"I feel like teaching us to swim was an important aspect," Beetee starts, pushing up his glasses. "Did they have that station during any of your games?"

We all shake our heads except Finnick, "They had it during Annie's."

Beetee nods, "That should be a pretty clear indication that we should expect a mostly water arena."

"Who's Annie?" I ask. Everybody stops their conversation and drops their gaze, except Finnick. He looks to be frozen in midair, paralyzed at the mere mention of this name by another person. Maybe he didn't want anyone to know how he knew her... I should've just kept my mouth shut and asked Haymitch.

Finnick doesn't answer-it looks like he can't-he just gets up with his tray and heads back to the training area, never speaking a word. I watch him go, still a little puzzled over what I could have said to irritate him. I shrug and start to head back to the training area when Haymitch intercepts me.

"What happened?"

"I asked him who someone named Annie was and he freaked," I answer.

Haymitch nods, "I'll explain why tonight. Look, Katniss is sleeping, but I want you to spend time with everyone, get to know who you want in your alliance and who you don't." He nods again and heads back to the suite, I guess.

And when I go back into the training area, that's my honest intention, but then I realize there's a moving target shooting range at one end of the room. So of course I make a beeline for it. I pick up the bow I was shooting with yesterday and nod to the trainer. The practice birds (ducks I think) go in the air and I casually take them down one by one.

It's almost like being at home.

In between rounds, I close my eyes, imagining that I'm at home in the woods with Katniss again, I can smell the trees, hear the wildlife, and when I open my eyes, I'm there. It doesn't matter that I'm going to die in a few days, it doesn't matter that I'm never going to watch my baby grow up, it doesn't matter that I might not marry the woman of my dreams.

None of it matters. Each bird goes down easily, so the trainer starts to increase the number he sends up. Again and again I take them down until I'm out of arrows. It's only then that I realize everyone is staring at me.

Each person in the room, trainers and tributes, has dropped whatever they are doing and still staring at me, many with their mouths open. I clear my throat and they all snap back to what they were doing, chattering away, about me I think.

Finnick and Brutus both approach me, asking what the hell happened to me to learn how to shoot like that. Brutus blames it on the PRA, Finnick says its luck, but I can't help but notice that every ear in the room is turned towards me when I tell them, "Katniss Everdeen taught me how to shoot."

It's nothing but the truth, but I can see some eyes go wide and some jealous mouths swing open.

After that I decide to take Haymitch's advice. I spend time actually learning things at different stations, starting with a knot-tying station where Finnick's district partner, Mags, is tying some type of fish hook. Within a few minutes, she's shown me how to tie hooks and I've taught her a few snares to catch small game. She smiles at me and I have to wonder what she's doing here. Four has no shortage of Victors, but I remember she volunteered for some younger woman who was drawn. She volunteered, knowing she was going to die.

I decide I want her in the alliance.

The afternoon drags on, I spend time with the morphlings at the camo station, Finnick gives me some practice with a trident, Johanna with axes, Brutus with knives, and I teach them all some archery. It's slow going with most of them at first, because none of them except the careers had ever seen a bow before, but by the end of the day they can all hit a target. I know it will suit them ill once the Games start, because a moving target is so much harder to hit, but I'm trying to take Haymitch's advice.

Before long, we are called back to our suites for showers and supper. I bid goodbye to my friends and wait for Haymitch and Effie, who both greet me warmly.

"What the hell happened, boy?"

I smirk, "Katniss taught me how to shoot pretty well, that's all."

"Everybody's mentors have asked me for youto be in an alliance, you know," Haymitch says casually as we get in the empty elevator._  
_

"You know I'm not going without her."

Haymitch chuckles, "Boy, they said her name before they said yours."


	33. A Plan

When the door opens, I'm surprised to see Effie with an Avox that I do not recognize. The young blonde girl keeps her face straight, but her eyes look happy, as if she wants to smile, so I smile at her, as if to break the ice. I'm kind of glad that someone has come in because I've almost drove myself crazy looking at these films for the last three hours. But the notebook is nearly full of little quirks that I've picked up watching the Games of people who I think are dangerous.

"We brought you some medicine," Effie says. "The doctor said it's not supposed to make you sick anymore, but he wants to see you in the morning, if possible."

I roll my eyes, pausing the television and putting away my notebook, "What's he going to say? I'm too sick to go into the Games?"

The Avox starts to giggle (at least, I think she's trying to giggle), but then quickly puts her hand over her mouth as if she's embarrassed to think my smart comment was funny. Effie just simply smiles at her, "They're going to determine if your sickness is enough that they need to give you a shot or just ignore it."

I nod and tell the Avox to just sit the bottle of pills on the dresser. "Effie," I call before she leaves, "Will you tell Gale and Haymitch to come by whenever they both come back? I've got some stuff I want them to see."

She nods and closes the door softly.

I take the glass of water and swallow one of the pills. I don't know if it's the actual medicine or my mind playing tricks on me, but my stomach feels instantly better. I reach back over for the remote and the notebook. I've got nearly three pages worth of notes for each Victor, starting with the ones I've deemed _dangerous_. Gale would be proud, because these notes continue in the style he started, with basic physical and mental features at the top, then some characteristics of each Victor's fighting style. At the end of each Victor's "tab" is random facts or quirks they used to win their Games. And then in big letters, I've put whether each Victor volunteered and why. I don't know why, but volunteering is something that really sticks out for me, so I make sure to write it down.

The clock reads out 6:53, which irritates me. Shouldn't Haymitch and Gale be back by now? Training would have ended over an hour and a half ago-almost before Effie came into my room-but surely Gale didn't take that long of a shower? Wouldn't he have gotten my message from Effie?

I roll my eyes and look down at my stomach, as if somehow blaming this baby for my moodswings. I get out of bed, which is partially difficult considering I'm huge. I just stay sitting up, toying with the ring on my left hand. Gale chose the most perfect one, and I wonder if they'll let me take it into the arena as my token, even though I already wear the Mockingjay pin. I stand up and walk to the closet, trying to decide if I need to dress a little nicer to be around actual people, but then I look in the mirror and decide that my oversized sweatshirt and shorts is good enough-I am pregnant after all.

I reach for the door to my room and open it a crack, trying to see if there's any important conversations that I could eavesdrop on.

I hear Haymitch's rough voice coming from the dining area of the suite, talking in a hushed tone. Clearly he doesn't want to be overheard…so I take a step outside the door and inch my way down the hall till I can make out each word.

"I just don't understand why they want her to take a physical. She's six months pregnant," Haymitch says. "What are they going to do? Deem her unfit to be in the Games?"

I almost chuckle, then quickly remember that I'm eavesdropping—being discovered wouldn't be good—so I put my hand over my mouth.

Someone gets up from the table and I can hear them pouring a drink from the counter. The footsteps aren't feminine enough to be Effie and it aren't heavy enough to be Gale's, so I determine that Haymitch is talking to Cinna. "That's not the worst thing that can happen," he says. He returns back to the table.

"And what _is_ the worst thing that can happen to her?"

Cinna sighs, "You're a mentor, Haymitch. Don't you know what they do to girls who are reaped while pregnant?" He pauses, waiting for Haymitch to shake his head, I guess, and sighs again, "They give them a pill. It's a little blue pill and it causes them to lose their child overnight. It's terrible and sick, but the public doesn't know about it, I thought you would know."

"I've never had a tribute that was pregnant when she came in before," Haymitch say, and I can easily hear the shock in his voice. "But would they do that to her now? She's so far along and it's not like this pregnancy is a secret, Cinna."

Cinna says something in response, but I can't concentrate.

I look down at the ground, my palms starting to sweat and my breath shortens.

I put my hands on my protruding stomach. A pill? Effie gave me a pill. I try to expand my mind to just under an hour ago, panicking as I realize that I can't remember what color the damn pill was.

Surely Effie wouldn't try to kill my baby, would she? She's on mine and Gale's side, right? I remember my mother mumbling about _abortions_ before we left district 12, she had said I'm too far along, something like that would nearly kill _me_ instead of the baby.

What color was the pill? ...Wasn't it green? I can't remember, I just took it without thinking.

I start hyperventilating. And my breathing is so loud that it draws Haymitch and Cinna from the dining area, panicking almost as much as I am.

"Katniss! Katniss, what's wrong?"

"What's going on?"

"Why are you in the floor?"

"_Breathe_!"

I take a deep breath and Cinna counts to ten before I can speak.

My words are rushed and almost don't make any sense, but I manage to say them anyway: "Effie gave me a pill just a few minutes ago and I don't remember what color it was!"

* * *

"You should know that I only have one goal in joining this alliance," Gale says.

I roll my eyes, "We know, brainless. You want to save the girl and your baby, we got it."

Finnick gently puts his hand on my shoulder and smiles at me, as if to tell me to calm down a little. Sorry if happy endings make me sick.

This whole meeting is a little pointless to me anyway. I don't understand why we don't' just wait till we're thrown in the arena and see who Katniss and Gale trust, but Finnick and Haymitch both think that being up front about the alliance will help the plan go a little smoother. And Haymitch is so confident in this that he has taken the time to find a room for us to meet in that isn't bugged.

"We know what you want, Gale," Finnick says, like a parent soothing a child. "We want to help, that's why we've called together this alliance."

Gale raises an eyebrow, and I can't say I blame him. I don't think tributes/Victors have ever called together a meeting like this to discuss an alliance. Normally that's something for mentors, something that doesn't happen until right before the Games, but Finnick has to do everything the proper way, including gaining someone's trust.

"We want to help you save your precious baby," I spit.

"All of you?" Gale asks.

I nod. Finnick, Wiress, Beetee, Brutus, Mags, and I all came to the decision together. The life of Katniss and that baby are more important to everyone right now. I'm sure Gale thinks we're just being kind-hearted and actually want to help him save his kid, but the motive is deeper than that.

Haymitch thinks that saving this kid can ignite a rebellion on the government of Panem. Somehow, this kid is going to be the one to take down Snow, or something like that. I can't say I pay alot of attention to anything Haymitch says...not that he's said much. Haymitch and Cinna have been a little secretive in their planning, but as far as I know, everybody sitting at this table has agreed to take part of the alliance, but more importantly, a rebellion against Panem.

Except Gale, who doesn't know about it yet.

Gale leans back in his chair, contemplating the plan. "Why wasn't she invited to this meeting? If we're protecting her, shouldn't she know?"

"Well," Finnick replies, "Do you honestly think she'd agree to it if she knew it was an alliance that's sole purpose was to protect her?" Gale shakes his head, "Exactly. Now, we need to start planning a strategy for the arena."

Brutus stands from the table, "I'd bet my life that it's going to be a water arena."

"How do you know that?" Gale asks.

"Swim," Wiress says with her big gum grin. I have to fight to roll my eyes; being patient isn't exactly one of my strong points.

"That's right," Beetee agrees. "In all 10 years as a mentor, there has only been one year that there was a booth that taught the tributes how to swim. And in that year, they flooded the arena."

Finnick sighs, and I know he's remembering Annie, who was a tribute that year and survived because she was the best swimmer. It nearly drove her (and Finnick) insane. I clear my throat and he quickly recovers. "Can Katniss swim?" Gale nods in response. "Good, that's one less worry."

"We know that they are going to raise us up on plates and we also know that they will place us randomly on the plates, so there's a very slim chance that you end up next to her," Brutus tells Gale.

I'm not sure why, but Gale seems to already trust Brutus more than the rest of us. It seems like he would hate him even more since Brutus is a tried-and-true Career, but I guess the bonds of mentor and tribute go deeper than I thought. My mentor automatically cast me aside during my Games, so I never got the bond of friendship that Brutus and Gale share.

"But," Beetee interrupts, "since we have so many in our alliance, including three Careers, we should be spaced pretty close next to her."

"So which one of us is going to get some supplies from the cornucopia? Or do we still need to draw straws for that?" I say.

Finnick shrugs, "It'll depend on who's closest to Katniss and who gets the best running jump off the plate. It'll have to be one of us that's fast and strong, which could be me, Gale, you, or Brutus. We'll have to make a split decision once we get in the arena."

"I don't understand," Gale says. "Why are we talking about this now? Individual sessions are tomorrow, and the interviews are the day after that. Most alliances don't 'officially' form until the day before the Games. Why so early?"

Well, this is it. Time for Finnick to release the bomb that Gale could use to destroy us or help us. Finnick and Haymitch have come up with this plan of rebellion, but now Finnick gets to decide just how much he wants Gale to know. Do we protect _him_, or do we include him so we can all protect Katniss? Finnick and I have had this conversation many times and I've left it up to him. But while Gale's question just hangs in the air, all Finnick can do is look at me, as if I have the answers.

"Tomorrow is going to be a...test, of sorts," I begin. Gale cocks an eyebrow at me and smirks, such a smart ass look. I wonder if that's how he got all the girls in district 12. I take a deep breath, "nobody likes this Quell, not even the Capitol citizens. The only people who are tickled pink over it are the President and his Gamemakers. So in the individual sessions…"

"…you're going to show your asses?" Gale asks.

Finnick nods, "Try to show them how stupid the Games are this year."

"So? The Games are stupid _every_ year," Gale spits. "What do you think's going to happen? You're going to make them feel bad, get the citizens on your side and abolish the Games? No way. Never going to happen."

Finnick smiles, and it's a smile I've only seen once or twice before. The first time I saw it was as a mentor when I watched his Games. It was the smile he gave the cameras right before he killed his last victim, the smile he gives when he _knows_ he's going to win.

"That's _exactly_ what's going to happen."

* * *

My watch shows nearly two in the morning—the damn meeting lasted longer than I thought. It's nice to not worry about who's going to protect Katniss when I die in the arena, but I'm still questioning if I should trust the alliance.

Should I tell Katniss? That's the big question. I don't want us to get separated and for her to think she's on her own, but I also don't want her to think I'm not on her side because I didn't take her with me to the meeting.

The logic in Finnick's idea is clear, because I know good and well that she won't agree that the alliance should protect her. Katniss doesn't like any kind of special treatment like that, even if it means that the life she's carrying is more important than her pride. I know she'll sacrifice everything she has for our baby, but I don't think she'll be happy with seven people all ready to die for her and our child.

I sneak into the suite—trying my best to not wake anyone—only to find Haymitch and Cinna at the dining room table. Cinna nods to me as I enter the room and waves me over to sit with them.

The bags under his eyes, the stubble on his chin showing, and his spacy look tell me that Cinna hasn't been sleeping well, and Haymitch looks worse. I can only imagine how terrible I look, especially after a late night like tonight.

"How did the meeting go?" Haymitch asks, with a slur in his voice. I can only guess that his drink is spiked, but I can't say I blame him because I could probably use a shot or two.

He had asked to go with me but I had told him no, Finnick was something I needed to handle myself. So now he was probably dying for details, and since the meeting was very anti-Capitol, I figured he had gotten it together.

"Went the way I'm sure you wanted it to."

Haymitch smiles, "So you made the right decision, eh boy?"

I nod, trying to make my way to the bedroom Katniss and I share. I'm sure she's just absolutely pissed that I haven't been home yet—can't say I blame her.

"She's not in there," Haymitch says as I reach for the doorknob.

I turn to face the two of them at the kitchen table, "Where is she?"


End file.
